She lifted her head. “Why?”
“Like mother, like daughter. Reede always had an edge over every other man with Celina. Who knows why? That’s just the way it was. Chemistry, I think they call it nowadays.” He set his foot on the floor and leaned back against the tufted sofa. “What’s between you two?”
“It’s more than chemistry.”
“So, you love him?”
“Yes.”
He drew a worried expression. “I’ll caution you like a daddy would, Alex. Reede’s not an easy man to love. He has a tough time showing affection, and an even tougher time of accepting it. As old as he is, he’s still bitter about his mama up and leaving him when he was a baby.”
“Is that why he found it impossible to forgive Celina for getting involved with Al Gaither and having me?”
“I think so. He tried not to let on like it hurt him. Walked around here with a chip on his shoulder as big as Texas. He hid his feelings behind that I-don’t-give-a-damn veneer, but he was crushed just the same. I could tell. He didn’t hold it against you, you understand, but he could never quite forgive your mother for cheating on him.”
“What about Junior?”
“Junior couldn’t forgive her for loving Reede more than she loved him.”
“But neither one of them killed her.” She met him eye to eye. “It was you, wasn’t it?”
He stood up and moved to the window. He gazed out on all that he had built from nothing and was liable to lose. The ponderous silence in the room lasted for several minutes. Finally, he said, “No, I didn’t.” Then, turning slowly, he added, “But I wanted to.”
“Why?”
“Your mother played games, Alex. She liked to. When I first met her, she was still a little tomboyish. Things might have gone fine if she’d stayed like that. But she grew older and realized that she had a power over both of those boys—sexual power. She began to use that in her games.”
Alex’s heart began to ache. She scarcely breathed. It was like watching a horror movie and waiting for the monster to finally rear its head. She wanted to see the whole picture, but yet, she didn’t. It would probably be ugly.
“I could see it happening,” Angus was saying, “but there wasn’t much I could do about it. She played them against each other.”
His words echoed what Nora Gail had told her. The temptation was just too strong.
“The older they got, the worse it got,” Angus continued. “The solid friendship between the boys was like a shiny apple. Celina ate away at the core of it like a worm. I didn’t like her very much.” He returned to the sofa and sat down. “But I desired her.”
When Alex was sure her ears hadn’t deceived her, she couldn’t hold back her gasp. “What?”
Angus smiled crookedly. “Remember, this was twenty-five years and thirty pounds ago. I didn’t have this,” he said, rubbing his protruding belly, “and I had more hair. If I do say so, I was still considered a lady-killer.”
“It’s not that I doubt your appeal, Angus, it’s just that I had no idea—”
“Neither did anyone else. It was my little secret. Even she didn’t know… until the night she died.”
Alex groaned his name. The monster of truth wasn’t only ugly, it was hideous.
“Junior stormed out on his way to drown his sorrows in booze. Celina came into this room. She sat right there, w
here you’re sitting now, and cried. She told me she didn’t know what to do. She loved Reede in a way she’d never love another man. She loved Junior, but not enough to marry him. She didn’t know how she was going to raise you alone. Every time she looked at you, she was reminded of the mistake that had changed her future forever.
“On and on she went, expecting me to sympathize, when all I could see was what a selfish little bitch she was. She’d brought all her hardships on herself. She didn’t give a damn how she hurt other people or played with their lives. She only cared about how things affected her.”
He shook his head with self-derision. “That didn’t stop me from wanting her. I wanted her more than ever. I think I justified it to myself because I figured she deserved no better than lust from a horny old man like me.” He took a deep breath. “Anyway, I made my pitch.”
“You told her you… desired her?”
“I didn’t come right out with it, no. I offered to set her up in a house out of town, someplace close. I told her I’d pay for everything. She wouldn’t have to lift a finger, just be accommodating when I could come see her. I expected her to bring you along, of course, and Mrs. Graham, too, though I doubt your grandma would ever have agreed to it. In short,” he concluded, “I asked her to be my mistress.”
“What did she say?”