I pulled on his arm, forcing him to look at me. “I’m not imagining this.” I slipped my hand under his shirt, feeling his stomach muscles flex beneath my touch. Caressing him, slowly moving downward, I whispered, “We love each other, and touching the person you love, making love to the person you love, is allowed, Mackennon. So let me love you.”
His chest heaved with shallow breaths as my other hand slipped under his shirt and moved upward to explore his chest, my thumb rolling over his nipple. The fingertips of my other hand pushed beneath his underwear—
“Jesus Christ, Arro,” Mac bit out, this time retreating instead of shoving me away.
I moved to follow him, and he held up his hands like warding off an opponent.
“No means fucking no,” he snarled.
The words sliced through me, and I froze.
But he wasn’t done.
“I don’t feel that way about you.” He glowered over my shoulder. “End of fucking discussion. Now I need you to get dressed and leave.”
“You can’t really mean that,” I whispered, betrayal washing through me.
Mac’s eyes flared a second before his expression turned blank.
He’d never looked at me like that.
Like he was staring right through me.
His tone cold, he said, “This will never happen again. Get dressed and get out, and I’ll pretend like it never happened.”
Nausea rolled upward and I fought to keep it down as tears blinded me. I needed my clothes. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
I needed to cover the skin that now felt covered in dirt. Only a few minutes ago, I was powerful and sexy in my nakedness. Now it was as though someone had stripped me and tied me up outside for strangers to gawk at.
Guilt and dread, the cause of the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, carried me as I hurried to dress, forgoing underwear to get my clothes on as quickly as possible. “I’m sorry,” I muttered hollowly again as I moved toward his front door.
“Arro—”
I hurried out, slamming it behind me, and then I was running and crying, sobs racking my whole body as I sped toward my car parked around the corner, out of sight.
I didn’t know if anyone saw me.
I had one goal: to get as far away from Mackennon Galbraith as possible.
* * *
PRESENT DAY
* * *
I thought I’d cry retelling the scene to Ery, but I’d cried myself out weeks ago. That whole night I’d cried so much, I thought I might die from it.
“For a few days, I was so humiliated and wrecked by what happened, I could only feel guilt. For doing that to us.” I met Ery’s sad gaze and shrugged miserably. “But I realized after those first few days that the only reason I thought he’d want that from me was because everything he’d done in this past year suggested he loved me, that he wanted me. I didn’t imagine those kisses, his touch, the long phone calls and flirty texts. I didn’t imagine that, Ery.”
Tears finally burned my eyes, furious fucking tears. “Was I in the wrong that night? Yes. Maybe I was blinded by my desperation for him, and I tried to manipulate everything. I should’ve listened instead of trying to seduce him. For that, I’m sorry.
“But this wasn’t that simple or straightforward. It’s complicated between us, and I deserved better than to be treated like a stranger, to be humiliated and made to feel like … I can’t even describe how I felt at that moment. Like I wanted to disappear. I just wanted to disappear.”
The sob broke out between my lips, taking me aback. “I hate him! I hate that I lost myself so much in wanting him. That I did that to him. And that he humiliated me for it. I feel sick every time I see him, like I want to crawl out of my skin, and I’m so angry, Ery.” I sobbed harder, and she pulled me into her arms. I clawed at her, holding on as she rocked me and whispered soothing words against my hair. “I’m angry at everything, and I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I don’t want to be angry anymore.”
Eredine’s arm tightened around me, and I could hear the tears in her voice as she promised me it was okay, that everything would be okay.
But I wasn’t sure it was a promise she could keep.