"I do?"
"Hmm. And it's bloody great."
Blushing, she returned her cheek to his chest. "Well, thanks."
"The pleasure was mine."
"I'm exhausted."
"So am I."
"But I don't want to sleep."
"Me either."
Several moments passed, a time of sweet reflection.
Eventually Tiel stacked her hands on his sternum and propped her chin on them. "Doc?"
"Hmm."
"Are you asleep? Is it all right if I ask you something?"
"Go ahead."
"What are we doing?"
He opened only one eye to look at her. "Do you want the scientific nomenclature, the polite phraseology, or will twenty-first-century vernacular do?"
She frowned at his teasing. "I meant-"
"I know what you meant." The second eye came open, and he tilted his head on the pillow to look at her from a better angle. 'Just what you said earlier, Tiel. We're con vincing each other that we're alive. It's not all that uncommon for people to want sex after a life-threatening experience.
Or after any reminder of their mortality, a funeral for instance. Sex is the quintessential affirmation that you're alive."
"Really? Well that's the most fan-fucking-tastic assertion of the survival instinct I've ever experienced." He chuckled.
But Tiel grew quiet, introspective. She blew softly against the chest hairs brushing her lips. "Is that all it was?"
He placed his finger beneath her chin and lifted it until she was looking at him again. "Anything between us would be complicated, Tiel."
"Are you still in love with Shari?"
"I love the good memories of her. I also hate the painful ones. But, if you're suggesting that I'm fixated on her ghost, let me assure you that I'm not. My relationship with her-good, bad, or indifferent-wouldn't prevent me from having another."
"You'd marry again?"
"I'd want to. If I loved the woman, I would want to make a life together, and to me that means marriage." After a moment, he asked, "What about your memories of John Malone?"
"Like yours, bittersweet. We had almost a fairy-tale romance.
Probably married too soon, aglow with passion, before we really knew one another. If he hadn't died, who knows? Career paths might eventually have led us in different and irreconcilable directions."
"As it is, he'll remain in your memory as the martyred Prince Charming."
"No, Doc. My memory isn't clinging to a flawless ghost either."