Daring to meet Grant’s eyes, I saw that his whole being was focused on me like a laser. Every movement and every breath was something that he noted. This was the part where I was supposed to tell him. Just open my mouth and blurt it out. I didn’t.
Instead, I ducked my head and finished the last few bites of my meal.
Grant waited, still focused on me. He wasn’t going to prompt me or beg me. This was my choice. Curling up in the chair, I wrapped myself entirely around my glass of wine. “So with that in mind, along with some…thoughts I’d been having, I asked if Joel would maybe like to try some new stuff in the bedroom.”
A quick peek at Grant’s face showed that both of his eyebrows had risen into his hairline. Shock, but not judgment. Not yet, anyway.
“And you saw how he reacted. I didn’t know that kind of request would do that, and I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Thankfully, Lena and Evelyn agreed with me that it wasn’t. But you caught the tail end of the tantrum. Thank you, by the way.”
He simply nodded, and I pushed forward.
“Then a couple days ago, Joel found me in the stable. He assumed that we would still go to the wedding together—this was after you asked me, and even if you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have gone with him. That wasn’t the answer he was expecting, so he cornered me up against the ropes in the stable.” I shuddered. “Claiming he’d come around to the idea of trying new things and being spontaneous.”
I saw Grant’s hand tighten on his glass, and his body was taut like a bowstring ready to snap.
“I got lucky. A stable hand walked in, and Joel made it look like I’d fallen down and had gotten tangled. Told me I’d better not do anything adventurous with anyone but him.” I swallowed hard. “And then, of course, him texting me with vaguely stalkerish messages and me thinking I see him following me is not helping the situation.”
Grant’s eyes glittered like ice. “Would you be opposed to my fist having a conversation with his face the next time I see him?”
I let out a breathy laugh. “I would definitely not be opposed to that. But it would only make everything worse for both of us. Joel’s family is as rich as mine and with more reach. He gets what he wants. It’s better if I just lie low until this blows over and he’s not focused on me.”
Grant pursed his lips. “Certainly you have a better grip on the situation than I do, but your ex sounds a little unstable.”
I took another sip of my wine. “He is. It’s obvious now, and honestly, I knew it before, but I ignored it.” How many times had I deliberately not spoken my mind to him because I hadn’t wanted him to lose his temper? People should be able to disagree without anyone throwing a tantrum. “There were rumors when we were in high school and college that his family paid off people Joel got violent with. I didn’t want to believe it—he was never physically violent with me. Until what happened in the barn.”
“It seems like his family is enabling him. Hiding the problem instead of helping find a solution. He could be bipolar with violent tendencies. That sort of thing can escalate.”
And I’d been the one to stick my head in the sand and date him. I felt like an idiot.
Silence stretched out between us, and that horrible self-conscious embarrassment took hold of me again. “Anyway. That’s what happened.”
I stood and drained the last of my wine before grabbing our plates and taking them to the sink. There was no dishwasher. Hot water and soap were the things I focused on. Wash the dishes and get them clean. He’d cooked. It was the very least that I could do.
Hands lightly on my hips made me freeze. “Cori.”
Slowly, I continued to wash the plates and forks. “Yeah.”
“Why are you hiding from me?” His voice was soft.
It was easier to tell him the truth when he couldn’t see my face. “Because I’m embarrassed.”
Grant’s hands came around me and turned off the water, gently lifting my hands from the dishes. “I can wash my dishes.”
“You cooked—”
“And I will clean in the morning. I wanted to cook for you, not make you do the work.”
He turned me so my back was against the counter and dried my wet hands with a dish towel.
“Why are you embarrassed?”
I knew why. Because even though I knew that it wasn’t, and that everyone agreed with me about being in the right, there was still a part of me that felt Joel’s reaction was valid. That these fantasies I had made me devious and dirty in some way. “I just am.”
Grant’s touch was light as a feather as he brushed his fingers down my arms. “You said you’d been wanting to try other things in bed. This was something you’ve thought about for a while?”
“Yeah.” My throat was dry, and I tried to clear it. “Particularly being tied up. I don’t even know if I’ll like it. So it doesn’t really matter.”
One finger tilted my chin up so that I couldn’t avoid looking into Grant’s eyes. “Do you really believe that?”
My stomach fluttered. I didn’t want to lie to him. He would be able to tell. I wrapped my arms around myself. “No.”
“No matter what you asked him for, nothing would warrant the reaction that I saw. Nothing. Not liking or enjoying something is fine. Verbally attacking the person you’re dating so she feels like she has to protect herself the way I saw you do? That’s never okay. And then using it as ammunition to try to physically attack them? I’m trying to keep my caveman instincts in check when I think about that.”
“Caveman instincts?”
“I want to beat the hell out of him. Track him down right this second and make sure he knows that he’s never allowed to touch you again unless you explicitly ask him to. But I’m not going to do that because it’s not what you need, and you’re the only thing that matters here.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Thank you.”
“I have a question,” he said. “And I don’t want you to be embarrassed by it.”
I bit my lip. “That sounds impossible, but I’ll try.”
He searched my face. I didn’t know what he was looking for, but he found it. “Would you really like to try some of the things you mentioned to Joel, or was it hypothetical? Like, being tied up. Is that something you’d definitely like to try? Because if so, I’d love to do that with you.”
My heart rocketed in my chest. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? My mind went entirely blank, and a veil of arousal descended over my body. Just the possibility had all of me tumbling into overdrive.
It was too good to be true. Any second, he was going to start laughing and tell me that he was kidding. That he would never stoop to that kind of level.
Grant slipped a hand behind my neck, brushing my cheek with his thumb. “Cori? Did I kill you?”
“Maybe.”
He grinned. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking I’m dreaming. That’s the only way that you just said that.”
“What did I say?” His eyes were full of mischief, asking me to repeat it back.
My breath was shaky. “You said that you would tie me up if I wanted it.”
“Is that what you want?”
I was so full of everything that I could barely think to get the words out. “Yes. Yes, I want that.”
Grant pulled me into his arms, brushing my ear with his lips. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Any fantasy you want to try, Cori, it would be my privilege to help you explore.”
“So you…like the idea?”
One of his hands dropped down my spine, pressing my hips into his, so I felt exactly how hard he was. “That would be an understatement. I like every idea involving you, me, and a lack of clothing. But you tied up with nowhere to go but to let me drown you in pleasure? That’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever heard in my life.”
I was on fire. That’s what this was. I was literally on fire. The tightness and heat that spoke of pleasure gathered in my gut. This was real, and it was happening, and oh my God, this had to be a dream.
One full beat passed, and then his lips were on mine. A possessive kiss that blew every other kiss out of the water. Into the dust. Forget every other kiss. This was the one. And given how good Grant was at kissing, that was saying something.
When he pulled back, we were both breathless, and he grinned. “Are you with me?”
I smiled back. “I’m with you.”