Maria stood beside a smiling Ben. He was bigger than life and twice as robust as she had remembered. He glanced down at Maria and patted her arm fondly. Carson Wells was there, smiling at Lauren in his kind, sad way. What were these people doing in the Prathers’ parlor?
She searched for another face, missing the notes she was trying to play. She tried vainly to spot a dark, lean face among the others. Whom was she looking for? She didn’t remember. She only knew that she wanted to see that face more than any other. It was important to her, but why? Why? The vision vanished into a nebulous whirl around her and she was alone again.
Later, she was flying down a long corridor. There were pillars lining the sides of the hallway. Her hair was long, so long that if she flew between the pillars, it wound around them like a bolt of fine cloth. It trailed for miles behind her as she continued down the corridor, weaving in and out of the columns. At the end of the hall, she saw a figure dressed in a wedding gown. The face framed in the lace veil was like hers, but not hers. It was her mother.
Mother! she cried silently. Mother, I’m coming. She drew closer and closer to the apparition and gazed at the beautiful face that was almost transparent and yet real. Eyes exactly like Lauren’s gazed back at her with apparent love, and she was suffused with joy. The lovely lips smiled and opened to speak. Though no sound came from them, Lauren understood what her mother was saying.
“Lauren, I’m so proud of the woman you have become. I loved you when you were a baby. I would come into your room at night while you were sleeping and watch you, kiss you, and touch you, marveling at your delicacy and praying for a brilliant future for you. You were such a sweet child. You never caused me any trouble. I’m sorry I had to leave you. I wanted to stay and see you grow up, but I was in such pain, Lauren. Please understand why I had to go when I did.”
“Mother, Mother, I loved you. Did I ever tell you that I did? Did I?”
“Of course you did, darling. Over and over sometimes. I knew that you loved me.”
“I wear your watch over my heart, Mother. Every day. And I look at the picture of you and Father on your wedding day.” She spoke rapidly, trying to cover years in moments. Even as she spoke, her mother began to move away from her, and she wanted to reach out and take hold of her and never let her go away again.
“Mother, don’t leave me, please. I need you.”
“No, Lauren, you have someone else to take care of you now. We’ll have time much later to talk. I’ll be waiting for you, but now I must go.” The image of the woman moved farther and farther away. She couldn’t let her go. She had waited so long to see her, talk to her.
Her arms reached out for her mother, but something held them down. She struggled, but she couldn’t shake off the force that held her back. “
Mother!” she screamed as the beautiful lady vanished.
Once she tried to open her eyes, but the pain prevented her. She could hear muffled voices, but she didn’t know what they were saying. It was so hard to concentrate.
Someone held her hand in both of his. Cool lips brushed her forehead lightly. A thumb caressed her palm. None of this was unpleasant, but she didn’t want to cope with it yet. She slipped back into the region of dreams.
But the dreams were no longer pleasant. She recognized and knew Jared immediately, though he was strange and transformed. He stood in a blinding light, his whole body looking golden, shiny. He was naked except for sandals whose leather thongs wound around his muscular calves up to his knees. He carried a sword and a small, round shield. He looked like a Spartan warrior. His face was chiseled, hard. His sex stood erect and was the only part of him that was pulsing with life. He stood motionless. She approached him timidly, almost frightened by his stern countenance.
He was so handsome. She reached out to touch him, then recoiled in horror. He wasn’t real, not human. He was made of stone, a beautiful carving reflecting the bright light around him.
Behind her came a ghastly laugh that made the hair on her neck rise and crawl. She turned and saw Olivia, her hair radiating from her head like Medusa’s snakes. Her face was ugly and cruel. Lauren screamed, but Olivia only laughed harder, opening her mouth wide.
Lauren screamed again and again, thrashing her arms in an effort to escape those that reached for her. She turned her head wildly from side to side, trying not to look at the beast that stood before her.
Then, again, black oblivion.
* * *
The climb up was hard, but once she started, she couldn’t stop. There, on the other side of the door, was the life she had left on the floor of the cave. She remembered it all now. She had only to open the door, and she would have to face all that she wished to forget. It wasn’t possible. She wasn’t strong enough yet. But she had to come back sometime. Now. She opened the door.
Her eyes took in the ceiling of Jared’s room at Keypoint. The familiar window was there, but the drapes were drawn against bright sunlight she saw around the edges of them. The large wardrobe stood against the opposite wall. Slowly she turned her head. Reclining in the chair at her bedside was Jared.
He wasn’t dead! He was alive. She wanted to shout with joy. She felt a momentary pang of guilt at her happiness, knowing that Rudy must have been the one shot in the cave. Gloria! The children!
But she couldn’t help staring in wonder and love at the man to whom she was married. He was asleep, his hands dangling off the arms of the chair. Lauren remembered seeing one of those hands hanging outside the buggy that carried him to his father’s funeral. It had looked just like that, casual, negligent, yet bespeaking strength. That was so long ago. She looked up at his face and was instantly alarmed. He looked haggard and worn. His cheeks were sunken. Deep lines furrowed across his forehead and down the sides of his sensuous mouth. His lashes rested on dark shadows under his eyes. Several days’ growth of beard stood out from his chin and his clothes were rumpled and stained. What had happened to him? She wanted to smooth the blond-streaked curls away from his brow where they lay limply.
The door to the bedroom opened slowly, and Gloria came through it carrying a tray with a teapot on it. She closed the door behind her and stopped with a small cry when she saw that Lauren’s eyes were open. “Gracias a Dios! Lauren, you are awake.”
Jared bolted out of the chair, trying to assimilate his surroundings after being startled out of an exhausted sleep. He stumbled to the bed and fell to his knees beside it, searching Lauren’s face for signs of pain or delirium.
“Jared?” she sighed.
“Darling.” He held both her hands tightly, as if he would never let them go. “How do you feel?”
Darling? Had he called her “darling”? Maybe she was still dreaming.
“How do you think she feels?” questioned Gloria with amusement, trying to ease the tension she felt building in the room. “She’s hungry and weak, and probably still has a headache.”