Page 25 of Hidden Fires

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“Somehow we, who loved you as our own, have failed. You were entrusted into our care by your sainted father. We have betrayed that trust just as surely as you have betrayed our love.”

Lauren’s heart ached at seeing her guardians suffer so, but she made no effort to speak then. She glanced at William, who continued to stare at the floor in abject repentance.

Abel closed his eyes for a moment, then said, “Lauren, William told me that he couldn’t live with himself another day without arranging for an immediate wedding. He offers you marriage, not out of guilt, but out of deep and abiding love. I, for one, am grateful—” He broke off and buried his face in his hands.

Witnessing his misery spurred Lauren into action. She flew out of her chair and crouched beside Abel. She placed both hands on his and waited until he raised his head to look at her before she spoke.

“He’s lying, Abel,” she stated simply. “The only time I have been alone with William was last night. He came here while you were gone and tried to kiss and… touch me.” Tears rolled down her face as she recounted the indignities she had experienced.

When she finished her story, she felt William’s hands on her shoulders as he pulled her conciliatorily to her feet. “Lauren, dear, we don’t have to hide anymore. Don’t you see? We will be married and live together. We have sinned. But I’ve confessed my sin to God and Man. If you confess your transgression, you, too, will feel the peace that now suffuses my spirit.”

She jumped away from him, her eyes flashing. “Are you mad? The only thing I’ll confess to is my loathing of you.”

William smiled sweetly at Abel. “I’m afraid she’s overwrought. She wanted to prevent you from finding out about our illicit relations. She wanted to spare you that.”

“Of course,” Abel agreed, staring at Lauren as if he’d never seen her before. “I think the wedding should take place as quickly as possible. Lauren, I appreciate your charity in trying to spare Sybil and me. I will bless this marriage. You will be restored to my family and to the family of God.”

William had won. With satanic subtlety, he had conceived this counterattack, and the Prathers believed him. Abel had spoken of betrayal, but he couldn’t know how deeply she felt betrayed.

She could show them the purple bruises on her arms, but why should she? If William’s seeds of deception had found such fertile soil in the minds of those who should know her and love her better than to suspect her of such depravity, then she wasn’t going to plead her case. Abel was God’s servant, but he wasn’t God. And her conscience was clear.

“I’m not going to marry William. He is lying. And even if he weren’t, I would never marry William Keller.”

Sybil shrieked, and fell back against the cushions once again.

“Lauren, do you wish to heap burning coals of shame upon our heads? Child, please consider us if you don’t consider your immortal soul,” Abel pleaded.

“I have done nothing. I will not be condemned to a life of unhappiness with a man I despise,” Lauren said firmly. “But you needn’t dread the shame my continued presence in your house will bring you. I intend to leave.”

And she had. She left within the week, taking out of the bank what small funds belonged to her.

Her telegram to Ben Lockett sent the morning after William’s conference with Abel caught the cattle baron just as he was arriving in Austin. He hastily replied, and his evident joy at her imminent visit restored her high hopes. She left the Prathers’ parsonage several days later, unforgiven, an anathema. But she was on her way to Texas, and a new life with the family of Ben Lockett.

* * *

The family of Ben Lockett. She was about to become a member of that family. Was she doing the right thing?

Yes, she told herself. She was doing the only thing she could do, short of leaving penniless and without direction. Yes. Her best course was to marry Jared.

His kiss had stunned her, offended her. But where was the disgust she should be feeling? Nausea had kept her awake the night William had kissed her. Why hadn’t she been sickened by Jared’s mouth? All she could recall of his kiss was the sensuous persuasion of his lips and tongue and the protective warmth of his firm embrace.

She rolled onto her back on the bed and covered her face with her hands against the shame she felt. She had enjoyed that kiss.

And she would never forget it. Could she marry the man, live with him, and constantly be reminded of that one fleeting moment of passion? Added to all his other insults, could she tolerate that final humiliation, knowing that he would remember that kiss, too?

On the other hand, she had not yet thought of a palatable alternative. At least by marrying Jared, she would have a goal to accomplish, an obligation to fulfill.

The money seemed insignificant now, but in two years, it could be extremely important. The twenty thousand dollars could mean the difference between living comfortably and destitution. Looking at it strictly from a financial point of view, did she dare pass up an opportunity like this?

And then there was the man, Jared Lockett. No! She wouldn’t think about him, for thoughts of him clouded her ability to reason logically. Somehow they would learn to coexist peaceably. That would be a major accomplishment, but she would take it a step at a time.

She made her decision.

For the remainder of the day, Lauren stayed in her room, trying to still the turbulence of her mind. At dinnertime, she changed her shirtwaist and recombed her hair, securing it better than she had that morning. A cool, damp cloth pressed to her eyes had relieved them of the redness and puffiness of weeping. She felt restored, but her heart pounded painfully as she descended the stairs.

At the dinner table, Olivia stated, almost as an afterthought, “Lauren, the wedding will take place here a week from tomorrow. There will be a select number of invited guests.”

“Very well,” Lauren answered.


Tags: Sandra Brown Historical