He doesn’t look at me, instead watching the sky I was just staring at. Does he see what I do when I look at it?
The silence wraps around us, neither of us willing or wanting to fill it. My back is ramrod straight, my ass and legs burning from the position I’m in, but my pulse seems to slow the longer he’s beside me.
His sandalwood scent mixes with the smell of the flowers, and I close my eyes, taking a deep breath and soaking it all in. Seconds ago I thought I was about to be hurt, but now I know I’m not. At least, not by Luke anyway.
I don’t know why I know that, I just do.
I shouldn’t feel like this with him next to me. I should be worried my dad could look out the window of his office and see us sitting here. But a part of me can’t seem to muster anything up to care. He’ll reprimand me again I’m sure, and more than likely for something that wasn’t my fault. This way at least if he catches me, it’ll be for something I wanted.
“You sit here often?”
“Yeah,” I whisper, afraid to talk too loudly. “My best memories are in this field.”
I turn to face him, swallowing at his side profile. He’s the kind of man that’s ruggedly handsome, jagged edges surrounding him with pain in his eyes. A pain that calls to me on some unknown level.
When his gaze meets mine, the pain is so loud and clear it almost takes my breath away, but I keep it
locked inside, not willing to ask him what it is.
He wouldn’t tell me anyway. He doesn't know me.
So why does it feel like I already know him after only being around him for such a short amount of time?
“Tell me one of them.”
I swallow, not moving my gaze from his eyes, wrapping my arms around my middle, and biting my bottom lip before wincing from the pain of the cut.
He opens his mouth, his gaze zoning in on the action but I don’t let him get a word out before I say, “My mom would spend hours in this field.” I look away, staring at the flowers I can only see the outline of now that the sun has gone down. “She’d run through the flowers, me chasing her, playing hide-and-seek, picking the flowers and making headbands from them.” My eyes close, taking me right back to the last time we were in this field. “The last time she said to me, ‘Lily, know that if you ever need to be with me, I’ll be right here, surrounding you with these flowers.’” I open my eyes, wiping away a stray tear. “At the time, I didn’t understand what she was saying, but now I know. And she was right.” I let out a long breath. “Every time I sit here, I can feel her around me, feel the safeness of her arms, feel the… escape she created for me.”
Luke is silent for the longest time, so long I have to turn to make sure he’s still there, but when I do, I find him watching me.
“You miss her.” It’s a statement, one I nod at to confirm. “I know what it’s like to have a good mom… but I also know what it’s like to have a shell of a mom too.” He runs his hands down his face and back up, grabbing onto his blond hair as he murmurs, “What am I doing?” He shakes his head, standing up and planting his hands on his hips.
I scramble up after him, not wanting this to be over yet, but knowing I only have a few minutes before I have to be back.
“What’s your favorite color?” I blurt out, trying to gain his attention.
It works, because he looks over at me with wide eyes before his lips quirk up on one side. “Right now it’s blue.”
“Mine’s purple,” I reply immediately, smiling and shuffling on the spot, trying to hold back the wince as my skirt rubs against the marks on my legs.
We stand staring, just like we did this morning. So many things passing between us, but nothing spoken out loud before he reaches into his pocket and clears his throat.
“I’m gonna say something now, and I want you to listen.” He pauses a beat. “You don’t need to answer me, you don’t have to ever use it, but…” He tips his head back, cursing under his breath. “I know something is—” I open my mouth, my eyes widening, but when he holds his hand up, his eyes sparking, I close it. “Something is happening. I have my suspicions, and I know it’s none of my fuckin’ business. But… I don’t know that the hell is going on here… I haven’t…” He shakes his head, holding something out to me. “Take it.”
Reaching forward, I slowly take it from his hand, and look down at it. “A cell?”
When I look back up, he nods. “Yeah… you ever need anything, you dial one and I’ll answer.”
“But—”
“It’s there if you need it, my number is programed in as ‘A.’”
I look down at it with both confusion and relief. How can two emotions intertwine and have you feeling both safe and in danger at the same time?
“I…” Staring back up at him, I’m at a loss for words. He knows, he can see it, but neither of us say it out loud. I almost want him to demand I tell him. Maybe he could help? What is it Kim said he did for work? I know he used to be in the Marines, but that’s about it. “Thank you.”
He nods, taking a step back and pushing his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “You’re welcome.” He turns around but stops before spinning back and blurting out, “You ever been bowling?” I shake my head, my mouth not able to work. “It’s Mom’s birthday next week, I thought we could go?” He clears his throat. “The three of us?”