“Lexi? Is that you?”
“Yeah.” I step forward and pull the door to my bedroom open and see Livvy standing there, a worried look on her face.
“You okay, lovely?”
“I—Yeah, I’m good.” I plaster a smile on my face.
Her eyes flit between mine, probably knowing that I’m lying but she won’t ask me about it. She’s gotten used to my weird behavior these last few weeks and I’m sure she thinks I’ll open up to her at some stage. I won’t though. I don’t want her to know who I am, what I’ve done; especially inside those walls.
She shakes her head and waves her arm for me to follow her. I head down the hallway to the last door on the right and into the kitchen. The pine wooden doors that sit on the units make the kitchen feel warm, that coupled with the large pine bench that she uses as a kitchen table.
I sit down and she places a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me. “You didn’t have to—”
“Shush, child.” She chuckles and then hands me a glass of OJ and sits opposite me. “I wanted to. Now you just eat and get some energy, I need you to run me some errands today.”
I look up at her, a frown on my face. This last week her joints have gotten worse; she suffers from arthritis and some days she can hardly move, whereas others she’s on the go nonstop. Today looks like one of those days where she’s struggling.
“You shouldn’t have cooked this if you’re not feeling good,” I admonish her.
“It may have taken me twice as long, but if you’re going to be running errands for me, then it’s the least I can do.”
I blow out a breath. “You can’t tell you anything, you know that?”
“I know,” she answers, a mischievous grin on her face. “It’s the rebel in me.”
I laugh as she winks at me and pick up a piece of candied bacon, moaning when it touches my tongue, exploding over my taste buds and creating a party in my mouth.
I sit in silence for the next ten minutes, savoring every bite while Livvy makes a list of errands that she needs done.
“I’ll go and get ready then,” I tell her, carrying my plate and glass over to the sink, rinsing them and placing them in the dishwasher afterward.
“Okay, lovely. I’ll still be sitting here.” She winces and I can’t stop my stomach from dipping. I saw the same thing happen to my gran, only she didn’t have the meds that Livvy does. It all seems like déjà vu; it’s all too real and it starts to choke me.
I can’t be here, I can’t think of my gran.
I need to block it all out and concentrate on getting ready and going out to run these errands, not thinking about a past that I can’t change. No matter how much I wish that I could.
I run down as fast as I can; the circulation in my hands being cut off from the heaviness of the bags. My Chucks slap against the sidewalk as sweat pours down the middle of my back: I can only imagine how red my face is right now.
After running errands for Livvy
all day, I missed the bus and had to wait for the next one which has now made me late: I have fifteen minutes to get back, change clothes, and then make my way to the community center. I can’t be late.
“Whoa there!” Hands cup my upper arms as I start to stumble and I gasp, looking up into Mal’s light-brown eyes. “Where’s the fire?”
“I—” I take gasps for breaths; trying to talk when you’re out of breath is almost impossible. “Livvy—bad day... errands... missed bus... late for work.”
He nods at my scattered words, seeming to understand exactly what I’m saying.
“The community center?” he asks, letting me go and taking the bags out of my hands.
“Erm… yeah. What are you doing?” I ask, frowning down at his hands now but also shaking my fingers out at the relief of them not digging into my hands anymore.
“Helping you.” He shrugs and crosses the road, me following at his heels, confused.
“But—”
“You head in and get changed, you don’t want to be working in those sweaty clothes.” He chuckles to himself as he walks up the path to Livvy’s house and opens up the door.