“What else could we do? Neal said—”
/> “ ‘Neal said,’ “Fritz shouted. “Is that all you ever go by—what Neal said? Can’t you think for yourself? Neal said, ‘Let’s rape Jade Sperry,’ so you whip out your cock. If Neal had said, ‘Now cut off your balls and eat them, Hutch,’ would you have done that, too?”
“Well, it’s no different with you and Ivan, is it?”
Fritz almost struck him across the face. He even raised his hand, but then drew it back. The bald truth of Hutch’s words prevented him from delivering the blow. What was he striking out against? Did he want to punish Hutch, or himself and his guilty conscience? Dejectedly, he lowered his hand and hung his head.
After a moment Hutch said, “I’m sorry, Daddy. I didn’t mean that.”
“It’s all right, son. This morning’s no time to dodge the truth, no matter how ugly it is.”
“Did you tell Mama about… Jade?” Fritz shook his head. “Am I going to go to prison?”
“Not if I can keep you out of it. I don’t want another inmate to do to you what you and your friends did to that girl last night.”
Hutch’s large, masculine face crumpled like a baby’s. He began to sob loudly and hoarsely. Awkwardly, Fritz embraced him and patted his back.
“I didn’t mean to, Daddy. Swear to God. I’m sorry.”
Fritz believed him. He even suspected that Hutch had a crush on the Sperry girl and that the last thing he would ever want to do was hurt her. His son didn’t have an ounce of malice in his entire being. Left alone, he would never have committed an act of violence. But he had been with Neal. Neal had been the instigator. He always was. Fritz had seen a calamity like this coming for a long time. He just hadn’t known what form it would take. Never in his wildest imaginings had he predicted that it would be so disastrous.
Neal’s soul was twisted. Ivan had drummed into Neal’s head that he was special, and the boy had come to believe it. There were no barriers between him and self-gratification. What he wanted, he took, and he had never had to account for his actions. Consequently Neal believed himself to be exempt from the laws that applied to other people.
It wasn’t surprising to Fritz that Neal had selected Hutch and Lamar to be his best friends. Primarily, they were the only male classmates who could abide him. Secondly, they had malleable personalities. Never mutinous, they did whatever Neal wanted them to do. They feared him more than they feared any other authority figures, including their parents. Neal had slyly tapped into their egos and their insecurities to keep them blindly loyal and absolutely obedient to him.
Fritz knew Ivan could bury this incident. He had seen his dirty machinations succeed too many times to doubt his power. Even if the case came to trial—and it was highly unlikely it would get that far—the boys would never get convicted in Palmetto County. At least half the jury would be Patchett employees, and Ivan would bribe the other half. Jade Sperry’s reputation would be publicly slaughtered.
No, Hutch wouldn’t go to prison. But a mistake of this caliber didn’t simply vanish in one clean swipe like chalk marks on a blackboard. Fritz had just enough religious conviction to fear Hell. He didn’t particularly believe that it was a place one had to die in order to reach, either. A sinner could live it on earth.
“I reckon you’ll be a whole lot sorrier before it’s all over with, boy. I hate that for you.”
Fritz knew that what he was doing was, in the long run, wrong for his boy and a grievious sin against that girl. His only alternative was to let Hutch’s life be destroyed by one foolish mistake. Could anyone expect that of a parent? That was asking too much. The best Fritz could hope for was that he wouldn’t live to see the day when Hutch would have to atone.
“Just keep your mouth shut,” he told his son. “Don’t talk to anybody about it. The fewer who know, the better. Ivan and me’ll take care of it.”
* * *
In spite of the weak sunshine filtering through high, thin clouds, it was dim and cool inside the house when Jade and Velta returned home. Jade turned up the thermostat. The warm air that began blowing through the ceiling vents smelled like scorched dust.
She moved down the hallway toward her bedroom. From the threshold, she gazed into the familiar room. In the twenty-four hours since she had left it, it had remained untouched. She, however, had been irrevocably changed.
The enormity of her loss crashed against her again like a tidal wave. These attacks of regret were becoming familiar, but they were still so fresh and new that each had tremendous impact. She would have to learn to brace herself for them and cope.
“Jade, would you like me to fix you something? Cocoa? Something to eat?”
She turned and looked at her mother. Velta’s face was composed, but no one was home behind her eyes. She was extending kindness out of necessity. Jade longed for her father, who used to draw her onto his knee and rock her in the creaky old chair. Don’t ever be afraid, Jade.
“No, thank you, Mama. I’ll get something later, after I’ve bathed and dressed.”
“I think we should talk.”
“Do you?”
“Don’t sass me, Jade,” Velta snapped, indignantly pulling herself erect. “I’ll be in the kitchen.” She pivoted on her heel and stalked back down the hall.
Jade closed her bedroom door and stripped off the OR scrubs. She accidentally caught her reflection in the vanity table mirror. Wanting to hide her naked body from her own eyes, she took a robe from her closet and tightly wrapped herself in it.
In the bathroom, she filled the tub with hot water, sank into it up to her chin, then immersed her head. She wished she could take a deep breath, fill her lungs with the scalding water, and end her life.