BELLE
The drive to the dorms was slow. I wasn’t sure if it was because I couldn’t really remember the journey to the safe house, or whether it was because I was dreading being back in the same place. Ford had supplied me with a burner cell until my dad could get a new one delivered, but I hadn’t even opened it to the messages that had come through.
I saw my mom’s name flash on the screen, along with my dad’s, Asher’s, and Cade’s, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer. If I wanted to be able to do the last few weeks of this year at college, I had to push it all down, as far down as it could get. I could deal with it all later. I could go over and over it in my head when I had the capacity to work through it.
And right now, I didn’t have the energy to think about it.
The last five months had been a whirlwind. So much had happened, and not just between Ford and me. I turned to look at him as he pulled up into one of the lots outside the dorm buildings, and I wondered what he thought. Did he think I should have gone home? Did he think I was making a mistake?
I wasn’t sure because he’d pulled his mask on, and so had I.
A car pulled up beside us, and I whipped my head around to face it. “What the…” Uncle Ky lifted his hand in a wave, and Uncle Ryan nodded at me. “What are they doing here?”
“They were at the house,” Ford said, and I glanced at him. “I told you that.” Maybe he had, but I couldn’t remember it. I could barely remember the last five days. “They’re gonna take Lottie home.”
“What? Why?”
“She can’t stay in the dorms with you, Belle.” I knew what he was saying made sense, but if Lottie wasn’t staying, did that mean he was going too? He must have been able to read my features because he said, “I’m staying. You’ll have to sneak me in after curfew.”
A breath whooshed out of me at his words, and my shoulders curved in. I was trying to hold myself together the best I could, but my stomach was churning, and nausea was making its way around my body at lightning speed.
“I’m gonna be sick,” I managed to croak out a second before I swung the door open and puked. I heard slamming of doors as I brought up the lunch I’d eaten, and then someone was holding my hair and stroking my back.
“You’re okay.” Ford’s voice made its way through the pounding in my ears. “Go get some water,” he barked at someone else, and a second later, a bottle was pushed toward my face. “Take a drink,” he said, his tone softer as he spoke to me.
I lifted my head and kept my eyes squeezed shut as I took a pull of the water and then spat it back out again.
“You sure this is a good idea?” I heard Uncle Ky ask. “Maybe she should just—”
“I’m not going home,” I ground out, and opened my eyes. “I’m gonna finish these last few weeks, and then I can put all this behind me.”
I pushed out of the car and walked around the back where Lottie was waiting with Uncle Ryan. “Sweet girl,” I murmured, and crouched down so I could wrap my arms around her. She came to me willingly, almost as if she knew she wouldn’t be seeing me for a while. Tears threatened to fall, but I managed to keep them at bay. I’d cried so much in the last week that I wasn’t sure if my body could handle losing any more tears. “I’m going to miss you.” I pulled back and stared into her eyes. “But I’ll see you really soon, okay?” Lottie licked my face in reply, and then I stood, needing to get this over with and settled into my room. I had classes tomorrow and a shift at the coffee shop. I’d already missed one shift and couldn’t afford to not turn up again.
“Let’s go,” I said, but I wasn’t sure who I was talking to as I walked into the building and to the front desk. A security guard was manning it, and I gave him my name.
His eyes widened as he looked behind me, and I knew from the way my skin buzzed that Ford had followed me in. “Erm…yes, I have a package for you here.”
The security guard handed me a manila envelope, and I opened it. Inside was a key, a pamphlet with rules on it, and also a map of campus. “Thanks,” I told him, staring at the key and the fob which had Room 6F written on it.
I spun and came face to chest with Ford. I held the key up for him to see the room number and then walked over to the elevators on the back wall. I hit the up button and waited for the doors to open.
“Curfew is ten. So I’ll have to sneak back in after that,” Ford told me, keeping his voice low. I didn’t answer him because there was noth
ing to say. My entire life had imploded, and now I was running on empty. I was cruising, trying hard not to hit the brake pedal.
The elevator opened, and we moved inside and then waited as it took us up to the sixth floor. Girls were moving from room to room on the floor as the doors opened, but I didn’t take any notice of them. I was on a mission to get into my room, and finally take a breath again.
I recognized people’s faces, and when they saw me, whispers started to surround the hallway. They knew what had happened to Stella and Justin—they had to know—and now they were looking at me with suspicion. I wanted to scream at them and tell them it wasn’t my fault, but I didn’t really believe that.
Ford took the key from my shaky hands and gripped on to my elbow to halt me. He unlocked the door marked 6F, and walked us inside. The door closed behind us, blocking me away from the rest of the world.
“It’ll die down after a while,” Ford told me, but his hazel eyes said something different. I nodded anyway, acting as if I believed him, but the truth was I didn’t. I didn’t think it would die down, and even when it had, the image of them would still be stamped into my brain.
I spun around in a slow circle, taking in the small room. A single bed was pushed against one wall with enough space between a closet and a set of drawers to walk between. A door on the left gained my attention, so I moved toward it and opened it up. A tiny bathroom comprising of a sink, a toilet, and a mini shower cubicle filled the space, and I was relieved I didn’t have to use the communal bathroom. The toothbrush in the holder called my attention, and I couldn’t resist picking it up and brushing my teeth. Once I was done, I placed it back in its holder and stepped back into the main part of the dorm room.
The door clicked closed as Ford asked, “You hungry?” I shook my head and pressed my hand to my stomach. The nausea had eased up a little, but I wasn’t sure I could keep anything down. “Tired?”
“I…” I flicked my gaze to the bed and saw several of my things scattered about. Someone had set my room up. They’d been through my things and decided what I’d needed to make the place feel like home. “I could sleep,” I told Ford and slipped my tennis shoes off.