“Fuck!” I push my hands through my hair, pulling at it and relishing in the burn that runs through my scalp. “I… fuck... dammit!”
I start pacing in front of him, my eyes focused on the gravel that covers the compound and the crunching sound underneath my black combat boots.
I have to control this: control how I feel. There’s no way I can go there, not now, not ever.
So why is it that all I want is to go in there and crush my lips against hers?
I shouldn’t feel like this. I shouldn’t, dammit!
My gaze swings back up to Luke where he’s leaning against the back of the van we use for jobs, a tub opened and a brownie making its way to his mouth.
“You enjoying this?” I spit out.
“Me? Hell to the yes, I am.” He takes another bite, his brow raised as I carry on pacing in front of him. “You need to chill the fuck out.”
“Chill out?” I laugh. “Chill out?”
“Yeah,” he says, pushing up off the van. “Chill the fuck out. Have some fucking fun for a change. Get laid, go out on dates. There’s nothing and no one stopping you.”
“What—”
“Evan…” He places his hand on my shoulder, squeezing slightly. “Nothing. Is. Stopping. You.”
“But she’s an ex-con.”
“Yeah, there is that. But… she seems harmless enough.” He shrugs. “What she get put away for anyway?”
I wince, knowing that I’ve done my research, and he knows it too by the look on his face. “Robbery and assault.” He whistles. “She was trying to steal pills for her grandma’s illness and accidently knocked a police officer out as she tried to escape.”
He laughs; full on throw your head back laughter. “I can see her doing something like that.”
“Yeah.” I grin. “Me too.”
My mind wanders back to when I first met her and how awkward she was, how awkward she still is.
“Come on, Ev.”
I let my head fall back, staring up at the night sky and watching the stars twinkle in the sky. When I was a kid, I used to love lying in the front yard, staring up at the stars and imagining that each one was dancing to some inaudible beat that the universe was playing.
As I’m about to step forward, the warehouse door opens, and we both swing our gazes toward it.
“I… erm…” I smile as Lexi worries her bottom lip and takes a few steps toward us. “I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who talks so much.”
“Kay?” both Luke and I say in unison.
“Yeah.” She chuckles. “Look…” She takes another couple of steps. “I wanted to say thank you for helping me. I can’t make you understand what hospitals do to me or how they make me feel. So, bringing me here to fix me up. I… yeah… thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I say, my voice rougher than normal. I can’t stop my eyes as they wander over her and the jean shorts she’s wearing with a black tank and black Chucks.
“And you, Caveman,” she says, swinging her eyes toward Luke. “Thanks for stitching me up.”
“You’re welcome.” He shrugs. “I’ll do it anytime if you bake some more of these brownies for me.” He groans and rubs his stomach before turning to face me and winking. “I’ll be inside.”
I widen my eyes, begging him silently to not leave me alone with her, but willing him to move away faster all at the same time.
The sound of the warehouse door closing echoes around us, and I shuffle awkwardly, my eyes slipping back to her and then away just as fast.
What the hell am I doing?