“So what are you going to do with all that spare time dear?” I huffed out a huge breath. That was the question of all questions.
“I don’t know, Miss Maggie. I’d like to maybe get a little job.” I shrugged.
My hand fluttered over my pocket, the number still safely tucked away. I wanted to call, I probably wouldn’t even get the job. But the fact that it was still on my mind spoke a thousand words, I just didn’t want to go behind Max’s back. Was it even worth broaching the subject with him?
“That would be nice. You need to get out and have something of your own.”
I moved my eyes from Eli to the cartoon that was playing on the TV. I did need something; Eli couldn’t be my whole life. I needed something for me.
“Corey said that his friend was looking for some help in his office.”
Her eyes widened at the mention of Corey. She always loved to hear about him and knew that I waited every Saturday for his call.
“Corey finally called?”
“Yeah.” I nodded and fidgeted in my seat.
“He okay?”
I nodded and looked at the picture that sat next to the TV. Miss Maggie and her husband both with giant smiles on their faces with her husband dressed in his army uniform. She knew better than anyone what it was like.
“Well, what are you going to do?”
However much I liked to think I wasn’t sure, deep down I knew my answer.
I just had to admit it to myself.
*~*~*
We stayed with Miss Maggie for an hour and then went over to our apartment. Eli sat at the table in the kitchen drawing whilst I made dinner. I hadn’t been able to get my mind off of getting a job so I decided that I would broach the subject with Max.
I just had to do it in a way that wouldn’t cause him to think I was overstepping my boundaries. Any little thing I said could set him off, I had to tread carefully.
He wouldn’t want me to get a job, but I had to say something even if it was just to tell myself that I had tried. That might be enough to put it to rest in my mind.
The apartment door opened before I figured out what I would say. Butterflies swarmed in my belly. I wiped my hands on a towel and picked up the plates my hands shaking so hard the pasta nearly slipped out of my hands. I made it to the table just in time.
I inhaled a deep breath, willed myself to calm down and went back for the drinks.
He walked in as I was sitting down. I couldn’t get a read on him, which was worse than when he was angry. At least then I knew what to expect.
His boots stomped along the floor as he crossed the small space.
“Hi, Max.”
He grunted and sat down next to the window, picked up his fork and shoveled pasta into his mouth.
“Eli had his first day at preschool today.” He grunted again. I did this all the time, I always ended up talking to myself. I’d stayed silent once, which he took to mean that I was hiding something, so now I always made sure to tell him all that we had done that day. However small it was.
I moved the pasta round my plate, not hungry in the slightest.
I slid my eyes to Eli, his head was down while he picked up a piece of pasta and placed it in his mouth. I hated seeing him like this, the contrast from a couple of hours ago to now was unreal. It was becoming more and more obvious how Max affected Eli; he’d started to go silent whenever he was around. His movements would slow down almost like he knew that if he moved too fast he’d gain unwanted attention. If it was just me and Eli, he would have shoved all of his pasta in his mouth much like Max was.
“So…” I waited for Max to look up. When he didn’t I went ahead anyway. Now was as best of time as ever.
“I’ve got all this free time, now that Eli is at preschool,” I said lightly.
His head snapped up, those eyes pinning me in place. I gulped at the intensity knowing better than to look away. I shouldn’t have said anything; the grunting should have been warning enough.