He disappears and I close my eyes and wonder what in the world I’m going to do.
CHAPTER 38
Reed
I hear the shower running and smile as I stretch out on the bed. God, it feels like heaven to have Callie back home with me. I want to talk to her about giving up traveling and working here at home. She just chose traveling to challenge herself, but she doesn’t need to prove anything to herself—or anyone else for that matter.
The truth is, I’d prefer she give up working at all, but I know working helps keep her out of her shell. That’s important, so I won’t push her. I doubt she sees how far she’s come in five years, but I see it. She’s not completely healed, but there is more of the Callie before Mitch than the broken mess he left behind.
I figure one day I may join my brother in hell. Some people would say I deserve it for what I did. Maybe I do because I don’t feel one ounce of regret for what I did. Most days, I wake up wishing I could do it all over again, but make it hurt more. The best days, however, are when I don’t think of him at all. That happens more and more—especially with having Callie back in my life. When she smiles at me, I feel like I’ve won the lottery and that only pales to the way her laugh makes me feel.
She was in pain last night, and I loved being the man to hold her, rub her back, and make sure the heat pressed against the area where she was having the cramps. She gets them much worse than what it should normally be like—or at least that’s what I’ve read. If it’s weird that you read up on your woman’s pain, then it’s not like I give a damn. I’ve been reading anything and everything about what I can do to make it easier for her. Color me surprised when I found out that sex actually helps. Now, I just have to convince Callie.
With that thought, I slide out of the bed. I’m already naked. I’m not sure Callie bought it when I explained that my body heat would help her pain, but she didn’t fight me. In fact, she snuggled up to me. I wonder how she’s going to react to me getting into the shower with her. Especially since I can’t hide how hard I am for her.
I take a minute to stand by the shower. Droplets of water are creating small paths over the steamed over glass. It somehow plays peek-a-boo with her body, just allowing me to see small glimpses of her pale skin. Callie has no idea how much I need her. The last five years I’ve reached the pinnacle of one of my biggest dreams. I surpassed milestone after milestone and still, I did it feeling empty. She makes life worth living. It may sound as cliché as fuck, but it’s one hundred percent true. I love this woman so much that it hurts. I open the door, the heat from the shower hitting me immediately. I can hear Callie’s gasp over the water. Surprise is etched all over her face.
“Reed? What are you doing?” she asks, nerves skittering into her voice as her gaze moves over my naked body. Her gaze freezes on my very erect cock. God, I could pound concrete right now. I need her so much that it’s all I can do to try and be rational.
I kiss her. I didn’t plan on it, but I can’t keep from it. She’s hesitant at first, but she soon kisses me back and for a moment the shyness and the way she questions her every movement with me drops away. It’s just me and Callie, both hungry for one another. I groan into her mouth as the kiss deepens. I swear if sex could be summed up with a taste, it would be Callie’s mouth. It’s erotic, sinful, and wicked all at the same time. Yet, it’s also sweet. Fuck me, Callie is sweet all over, and I will never get enough.
When our kiss ends, we’re both breathing hard. Water is running over her body, and she looks like a goddess. Some of it splashes on me, but her back is to the shower head. That means, I get a very good view.
“I thought you could use company.”
I slide my hand against her neck, letting the pad of my thumb brush against her cheek.
“Maybe we could spend time together when I’m out of the shower,” she says, and I can tell she’s uncomfortable—maybe even embarrassed.
I don’t want that. Callie is one of the most innately sexual women ever created. It oozes out of her without trying. The problem is that the abuse she endured robbed her of the freedom to explore that, to revel in it. If I never accomplish another thing in my life, I want to give that back to her and show her how amazing she is. I want her to see what she does to me without trying and to make her comfortable enough that she knows she can do whatever she wants to me. I’m hers completely. I want to tell her that, but I know I have to move slowly.