He hands us each a box, and Kendall immediately starts pulling at the ribbon to get it open, while I stay frozen in my spot. We talked about this… About staying under the radar. He agreed.
Kendall gets her box open and inside is a gorgeous pink tulle dress and matching pink, sparkly shoes. She shrieks, of course loving it all.
“I’m going to go try it on!” she yells, already running down the hallway.
“You going to open yours?” Easton nods toward the box in front of me.
“What are you doing?” I ask, ignoring his question.
His brows knit together. “I’m hoping to take you and Kendall to a concert.”
“In public? Where everyone will see us with you?” My heart stutters in my chest. This can’t be happening.
“Nobody is going to know you’re pregnant. You’re barely even showing. And you’re further along now anyway.” He takes a step toward me and I take a step back, needing space to think. I thought I had more time to figure things out, but here he is, trying to pull me into his world… his very public world.
“What’s going on?” he asks, his voice full of concern.
“What’s going on is that I don’t want my daughter and I splashed across the tabloids. I want my private life to remain private.” I can’t do this. I can’t be who he needs me to be. Not with my secret… The thought devastates me. What the hell was I thinking? That’s the problem… I wasn’t.
“That’s impossible with the life I live,” he says, “but I can assure you, I’ll do everything in my power to protect you and Kendall, always.”
He speaks with such conviction, I believe him. I have no doubt he’d make sure we’re safe and seen in a positive light. The problem is it doesn’t matter what light we’re seen in. Once we’re out there, people will dig, and if they dig, I run the chance of my past getting dug up. And I can’t take that chance. I care about him, I might even be falling in love with him, but I have to put my daughter’s welfare first, always. I’m her mom and it’s my job to make sure she’s loved and safe.
“You said you didn’t want anyone to know about the baby,” he continues. “You didn’t say anything about not being seen with me.” Hurt flashes in his eyes, and I hate that he thinks this is about him, but I can’t explain the truth to him. I have to stick to my story. It’s how I’ll ensure my family and daughter are safe from Freeman. I’ve seen the person he’s become. He’s worse now than he was seven years ago. The power has gone to his head and I can’t even imagine what he’s capable of.
“Well, I’m saying it now.” I jut my chin out in defiance, trying to sound aloof, when inside, my heart is cracking, shattering, the pieces falling all over the ground. “I don’t want to be in the spotlight.”
“Sophia.” He sighs, his tone filled with confusion. “It’s impossible to remain hidden. Paparazzi follow me everywhere.”
“Then I guess we don’t go anywhere!” I shout in exasperation. I don’t know what I’m doing right now, what I’m saying. It feels like my world, the one I’ve done everything in my power to keep in a bubble, is about to explode, and I can’t let that happen.
“Ever?” he gasps.
“I don’t know!” Tears of frustration prick my lids. I knew this day would come eventually, but I ignored it, pushed it to the side and allowed myself to get lost in him, which was easy to do in our own little bubble. But now he wants to pop said bubble… “This is all just happening so fast,” I blurt out. “I need… I need some time to think.” I want him, but I can’t change who he is. And if I have to choose between him and my daughter… It’s her, it’s always her.
He shakes his head and is about to respond, when Kendall comes running out in her gorgeous dress. “I’m ready! I look like a pretty princess! Right?” My heart plummets because I’m going to have to tell her we’re not going anywhere.
“You look beautiful,” I tell her, forcing a smile on my face.
“You look like the prettiest princess in all the land,” Easton murmurs, trying like hell to hide how he’s feeling.
“Sunshine, can you do Mommy a favor?” I ask.
“Uh-huh.”
“Can you go play in your room for a few minutes while I talk to Easton?”
Her face falls, but she nods and walks away.
Once she’s in her room, Easton bridges the gap between us. “Don’t do this,” he pleads. “Don’t push me away.”
“I’m sorry,” I mutter. “I can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“Us.” Our eyes lock and hurt dims his brown eyes. “I need space.”