‘It was an accident. She was not the intended target,’ I tell her. My voice is quiet and calm as if I don’t care, but maybe that is a good thing. It won’t do to fall apart now. I have to be worthy of her.
‘Target? What are you talking about?’ she asks with growing frustration.
‘The bomb was meant for me, but she opened the car door and set it off. It was timed to go off thirty seconds after the door was opened,’ I explained.
‘Where is she now?’ she whispers.
‘She’s in surgery now. If you want, you can come to the hospital.’
‘She’s in surgery?’ she repeats in a daze.
‘Yes.’
‘How bad is she?’
My jaw clenches hard. I loosen it deliberately. ‘I don’t know. She never regained consciousness after the explosion.’
She starts sobbing. ‘This can’t be happening.’
‘Shall I send someone to pick you up?’ I ask.
She stops weeping, her voice suddenly strong. ‘No. What’s the name of the hospital?’
I give her the details, ring off, and put Dahlia’s phone back into my pocket. I should call her family. I know I should, but I don’t. Not yet. It will be better once the surgery is over, and I can give them good news. No need to worry them. There is nothing they can do anyway.
I walk over to one of the couches and sit down. On the wall across from me I see a poster of a human being without skin, all his tendons, muscles and blood vessels exposed. I stare at the image without seeing it. Stella is right. This can’t be real. This can’t be happening.
‘Fuck.’ The word explodes out of my mouth as my hand moves downwards in an unconscious striking motion, venting my frustration and fury.
‘Fuck,’ I shout again.
Noah flings open the door, rushes in, takes one look at me, and goes out quietly closing the door behind him.
‘Shit.’
She didn’t deserve this. Why the hell did she run to the car and open the door? Why? In my mind’s eye I see her face that moment when I called to her and she turned around terrified, then she saw me and her whole face sagged with relief. Relief that I wasn’t in the vehicle. The thought chills me: she knew about the bomb in the car. She thought I was in it and she was running to it to warn me.
Who told her? Who sent her there? I stand up and pace the floor. I stop and run my fingers through my hair.
‘Fuck.’
The door opens and Stella walks in. I stare at her. She must have been really close by. Her face is red and her eyes swollen. She strides up to me. ‘What the hell is going on with Dahlia?’ she demands.
‘She’s still in surgery.’
She shakes her head as if she cannot understand what I am saying or can’t take it in. She is obviously in shock.
‘Sit down,’ I tell her.
She covers her eyes with her palms, her face contorted. ‘I don’t want to sit. I want you to tell me what happened.’
‘She was with you last. Can you tell me if you know any reason that would make her rush to my house and run to my car to look for me?’
She frowns and tries to remember. ‘She got a call from Mark. It was something urgent. I don’t know what it was, but it made her run out of the flat we were in.’
‘Mark?’
‘Yeah, Mark called.’
‘What’s Mark’s last name?’
‘I don’t know. I can’t remember.’
‘Wait here,’ I tell her and walk out of the door. I walk down the corridor and stand by a vending machine. Taking out her phone I scroll down to the last number received, and hit it.
‘Dahlia,’ a man says urgently.
‘No. This is Zane.’
‘Where is Dahlia?’ he asks hoarsely.
I can barely hold on to my fury, but my voice is dead calm. ‘What did you tell her?’
‘Where is she?’ he pleads.
‘She was caught in a bomb explosion, Mark. It was you who sent her right into it, wasn’t it?’
He makes a strange sound of anguish. ‘No, no, no,’ he says. Hearing him break down makes my heart feel like it will explode. He has no right. He has no fucking right. That’s for me to do and I can’t do it, because I have to be strong for her.
‘Why the fuck did you do that?’ I ask, my whole body clenched.
‘I know I shouldn’t have. I acted unprofessionally, but I couldn’t take the risk that she might get caught in the middle of a bomb that was meant for you. I was trying to protect her, warn her.’
‘How did you know about it?’
He hesitates. ‘I can’t reveal my sources.’
I knew then. He was a fucking musor. Pig!
‘I want to see her,’ he says.
‘You come anywhere near her and I’ll fucking kill you. You’ve done enough. Stay the fuck away.’