He tossed the remainder of his cigar into the flames and, taking down his shearling coat from the hall tree, muttered a sullen goodnight.
“Jared, it’s cold out there. Why don’t you stay here in the house tonight?” Gloria was vexed that her scheme to throw these two stubborn people together for a whole day had not broken down any barriers between them. Instead, it seemed as though more had been raised.
“If I could have my own room back, I would gladly stay. As it is, I don’t care to sleep there. If Lauren gets cold, I’m sure one of the vaqueros would be delighted to warm her bed.”
Lauren bolted out of her chair and flew across the room so quickly that it surprised even her when she stood trembling directly in front of Jared.
She raised her hand as if to strike him, but the arrogant tilt of his chin stopped her. He was daring her to show a bit of temper, and she would not give him the satisfaction. She clenched her fist, but lowered it to her side.
“Why?” she asked insistently. “Why do you persist in tormenting me so? I don’t like this ‘arrangement’ any better than you do. But I don’t forget my manners.”
She turned and marched into the hall leading to the bedrooms. Jared, in spite of his anger, admired the undaunted way she held her head.
Lauren’s limbs felt heavy as she climbed onto the wide bed. She was tired from the long ride to Pecan Creek, and mentally fatigued as well. She was weary of trying to adjust herself to Jared’s moods, of warding off his verbal attacks. His inconsistency had her totally baffled. He was vindictive and abusive one minute, and tender the next.
She wished she had resisted when he had kissed her. What had she been thinking? Nothing. That was the problem. When his arms went around her, warming her, she had ceased to think. She had allowed her senses to take over, relinquished all control to them. He had been so gentle… almost loving.
She buried her face in the pillow—his pillow—and groaned as she recalled the feel of his tongue against hers, the strong hands that had just begun caressing her back when Rudy interrupted them. What would have happened if they had not been seen?
It was no use speculating, for she was still not positive where kisses led. Having been around Gloria and listening to her talk about her relationship with Rudy, Lauren had inferred that whatever it was, it was pleasant. She had fought that mysterious culmination with William. She couldn’t quite imagine it being enjoyable.
But if it had been Jared’s hands on her back pulling away her clothing, how would she have reacted? She blushed in the darkness. She was restless and physically unsatisfied and her body was transmitting strange, unrelenting impulses to her brain.
* * *
Rudy and Jared would leave each morning after breakfast, and return just in time to wash before dinner. The mood in the house cheered somewhat, though Jared and Lauren still treated each other with polite indifference. He asked her permission when he went into his room to retrieve one possession or another. Lauren felt guilty about using the room, but when she suggested that Gloria make a bed for her in one of the children’s rooms, the other woman adamantly refused. No argument could convince her, so Lauren dropped the subject.
She continued to play with and read to the children, constantly delighted by them. With Maria, Lauren shared many quiet moments, listening to stories about Ben and about Jared and Rudy as boys. Maria carefully stayed away from the subject of Lauren’s marriage. The condition of that union grieved her.
“Jared is so reticent about his early life,” Lauren admitted to the older woman one day. “He rarely speaks of his childhood, or schooling, or anything. He won’t tell me anything personal,” she sighed. “I mentioned Cuba to him once. He was reluctant to talk about it.”
Marie shook her small, sleek head sadly. “I’m glad you weren’t here when he came home. Ben, I think, was secretly proud of him for joining the army. Olivia was furious and tried to keep Jared from going. She had friends of her family trying to pull strings, but when Ben found out about it, he stopped her. After the war, when the town made Jared a hero, she acted as if the whole idea had been hers.” Maria sipped the tea they were enjoying while sitting on the front porch. “She’s a very sad, lonely woman, you know,” she added quietly.
“Did he catch malaria while he was there?”
“Yes, but his main injury was psychological. He had a friend whose father owns a ranch west of Kerrville. Alex Craven and Jared had been friends since boyhood. They joined at the same time and were in the same battalion. Alex was killed. Jared felt his death was the result of an error in judgment by the company commander, that his friend was sacrificed for no reason. He still has nightmares about that day in battle. Alex’s death hurt him deeply, but Jared keeps everything inside. He reveals his true self to no one.”
“I’m beginning to think he has no
‘true self.’ Whenever I think I’ve figured him out, I discover some new enigmatic facet of his character,” Lauren said. Who was this man she had married?
“A very good man is there, Lauren. One day you will know him. I’m certain of that.” Maria patted Lauren’s hand as she stood up and went into the room she had shared with Ben, closing out the world by shutting her door.
* * *
“Oh, no! Look what I’ve done!” Lauren exclaimed. She was helping Gloria prepare the evening meal. Opening a can of tomatoes, she was about to empty it into a pot of stew when some of the contents splashed onto her sleeve, spreading a dark stain on the fine fabric of her shirtwaist.
“Better go change quickly and let me put that in cold water to soak,” Gloria said unperturbedly.
“I’ll be right back,” Lauren promised as she hurriedly left the kitchen and rushed into her room. No sooner had she unbuttoned all the buttons down her back and slipped off the blouse than she heard a commotion outside in the hallway. Before she could reach for something to cover herself, the door to the room was flung open and Jared was being pushed inside by Gloria and Rudy.
Lauren forgot her state of deshabille when she saw her husband’s torn and blood-smeared shirt. She suppressed a gasp of horror. “What happened?” she asked on a high, anxious note.
Jared was staring at her, too stunned by her appearance to speak. Or was he numbed by pain? It was left to Rudy to answer her. “Jared and I were restringing some fences that had come down. An ornery length of barbed wire backlashed and caught Jared across the chest. It needs to be seen to.”
“I told you it’s all right,” Jared growled as he was shoved from behind into the room.
“Nonsense,” said Gloria in the same tone she used to her children. “Get out of that shirt and I’ll get the medicine. Lauren, you’d better help him.”