Dillon shot from his chair. Palms out, he shoved his hands into the rear pockets of his worn jeans and prowled the room as though looking for an easy exit. The violence inside him was frightening in its intensity. He wanted to hit something, smash it, destroy it. Obviously, Jade didn’t notice his reaction. Her horrifying account continued.
“Neal was laughing when he came up on his knees and unzipped his pants. He shoved them down and took his penis in his hand. He said, ‘Nice, isn’t it, Jade? Bet your cunt can’t wait.’ Apparently Hutch began to get worried. He said, ‘Neal, come on, you’ve had your fun. Let her go now.’ ‘Go?’ Neal said. ‘Hell, no, I’m just getting to the fun part.’
“Neal pushed my skirt up. I rolled my hips from side to side, trying to stop him from taking off my pantyhose. He was in such a hurry, Lamar had to help him. Then Neal…”
Dillon had been standing at the window, gazing out sightlessly at the darkening sky. When she stopped speaking, he glanced over his shoulder at her. Her head was bowed over one hand; she was massaging her temples.
Dillon went back to his chair, turned it around, and sat down facing her. He didn’t say anything and somehow resisted the impulse to touch her. His presence alone seemed to reassure her. He took heart in that. She lowered her hand from her face and moistened her lips.
“Neal spat into his hand and rubbed the saliva over himself. He said, ‘I’ll bet you’re good at sucking cock. Don’t you suck Parker’s? I ought to make you do this for me.’ ” She closed her eyes, as though blessedly thankful. “He didn’t,” she said gruffly.
“It wasn’t easy, but he got inside me. I think he was surprised that I was a virgin because he looked into my face and laughed. He leaned over and whispered, ‘Well, glory be. I’m going to get your cherry after all,’ like that was an inside joke between us. Then he…” She bowed her head lower. “He… he pushed hard and hurt me really bad.”
The halogen security lights outside switched on automatically. Some of their blue-white light came though the windows, but for the most part the office was filled with deep shadows and the sibilant sound of her voice.
“I thought it would go on forever. Afterward, I realized that it didn’t take him long at all to climax. As he pulled away, he smeared semen on my stomach. He looked up at Hutch and grinned. ‘I’ve greased the skids for you.’
“They switched places. When Hutch removed his hand from my mouth, I tried to scream again, but I didn’t have the energy. I barely managed to lift one arm. As Hutch bent over me, I scratched his face. He cursed me and put his hand to his cheek. It came away with blood on his fingers. That made him angry. He grunted, ‘Hold her hands, Neal.’ Neal took my hands and held them on either side of my head.
“Hutch was the only one who kissed me. At first I thought that was all he was going to do. His weight nearly smothered me, and he kept poking his tongue deep into my mouth. It made me retch. I was screaming my outrage on the inside, but the only noise I made sounded like a mewling kitten.
“I heard Neal laughing behind me. ‘Will you get on with it, Hutch? Jesus! You’re making me horny all over again. Even Lamar’s getting a stiff one.’ Lamar giggled nervously.
“I did scream when Hutch shoved himself into me. He was twice as rough as Neal. I knew he was tearing me on the inside and making me bleed. I could feel it.”
“Those bastards,” Dillon hissed. In barely controlled rage, he was thumping his fists against his thighs.
“When Hutch climaxed, he arched his back and made this horrible, braying sound. I remember him pulling his lips away from his teeth. He looked so ugly, repulsive. Then he collapsed on top of me. I couldn’t breathe, but I felt his hot breath on my neck. It smelled like beer and made me nauseated, but I was afraid that if I gave in to it and vomited, I would drown in it. So I managed to keep it down.
“Lamar went last. By then I didn’t have the strength to fight. I thought Lamar might cry when he looked down at me. His hands were at his fly, but he hesitated. Neal said, ‘What’s the matter? Let’s see you do your stuff.’ ‘I don’t know if I should, Neal.’ Lamar’s voice was shaky and uncertain. That was characteristic of him.
“Since Hutch had proven himself, he was feeling frisky. ‘Hell, we might have known the little faggot would chicken out.’ ‘I’m not a faggot,’ Lamar shouted. I suppose that even then he was struggling with his sexual ambiguities. He must have realized that he either had to perform or be the brunt of their ridicule, so he… performed.
“When he pulled down his pants, the other two applauded his erection. I know it was Lamar’s first time. He didn’t know where to… He kept ramming into me. It hurt, because I was bruised and sore. Once he got inside, he thrust at me frantically and quickly, like a rutting animal. Sweat popped out on his face. Neal kept cracking jokes and making fun of Lamar’s ‘technique.’ Finally he climaxed.
“He was laughing with relief when he pulled away from me, but the moment he looked into my face, his smile collapsed. I think Lamar realized the extent of what they had done. His eyes silently apologized. But I didn’t forgive him then or when I saw him years later.”
“When was that?” Dillon asked.
She briefly told him about Mitch Hearon’s funeral and Lamar’s unexpected appearance. “I don’t forgive him—any of them—to this day.”
After an extended silence, she raised her head. “Will you pass me a Kleenex, please?” Dillon located a box of tissues on the edge of her desk. He reached for it and handed it to her. “Thank you.”
She didn’t use the tissue to blot her eyes, because, throughout the entire recital, she hadn’t shed a single tear. She used it to wipe the perspiration off her palms.
“Did they leave you out there, Jade?”
“Yes.” She laughed bitterly. “Like a cruel cliché, Neal smoked a cigarette before they left. I remember smelling the sulfur of the match and the burning tobacco. I had rolled myself into a tight ball. At that point, I was numb. I don’t remember feeling pain so much as numbness.
“They discussed what to do with me, and decided that I was resourceful enough to find my way back into town. Lamar asked, ‘What are we going to say if somebody finds out what happened?’ Neal said, ‘Who’s going to tell? You?’ ‘Hell no.’ ‘Then what are you worried about?’
“Hutch asked what they would do if I told. Neal simply laughed. He said I wouldn’t tell because I wouldn’t want my ‘lover boy,’ meaning Gary, to know about it. He said I had asked for it, that I’d been flirting with all of them.
“Of course Hutch and Lamar agreed with him, chiefly because they knew that’s what he wanted them to do, but also to justify to themselves what they had done.
“I don’t believe that Neal has any remorse or feels any guilt. He’s amoral. He has no conscience. He wanted to teach me a lesson for loving Gary instead of him, and he wanted vengeance on Gary for outsmarting him in a silly fight. He saw a way to do both with one act. Because his name is Patchett, he considered it his right.”
“You should have gone to the authorities immediately.”