Stronger than I have in a really long time.
“You know what?” We cross the road and come to a stop at the apartment building doors. “I think I will.” I nod and puff out my chest, pleased with myself.
“You will?” She gasps, opening up the door and looking at me like I’ve grown two heads.
“Yep,” I say, popping the p. “Where are we going?”
“Erm... I’m not sure,” Jess stutters from behind me, clearly taken off guard by me agreeing to go. “I think we’re going to a pizza place and then the bar.”
“Cool.” I reply, trying to keep a calm facade when inside my nerves are going haywire. I’m playing it off, being my own kind of strong, but my heart is hammering in my chest and my palms are sweating.
I’ve committed to it now and one of the books I got out of the library said that the hardest thing is making the decision. Once you’ve made the decision, you’re more likely to go through with the action. It’s easy making the decision, it’s going through with it that I’m worried about.
I really need to read the next part of the book because I only got as far as the decision part.
“You good on the clothes front?” Jess asks, lifting a brow at me as I unlock the apartment door and look back at her.
Frowning, I try to see what she’s trying to tell me without actually talking. Her eyes hold that gleam that makes me nerv
ous. “Jess...”
“Ava...” She smiles sweetly but she doesn’t fool me. “I’ll choose your clothes,” she says so fast that it takes me a second to realize what she’s said. “Can you do my makeup?” she calls back to me just before she goes into my room.
“Sure.” I shrug, that’s one thing that I’m used to; she always has me do her makeup when she goes out.
I follow her into my room and watch as she goes straight to my closet and pulls out a cropped black vest top and a pair of high waisted jeans that have several holes in them.
They aren’t even the fashionable ones that you buy, these are homemade and not the kind where you cut them yourself. More like the kind that you get after jumping over a fence and ripping them as the cops are chasing you with your dads next hit in your pocket.
I shake the thoughts from my head as soon as they come because thinking back to that time is only going to set me back and ruin my mood.
“Okay, sorted.” Jess whistles in appreciation at where she’s laid the clothes on my bed and then sits on the chair next to my desk, waiting for me to do her makeup.
“Are you serious?” I ask, my eyes wide. “I can’t wear that.” I point at the clothes on the bed and turn to her.
“Sure you can.” She smiles. “You won’t show any skin; the jeans are high enough to not show any.” She grins at me, teeth and all, and then points to her face. “You gonna make my face look amazing or what?”
Raising an eyebrow, I smirk.
I know how much she hates a full face of makeup, she only ever wants a little foundation and some mascara. I’ll be getting her back for making me wear those clothes.
Pulling my makeup trunk open I look inside, deciding on what to use.
This is going to be fun.
Two hours later we’re both ready, Jess with a full face of makeup and me in the outfit she chose. She’d tried to get me to wear the shoes she had picked out too but I wasn’t budging on that.
Shoving my feet into a pair of boots I huff at the face she pulls.
For hours, she kept me busy but now as I head to the apartment door to leave my nerves hit me full force. Stopping in the doorway, I hold my hand up trying to tell her to give me a minute.
Am I doing the right thing? Should I just stay in like I normally do?
Maybe all of this is too much, too soon.
“Ava?” I shake my head at her and hold up a finger trying to calm my breathing. I just need a minute to gather myself, I don’t need a pep talk.
I keep telling myself I’ll be fine but she kind of threw me for a loop when she told me we’d be skipping pizza and going straight to the bar. But Scott will be there too so a least I’ll know someone else. We’ll all sit in a booth together, we’ll have a good time and then we can come home and I can pull another sticky note off the wall.