By the time I was changed into black jeans and a black T-shirt with my belt attached around my waist to hold my guns and a knife, Belle was waiting by the front door, her fingers flying over the screen of her cell. I didn’t say anything as I dropped my bag next to her sofa and grabbed my keys, wallet, and cell, then walked by her and opened the door. I kept my arm outstretched in a silent command to stay back while I checked the walkway and looked down into the lot. It was quiet, so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
“Clear,” I told her, moving my arm and then closing the door behind me. The alarm would go into effect as soon as we were out of the apartment, and the door would be impossible to get past, so at least we knew no one would be coming in there who didn’t belong.
Belle’s footsteps followed behind me as we made it to the stairs, and once we were at the top, I glanced down, and then back at her. Her ears were bunched up to her shoulders, her gaze shifting left to right, but those two things were the only tell that she was nervous. An outsider wouldn’t have been able to spot those things, but I could. I’d trained to identify each and every movement of the body, to read its language so I didn’t need words to figure someone out. It was a natural thing for me to do, something I’d learned when I was a teenager on the streets.
I swallowed, my instincts kicking in and demanding I comfort her, but I couldn’t. I had to stay focused and make sure there wasn’t anyone out there wanting to take a cheap shot at us. Keeping on high alert, I maneuvered down the stairs and then to the car without a problem. Maybe I was being overly cautious, but I’d rather be too prepared than not prepared enough.
Once we were both in the car and I was pulling out of the lot, Belle seemed to relax. I had a feeling it was because she knew how safe this car was. It was a safe house on wheels, and I made sure to use it whenever I was away on an assignment. It wasn’t only bulletproof, but I’d also had Jord install equipment to block out any signal so my calls couldn’t be traced or listened to from inside it.
“Do you need the address?” Belle asked, and I turned to face her. My brow rose in silent response and she shook her head. “Of course you don’t. I don’t know why I asked.” The straight line of her lips told me she wasn’t happy about me knowing the ins and outs of her schedule, but neither was I. The only reason I knew was because Garza had gathered the intel on her. The one man who should have never even known about her.
“So…” I cleared my throat and relaxed my hand on the steering wheel, wanting to get my mind off the situation at hand. Being constantly reminded of the danger around you wasn’t good for anyone, especially when they weren’t used to high-pressure situations. It was starting to wear me down, so I had no doubt it was doing the same to Belle. “How long have you been volunteering at the shelter?”
I felt Belle’s arm on the center console, so close to mine but not actually touching. Was she aware of how one little movement would make our skin touch? Did she do it on purpose?
“Since freshman year,” she said, her voice small. “No one knows…well, no one did know, but I’m guessing Mom and Dad are aware now, huh?”
I cringed, not knowing what to say. “Yeah, they know.” I shifted in my seat and pulled to a stop at a red light. “Why did you keep it secret anyway? You have this whole life none of us knew about and—”
“I didn’t want you to know,” she interrupted, her gaze meeting mine. Her blue eyes swirled with an emotion I’d seen often in her mom’s eyes twenty years ago. She wanted to run, escape from the situation she was in, but I had no idea why Belle felt the need to do that too. She had a good life. She had two parents who loved and protected her. So why? Why did she create an entire life none of us knew about?
The light turned green, and I took a left turn, almost immediately coming into the lot of the shelter. Belle directed me toward the back of the building, and I pulled up directly outside the metal door.
Neither of us moved as I turned the engine off. The clock on the dash told me we were ten minutes early for her shift. Silence stretched between us, but I couldn’t hold my tongue. I couldn’t keep my question inside. “Why?” I asked, turning in my seat to face her. I leaned my arm over the top of the steering wheel, intent on giving her all of my attention.
“Why what?” Belle kept her gaze fixated out the windshield.
“Why didn’t you want us to know?”
The silence swirled around us, but I didn’t make a move to fill it. Over the years, I’d learned you had to give Belle time to think about what sh
e wanted to say. Everyone assumed because she talked so much that she was always ready to say anything, but it wasn’t the truth. It was when she stopped to think that you knew she cared.
“Because…” She huffed out a breath and turned to look at me. Her gaze flicked over my entire face before she finally met my eyes. “You all see me as Belle, the little girl who needs protecting. Baby Belle, Princess Belle. I’m the one you all need to make sure is okay, I’m the one you like to keep close, but it’s suffocating, Ford. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.” Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. “I’m twenty years old, and I had to fight tooth and nail to be able to attend this college, and it’s only five hours away. Do you have any idea the kind of offers I had?”
I shook my head because I didn’t. I’d been away more and more on undercover jobs these last few years. It seemed the older Belle got, the more assignments I was on. “No.”
“I had an offer from Stanford, Ford. Freakin’ Stanford. And you know what Dad said when I told him?” She laughed, but I could tell it wasn’t funny. It was the kind of laugh to mask the hurt you were feeling, and hearing it come out of Belle’s mouth sent goose bumps over my entire body. “He told me it was too far away and that the community college would do just fine.” She threw her hands up in the air. “The community college, for real?” Her nostrils flared. “But if Asher gets offers all over the country, I can guarantee Dad won’t say a word to him. And why is that? Because I’m a girl? Seriously?”
“He’s just tryin’ to look out for you, Belle. You’re his little girl, and it’s—”
“I’m not a little fuckin’ girl, Ford.” Her cheeks reddened, a blush spreading through her that once upon a time I found cute, but right then, sitting so close to her, I found it sexy.
Fuck.
I couldn’t find it sexy. I couldn’t think about her like that.
“I haven’t been a little girl since I lost my virginity to the captain of the football team when I was sixteen years old. I haven’t been a little girl since my dad taught me how to shoot a gun and hit my target.”
I swallowed, feeling my skin get hotter the longer she talked. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t comprehend all of her words, because all I could think about was that goddamn football player touching her. Feeling her soft skin against his palm and taking what she was willing to give him.
“I’m not a little girl, Ford. I’m a woman. A woman who knows her own mind, one who needs space from the people who treat her like she’s only ten years old.” She pulled in another deep breath. “That’s why I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t tell them because they would have told me I didn’t need a job at the coffee shop, that I needed to focus on my studies and not volunteer at the local shelter. But I do need to do these things. I need to be independent. I need to be myself. I need to separate my life from the one I grew up in.”
I stared at her, really stared at her, and for the first time, I saw the woman she was talking about. I saw the fierceness in her eyes, the determination on her face, and I couldn’t stop myself from reaching forward and placing my palm on her cheek.
“I get it,” I whispered, rubbing my thumb back and forth. “I get it more than you’ll ever know.” I pushed my long fingers into her hair. “I’ll always protect you, Belle. That goes without saying, but I’ll try to stop treating you like the little girl you used to be.” My gaze flicked down to her lips. I hadn’t looked at her like she was a little girl since I’d pressed my lips against hers. I’d stopped thinking of her as Belle, Brody’s daughter, since my tongue intertwined with hers. At that moment in the club, she’d become so much more than just Baby Belle, but it didn’t matter, because that was all it would ever be. One moment in time that would never be repeated.
“Thank you,” she whispered as she glanced at the back door to the shelter and then back at me. “We need to go inside now.”