I hold my books against my chest, gripping them as hard as I can as I walk through the packed hallway lined with blue lockers.
I want to say this is the place where I can get away from the atmosphere at home—the walking on eggshells—but it’s not. It’s just as bad here as inside those four walls with the monster himself.
Here I’m known as the goody two-shoes, the girl who prays to God, a bible basher. If only they knew the real me.
The me who doesn’t believe a word said inside the church, the me who hates every single thing religious because it reminds me of my dad. The me who hates living in a world full of cruelty and anger.
But they don’t know me… no one knows who I really am.
“Watch it!”
I stumble as a shoulder barges into my back causing my books to fly out of my hands. My knees hit the cold, hard floor, the impact causing vibrations to slam through my body.
Laughter surrounds me—brash and cruel.
My hair creates a curtain around my face as I keep my head down, shielding myself from their harsh stares.
Squeezing my eyes closed, I tell myself I only have to put up with it for another few months. They only do it because they see me as an easy target, knowing I won’t fight back.
I never fight back.
Taking a deep breath, I count to three in my head before reaching for the first of my books.
Nobody helps as they walk past, instead they kick them further away, making me crawl along the dirty floor to pick them up. They don’t care; none of them care.
I learned a long time ago to never rely on anyone but myself. People let you down, promise you things and then destroy their promises and don’t look back.
Just like my mom did.
She should have cared enough not to leave me, should have—no, I’m not going to think like that. There’s only me now, and at least I know I can trust myself.
In a few months, I’ll be out there on my own without the evil that surrounds me here. I’ll have a fresh start, a new life—a happy life.
Standing up with my shoulders hunched, I keep my eyes down as I make my way to my locker in the senior hallway.
Friends are standing around, talking about the upcoming weekend, parties they’re going to, places they’re going to meet at. Sometimes I wish I was in on those conversations; sometimes I wish I had friends.
“Hey, Lily!”
I don’t look up, knowing who it is from his voice. I silently beg him to leave me alone as I put my combination into the locker and pull open my door. He doesn’t obey my silent request though, because not two seconds later he’s leaning against the locker next to mine.
“Come on, Lily, you can’t give me the silent treatment all the time.”
Grabbing my bag, I close the door, flicking my gaze to his dark-green eyes—eyes that hold the same kind of evil as my dad’s.
“What do you want, Jonah?”
He shrugs, his lips lifting into the ghost of a smile as he runs his hand through his light-brown hair. “Just wanted to see if you’ll be in church on Sunday.”
“I will.”
He watches me, not taking his attention off my face as his friends start to gather around us. “Your dad is coming over for dinner tonight, you coming with him?”
“No.”
“Hmmm.” His gaze flicks down to my chest, his tongue coming out to lick along his bottom lip. “You should come. I have something in my room I could show you.”
“No, thanks.” I scrunch my nose up and start to turn away, but I’m stopped by his hand gripping my arm.