“Cool. In that case, I have one more favor.”
“Jesus, woman—”
“Will you sing a couple of songs at my reception?”
“Christ.”
“Is that a yes, Reed?” she whines, making me laugh.
“That’s a yes, pain in my ass.”
“Sweet! Okay, I’ll tell Jeff to give you a jingle. Love you, Reed! Mean it!”
“Yeah, yeah,” I laugh, clicking off my phone and tossing it on the table.
It looks like I’m going back to Macon. I’m not sure how I feel about that—or about the fact that I’m going to come face to face with the woman who nearly destroyed me—but strangely kept me going all at the same time.
CHAPTER 1
Callie
The spring wind slides through my hair. I close my eyes and enjoy the moment. There are times when I imagine I can feel change in the air. There’s a sense of anticipation around me. Of course, it could be that I’m just fooling myself. It’s not like anything great has happened to me since Reed left Macon.
It killed me when I let him go, but I did the right thing. Reed deserved better than me. He deserved everything good in this world, and I’m so happy that he seems to be getting it because no one has earned it more than him. I still think of him often. There’s no way not to. His songs are constantly on the radio, and there’s a big sign at the Macon city limits that reads, “Home of Ryker Lane”.
“Callie!”
I jerk when I hear my name. I look up from the flower bed I’m digging, putting my hand over my forehead to shield from the sun. I grin when I see Katie walking up my yard. Katie is sunshine. She has this light that breaks through the clouds and completely warms you up. She’s sass and fire. We couldn’t be more opposite. I wish I had some of Katie’s spirit. I do try to find it—I just can’t.
Truthfully, there are days I feel as if I’m fading in this world. As if, maybe, the world is swallowing me up. It’s a silly thing to imagine, but it’s true just the same. I’ve been working through that feeling—and many other things—with my therapist Dr. Carter. There are days I feel stronger. Sadly, there are the same number of days that I feel weaker. I know I’ve come a long way from the girl I used to be—the girl whose parents made her feel unimportant and unworthy of love. Dr. Carter has tried to make me see that the choices I’ve made in life stem from that strong need to be accepted and loved. I played into Mitch’s hand, and he took advantage of me. That doesn’t free me of blame and guilt, however. It’s accepting my part in the choices I made that hurt like hell. I can look back and see where I did something stupid based on the scars inside of me. I just can’t do anything to change it.
If I could rewrite the past, everything would be different.
“What are you doing out here? Didn’t you have work today?”
“I took the day off to start planning the wedding. Three weeks isn’t that long, you know.”
“Why didn’t you just set a date a little farther off?” I ask as Katie squats down in front of me.
“Jeff and I both agreed the sooner the better. We’ve wasted enough time. I’ve wasted enough time.”
“Have you talked to Jake?”
“There’s no point.”
“Katie—”
“Too much time has passed now, Callie. The Jake I thought I knew, never existed.”
“You should tell him the truth about Lennon. It will come out. The truth always comes out.”
“He doesn’t deserve the truth. A man, a real man, the man I thought Jake was, would have known the truth instantly.”
“Katie, you can’t say that.”
“I can. That’s not what hurts though.”
“What do you mean?”
“The truth is that there’s a part of me that thinks he knows. He just doesn’t want to accept it.”
“I’m sorry, Katie.”
“Life is life, right? It hasn’t turned out the way either one of us planned it.”
“No, it hasn’t. That’s for sure.”
“I wanted to talk to you—if you have a minute, I mean.”
“Yep. I’m just getting the flower bed ready to plant some bulbs. I am definitely looking forward to the sun. This winter has been horrible. I can’t remember Texas ever getting this much snow.”
“Lennon has enjoyed it,” she laughs as I stand up.
“Why don’t you come inside? I’ll pour us a glass of iced tea and we can talk.”
I don’t wait for her to respond. I take off my gardening gloves and walk up on the back deck. I pull the handle on the sliding door, and cool air hits me. I hear Katie coming in behind me as I’m washing my hands.
“You have worked your butt off on this place. It looks beautiful, Callie.”
“Thanks. I really love it. It’s peaceful here. I was hoping to buy that old place that Reed used to take me to, but the owner refused to sell. This place is smaller and doesn’t have the woods or a creek, but it has privacy,” I rattle, going to the fridge and grabbing the pitcher so I can pour our drinks. “The best part is that with my choice to move into travel nursing, I have this baby paid up for a year. So, everything I pay on it now comes off the principal. I’m hoping to pay it off a lot earlier than it’s due.”