“Katie—”
“If he knew for sure that he was a father, he wouldn’t have an excuse to hide behind, Reed. He’d have to either step up and be a father or let Lennon go completely. Let’s face it, being a father would cramp the life of a rodeo champion,” I laugh bitterly.
“Katie—”
“It’s fine, Reed. I gave up hope of ever coming anything but last in the world of Jake Ryan. He and Jeff couldn’t be more different and I’m glad. Jeff is everything I will ever need. His brother has been nothing but heartache.”
“Heartache I can understand. I’ve made a mint singing about it.”
I smile up at one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I had an ulterior motive in asking Reed to come in for my wedding. I’m hoping I can nudge him and Callie into finally getting together. Their story is not mine and Jake’s. Both Callie and Reed still love one another deeply—even after five years. Maybe by being close to one another again, that love can begin to spark something inside of them. It may sound silly, but they deserve happiness more than any two people I’ve ever known.
Who knew I’d be a hopeless romantic? It appears I am—at least as long as Jake Ryan isn’t involved. When it comes to him, I just feel hopeless.
CHAPTER 8
Callie
“I should have worn the black dress.”
“Oh, my God, Callie! Will you hush! You look beautiful.”
“I’ve gained weight since Reed has seen me. The black one would have helped hide that,” I whine as we walk up to the restaurant.
“Sweetheart, you look beautiful. If my heart didn’t already belong to Katie, I’d be hanging out on your doorstep every night until you went out with me,” Jeff says, giving me a wink as he walks between me and Katie, a hand on each of our backs.
Jeff is a throwback from another time. He’s a rancher, a gentleman, and just an all-around nice guy. He came to Katie’s rescue even before he fell in love with her. There’s no doubt now, though. He loves her completely.
He loves her the way Reed loved me. I was just too lost in the scars of my past to trust it.
And then I ruined it.
I’ve paid thousands of dollars in therapy to learn that. It’s supposed to heal me. I don’t feel healed. I just feel empty. Now, the one man—the only man—I’ve ever loved is going to be sitting across from me tonight. I’m so nervous that I can barely breathe. I’m five years older, I’m pathetic when trying to function in a crowd, and I’ve also put on over twenty pounds.
“You guys, I don’t think I can do this,” I murmur, feeling weak. My heart is hammering against my chest, my palms are sweaty, and there’s a roaring sound of blood rushing in my ears. I’m about three steps away from a full-blown panic attack. I have a hunch that those three steps will be walking into that restaurant.
“Callie—”
“I can’t, Katie. I just can’t,” I hiss, bile rising up. I knew seeing Reed again would be bad, but I didn’t think it would be like this.
Jeff gently moves Katie out of the way and puts his hands on my shoulders. “Look at me, Callie.”
I squeeze my eyes shut instead.
“Callie. You’re safe. Remember? Remember your therapy. No one here is going to hurt you. Mitch is gone. You’re safe.”
I force my eyes open to look at Jeff. “You’re safe. Reed hasn’t hurt you. He wouldn’t hurt you, honey. If he tried, I wouldn’t let him. You’re safe.”
“I’m scared, Jeff,” I confess.
“I know, but I have faith in you. Look how far you’ve come in five years. You’re working and traveling. You paid off your property. You’re working on paying off your house. You are doing so good. You have this, Callie. I’m so proud of you.”
I breathe deeply as I try to come off the ledge. I look at Jeff, and slowly, the panic begins to loosen its tight hold on me. It’s still there, and I know it won’t go away. I hate these damn things. I started having panic attacks not long after Reed left Macon. My therapist says there is no rhyme or reason when it comes to panic attacks. I didn’t have them when Reed was here. I think because he made me feel safe. Who really knows? You would think knowing that Mitch wasn’t going to come back would be enough to stop any panic attack I might have. It didn’t work out that way, though. The nightmares of Mitch began. It felt as if he was haunting me—spreading his evil from the grave. Then, it just kept getting worse. When I didn’t leave the house for two weeks, Jeff and Katie pushed me to go into therapy. I’ve worked so hard to recover. No matter what I do, I’m still broken.