She took a step closer, matching her body to his in a way that made the pupils of his eyes contract as if too much light had been let in. "Love me."
"I do, Jenny."
"I mean…" She wet her lips and took the dive. "Hold me. Lie with me. Make love to me tonight."
"Jenny," he groaned. "Why are you doing this?"
"Because I'm desperate."
"Not as desperate as you're making me."
"I don't want you to go."
"I have to."
"Please stay."
"I'm committed."
"Marry me," she whispered against his throat.
"I will, when this is over."
"I need a pledge of your love."
"You've got it."
"Then show me. Love me tonight."
"I can't. It wouldn't be right."
"For me it would."
"For neither of us."
"We love each other."
"So we have to make sacrifices for each other."
"Don't you want me?"
In spite of himself, Hal pulled her closer and pressed his mouth against her neck. "Yes, yes. Sometimes I daydream about what it will be like to share a bed with you and I… Yes, I want you, Jenny."
He kissed her. His lips parted over hers as one hand slid down the curve of her hip. She responded, pressing closer, rubbing her thigh against his. His tongue barely breached the soft damp interior of her mouth before her tongue came out questing. He moaned again.
"Please love me, Hal," she said, clutching at his shirt. "I need you tonight. I need to be held and petted, reassured that what we have is real, that you're coming back."
"I am."
"But you don't know for sure. I want to love you before you go." She covered his lips and face and neck with quick, fiery kisses. He edged away from her, but she wouldn't be stopped. Finally, he gripped her upper arms and pushed her away sternly.
"Jenny, think!" She gaped at him wide-eyed as though she had been slapped. Gulping in air, she swallowed hard. "We can't. It would go against one of the principles we stand for. I'm going on a God-called mission tomorrow and I can't let you, beautiful and desirable as you are, distract me from that. Besides, my parents are right downstairs." He bent down and kissed her chastely on the cheek. "Now get into bed like a good girl."
He led her to the bed and peeled back the covers. She obediently climbed in and he pulled the sheet over her, determinedly keeping his eyes off her breasts. "I'll see you early in the morning." His mouth touched hers softly. "I do love you, Jenny. That's why I won't do as you ask." He switched out the lamp, crossed to the door, and closed it behind him, plunging the room into total darkness.
Jenny rolled to her side and began to cry. Tears, scalding and salty, rivered down her cheeks and into the pillowcase. Never had she felt so forsaken, not even when she had lost her family. She was alone, more dismally alone than she had ever been in her life.
Even her bedroom seemed alien and unfamiliar. But maybe that was the effect of the sleeping pills. Through the darkness she tried to distinguish the shape of the furniture and the outline of the windows, but everything was blurred around the edges. Her perception was dulled by the drug she had taken.