I laugh. I know he is. It’s one of the reasons I like the son of a bitch.
I put my phone down on the bedside table and go through the conversation. Kingston is right. I did come back to Macon to see Callie. The wedding was just an excuse, although I’d never tell Katie that.
It’s time I put the past behind me and stop living in limbo.
CHAPTER 12
Callie
“Are you and Jeff okay?” I ask because Katie seems really subdued today. I know something is going on and yet Katie hasn’t said a word. I’ve given her space. Now, it’s time that I ask point blank.
“Of course, we are. We’re getting married,” she says, but her voice doesn’t sparkle the way that I know it does when she’s happy.
“How about you be straight with me, Katie? You know, like you make me be with you all the time.”
“Oh? Like you told me you were fine meeting Reed last night and then almost had a meltdown? I hadn’t seen you that bad in months.”
“I got through it,” I mutter.
“Yeah, with Jeff’s help. You leaned on him all night. Maybe you should be the one marrying Jeff.”
I suck in a breath, her attack coming out of the blue. I don’t know where it came from either. She has to know me better than that. I’ve never looked at another man—not since Reed left Macon. I haven’t wanted to. I doubt I ever will.
“Jeff and I are just friends. You know that. I would never… never…”
“Shit,” she hisses. “I know, Callie. I’m sorry. I’m being a bitch. You didn’t deserve that.”
“It’s okay.”
I’m lying. It’s not okay. I’m left with this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can’t worry about it right now. I have to push through it. I’ll think on how I feel later. Maybe I have been depending on Jeff too much to get through this wedding. It will be over soon.
“It’s not. God, I really am sorry, Callie. It’s just…”
“Just what?”
“The closer we get to the wedding, the more I’m noticing that Jeff is miserable.”
“Have you asked him what’s wrong?”
“Jeff says he loves me. He says he wants to marry me,” she whispers.
“Do I sense a but here?”
“He wants me to tell him I love him.”
“Have you?”
“Yes, but he’s right. I don’t love him the same way. The thing is, Callie, I think I might love him the only way I can. Jake killed something inside of me. I promised him that there will never be anyone else but him I open my heart to. I promised him that’s all I have inside of me, and he seems to have accepted that,” she murmurs, sounding and looking miserable.
“Why do I feel like there’s yet another but?”
“Because there is,” she confesses.
“Are you going to share?” I ask.
“He wants me to tell Jake the truth,” she says, the words sounding as if they’re torn out of her.
“Oh, wow.”
“Yeah. Don’t give me that look, Callie.”
“Katie—”
“I know, you think I should have told him the truth, too.”
“I think he deserved to know.”
“Just like Reed deserved to know that you loved him and didn’t want him to leave Macon five years ago?”
“That’s different. I wasn’t carrying his child, Katie.”
“You’re right. I’m weak and pathetic. It’s all my fault.”
“That’s not what I said at all—”
“I’ll see you at the rehearsal tonight, Callie. I need a break. You know best friends are supposed to be on your side, no matter what.”
“I am on your side. I just don’t want to see you hurt more—”
“Believe me, having Jake blame me and our son for the reason he didn’t get to live his dream would have hurt much worse. Hell, there’s a big chance he would have still chosen the rodeo over us even if he had known. That would have destroyed me.”
“And how will it be if he waltzes into your life after finding out some other way and demands time with Lennon?”
“Don’t you think I live in fear of that? Don’t you think I wake up every night from that nightmare? I do. I’m not heartless, no matter what you and Jeff think. I didn’t want this. I did what I had to do. I’m not the bad guy here, Callie.”
“I didn’t say you were.”
“I really need some time alone. I’ll talk to you tonight. Will you need a ride to Jeff’s mom’s home?”
“N…no. I can drive myself.”
“Sounds good,” she says, turning away and going to her car.
I watch her go, wringing my hands. The whole conversation leaves me unsettled. There’s not much I can do. Sadly, I know who can help. I force myself to go inside my house, taking off the gloves I was using to trim my roses and putting them and the clippers down on the table by the door. Next, I grab the phone and sit down on the sofa. I have Reed’s number. I’ve never used it, but Katie gave it to me once and I kept it. I nervously dial the number and wait. After the third ring I’m about to hang up. It was probably a bad idea anyway.