Satisfying was an understatement.
He laughed when he saw me buried in blankets. “You’re one step ahead of me. Here.”
The glass of water disappeared faster than I thought it would. “Wow.”
“Almost always, you’ll be thirstier than you expect.”
“You know so much about this.”
He smiled and handed me my phone. “I had good teachers. But I haven’t had anyone I wanted to do it with in years. Before I even moved here.”
Hearing him say that soothed a little friction inside my chest. Even though I had no right to say anything because of Joel. It wouldn’t have been a bad thing for Grant to have someone. But now that he was mine, I didn’t want to think about that.
Was he mine?
I wanted him to be. Fuck slowness.
He caught the look on my face. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
Lena’s number was still there from my earlier call, and Grant got into bed beside me while I listened to it ring. “Hello?” Lena’s chirpy voice answered.
“Hi,” I said. “I’m not dead.”
Grant’s soft laughter vibrated through me and had me leaning toward him out of pure instinct.
“I’m glad you’re not dead, girl. You’re okay?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Good,” she said. “I better be hearing about every bit of this as soon as possible. Got it?”
I nodded before realizing she couldn’t see me. My head was still fuzzy. “Got it.”
“Have a good night,” she said, laughing as she ended the call.
Grant placed my phone on the nightstand before pulling me close. As good as the sex was—and it was absolutely everything—this almost rivaled it. The utter closeness and care that he was offering like it was just a thing that was expected.
Because in a normal relationship, it was.
“Thank you,” I said.
“You’re welcome. But you don’t need to thank me. I didn’t do you a favor. It’s not like I didn’t very thoroughly enjoy myself.”
Curling into him and closing my eyes, I let myself relax. “It’s still strange.”
“Why?”
“Because it shouldn’t feel that good. I shouldn’t like that.”
Gently, Grant shifted us so he was leaning over me. “Again, why?”
I pressed my lips together. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Are you worried about what Joel said?”
“No. I know it’s not like that, but it still feels…strange. And maybe wrong to enjoy being tied up like that. What does it say about me?”
Grant let his hands drift across my skin. “What does it say about me that I like seeing you that way? We enjoy what we enjoy, no matter what other people might think of it. And as long as everybody is on the same page about what’s happening, then there’s no problem.”
That made sense. I was going to have to let that settle in my brain a bit more. “How did you learn about this?”
“I got interested in college,” he said with a laugh. “But I didn’t have a clue about what I was getting into. There’s so much more to that lifestyle than I’m interested in. For example, sex is the only aspect of anyone’s life that I like to have control over. Outside of that, I much prefer things to be a level playing field.”
“I like that too,” I admitted. “That was…just what I wanted. Not having to think about it. Just feeling it.”
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my temple. “If you enjoy something, there’s nothing wrong with that. And if you want me to take the lead as far as sex, believe me, I’m more than happy to.”
I shivered. It felt dangerous and subversive to say yes to that. But I did want it. Especially knowing without ever having to ask that if I changed my mind, he would be fine with it. “I would like that.”
A real kiss then, his mouth covering mine and teasing it open, tangling our tongues together. Showing me exactly the way he could and would take control. I was breathless all over again when he finally released me.
“But to answer your question, I found what I was interested in and found people to teach me. Simple as that.”
That tiredness was creeping up on me, threatening to pull me down into sleep. I felt mumbly and soft and warm. “So you’ll tie me up every time?”
“Maybe not every time,” he said softly. “There are plenty of ways that I can take control and make you feel good without the ropes. But you’ll be in my ropes again,” he promised.
I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. There was still a tiny part of me that was waiting for him to shift me away so that we could sleep next to each other instead of entwined. But he didn’t. Grant pulled me closer, and I dozed off to the steady sound of his heart in my ear.