‘There’s always a first time for everything.’
There is no anger left inside me. Only an inexplicable excitement fizzling through my veins and making me tremble. My voice when I speak is shaky. ‘See, if it was me, I wouldn’t have engineered a captive audience for my first time.’
‘I’m not you,’ he says.
I take his hand. It’s hard, sure and warm, and he twirls me around and catches me expertly.
I gasp in surprise. ‘You lied.’
‘I said I didn’t dance. I didn’t say I couldn’t dance.’
I glance down at the inert man. ‘Do you think he’s all right?’
‘Nah. He’ll always be an asshole,’ he says in my ear.
I laugh. ‘Where did you learn to dance?’
He pulls me so close to his body I feel it throbbing with vitality and masculine energy.
‘We were taught to,’ he says.
‘Who is ‘we’?’
He runs his lips along my jawbone. ‘Curious little thing, aren’t you?’ he murmurs in my hair.
‘Is it a secret?’
Something flashes in his eyes. ‘The door is closed and you don’t have permission to enter.’
‘Who has permission?’
‘No one.’
‘Isn’t it lonely in your golden castle, Zane?’
‘It’s safe. Anyway, why do you want my secrets? You’ll be gone in a month.’
‘Why does it have to end in a month? What if it’s good? Can’t we carry on and find something that suits us both?’
‘That door is closed Dahlia. Just enjoy this moment. That’s all we have. There is nothing beyond this.’
My body trembles with pain. I feel as if I’m standing in a boat that’s slowly sinking. Soon the water will swallow it all.
‘Nothing?’ I hear my voice ask.
‘Nichego.’ There is a wistful sadness in his voice.
‘Is that Russian for nothing?’ I ask looking up into his face, searching for that corresponding sign of emotion.
He nods.
I press my face into his chest so that I can’t see his eyes. So that he can’t see mine and see how hurt I am. ‘OK. If we truly have nothing after this then why can’t you tell me your secrets? You have nothing to lose.’
‘Ahhhhh, Little fox. Don’t you know, the king is never killed by his enemies, but by his courtiers? By the people he trusted with his secrets.’
‘You think I would betray you?’
‘I don’t know. What do you think, little one? If someone was pulling out your fingernails one by one can I still trust you?’
I shake my head slowly. ‘Probably not.’
‘I’m glad you were honest. I prefer an honest coward to a lying hero.’
We dance, while a man lies inert on the floor. It is the strangest dance I have ever had. A hushed crowd. His minders looking like they are ready for any kind of action. Then the security guards come and pick up the guy on the floor and couples start moving back to dance.
When we get back to the house, I start to move towards his study and he grasps my wrist in his hands. I look up at him.
‘I have other fantasies of you,’ he says.
‘Like what?’
‘Like having you in my bed.’
He takes me upstairs to his room. It’s just like the rest of the house. Beautiful, faultlessly tasteful, and cold. He undresses me and we have sex for hours. He makes me come over and over. Eventually, we both end up on our backs, totally drained.
‘Just give me a minute and I’ll go,’ I whisper.
He turns his head to look at me. ‘I want you to stay.’
Shocked, I stare at him wordlessly.
‘Tell me why you really bought the handbag for Olga?’
I frown. ‘Why do you find it so extraordinary that I bought a handbag for her?’
‘No other woman I know would have done something like that.’
Twenty-one
Dahlia Fury
Your naked body should belong only to those
who fall in love with your naked soul.
– Charlie Chaplin
The next day I meet Stella for lunch at our favorite steakhouse. Noah, who has come along, grins in a very friendly fashion at her. In a way that he has never done with me.
‘How’s it going?’ he asks her.
‘Not bad,’ she replies with a laugh and, going on tip-toes, kisses him soundly on both cheeks.
‘How’s the new masseuse working out?’ she asks with a sly smile.
Noah gives a rough shrug. ‘She’s not as easy on the eyes as you, but no complaints from the boss.’
‘Oh, you big flatterer you,’ she giggles.
They exchange some more small talk then Noah moves and sits a few tables away from us.
I sit down opposite Stella and put the box of shoes on the table, but deliberately put it to one side. I watch her eyes stray towards it. I don’t say anything.
‘Is that for me?’ she asks finally.
‘Yes,’ I say with a grin, and she squeals with delight and pulls it towards her. She opens the lid and, oblivious to all the other diners who turn to stare, screams, ‘Oh my God! Oh my God! They’re so gorgeous.’