Nobody is perfect, but people like to put a front on and pretend to be that all-American girl or boy. The kind where they’re naturally beautiful and have the immaculate personality that will attract everybody around them.
I’m not that kind of person, I know that, and neither is Evan. Sure people want to be around him, to listen to him when he’s joking around. But none of them really know him.
I have secrets: secrets which no one here knows about. They may know what was said in the paperwork when I was arrested, but they don’t know the full extent of what happened that day or following it. They know what he wants them to know and nothing more.
I see the pain in Evan’s eyes when he looks at me, a pain buried so deep I’m not sure it will ever come to the surface, but I won’t stop. I won’t ever stop being there for him because for me, he’s it.
He’s the one person who makes my heart sing and my soul dance. He makes me feel like a more beautiful, funnier version of who I really am.
I lean my head on my hand as I sit and watch him teach his self-defense class, the same class he teaches twice a week. His head turns toward the door, a smirk dancing across his lips before his honey eyes connect with mine
. I can’t see them from here but I know that the gold swirls will be sparkling as he stares at me.
Butterflies swarm my stomach as I sit up straighter, my palms sweating as he moves toward the front of the class, only taking his eyes off me for a few seconds to tell them today’s session is over.
They all start talking to Evan, and soon I can’t see him against the women who are surrounding him.
“Ever thought about trying it?”
I jump at the deep voice, spinning around and coming face to face with Roy.
“You scared me!” I shout, my hand flying to my chest as nervous laughter slips out.
He’s been back for a couple of days. His sister passed away and he had to stay a week longer to arrange all of the funeral and everything else. The thought of a funeral has my good mood taking a nose dive; I never got to attend my gran’s, not being able to get permission for day release.
Instead, he took care of it, the one person she didn’t want anything to do with, the one person who made all of this so much worse for all of us.
“Sorry.” He chuckles, leaning on the other side of the reception desk, watching as all the women file out of the room and out of the main doors. “I need to talk to you and Evan.”
“I…” My eyes widen when he swings his gaze to me and then back to Evan as he puts the equipment away in the storage closet. “What… what about?”
I start to panic, my breaths coming faster the longer he’s silent. Does he know about us? It’s not like we’ve kept it secret, but neither have we outright come out and said we’re together.
Wait… are we together? We haven’t even had that conversation. Come to think of it, I haven’t got a clue what we are.
What if he only wants something fun? What if he doesn’t see me as girlfriend material?
I’ve lived on cloud nine these last two weeks, having fun with him and not thinking twice about being me. But not once have I thought about what we are, not until this moment. Now, as Evan walks toward us, pulling his t-shirt over his head which causes his muscles to ripple, my mind is full of doubts.
His gaze captures mine and he must see something he doesn’t like because he frowns before coming to a stop next to Roy.
“Hey, Roy.”
Roy answers him, but I have no idea what they’re talking about because I’m stuck inside my own head. Maybe I made the whole thing up? Maybe I thought it was more than what there really was?
I’m stupid, so so stupid.
I bring my arms around my middle, hugging myself and warding off the chill that starts to seep deep within my bones.
“As I wasn’t here to organize the fun day, I’ve rescheduled it all for in a month's time instead.” The sound of Roy’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I whip my head around to him.
“Fun day?” I ask.
Both Evan and Roy turn to face me. “Yeah, I think I mentioned it to you a few weeks ago. We put loads of different activities on. Evan does the barbecue, Elena brings animals for the kids to pet, there’s activities for everyone.”
“Oh…” I nod my head, not having a clue what he’s saying, or maybe I can’t process it all right now?
“Anyway,” he says, waving his hand in the air. “I need both of your help this year.”