It’s Montana I’m worried about the most. She could definitely be finished with me without a backward glance. It was a low blow, something I shouldn’t have said. The thought of losing Leena working with us after Deke’s stuff, it wasn’t my brightest moment.
“I’ve been at my parents’. How long have you been home?” It’s dark, not just dusk when the sun is setting. I wasn’t sure if I had a reason to go home, and when Dad told me that no matter what, he and Mom never went to bed angry, I knew it was time for me to head to my own house, take a shower, and fix this fuckup I’ve created.
“Not long. I decided to stay at work. A few plans needed some work.” I walk further into the house. Montana is sitting in the corner of the couch, legs tucked beneath her.
“That’s good. Leena alright?” I have no right to be asking her anything, yet I can’t help myself.
“Before or after she locked herself in the bathroom and your brothers couldn’t lure her out even for margaritas for lunch?” Fuck, I guess tomorrow, I know what we’ll all be doing.
“Not our best moment. I’ll talk to her tomorrow,” I respond. I sit down on the opposite end of the couch, desperately wanting to reach for her, taking her in my arms and holding her.
“That would be a good thing.” The stiffness in her body and tone, I know the ball is in my court.
“Asa,” she says about the same time I say, “Montana.”
“You go first.” She resituates herself, somehow folding herself even smaller into the corner. I hang my head, knowing I did this to her, me and my big fucking mouth.
“I fucked up, took my anger out on you even when no one deserved it, not my sister and definitely not the woman I love. I don’t deal with change well, not when it comes to the family fold or Hart Construction and it means losing someone.” I could really use a beer right about now.
“While I can understand that, even seeing where you’re coming from in the heat of the moment, there is nothing in this world I would use against you, especially not my love for you. What you did today, it more than hurt me. Love is given freely without strings attached.” She pauses, swallowing, and there’s no stopping me now. I make my move, moving towards her and reaching for her while startling her in the process.
“Look at me, please,” I beg once she’s in my lap, my hands gliding up her back until they’re tangled in her loose hair. Shit, I love that she wears it down so much.
“I’m not sure I can, so much that I thought I’d come back here, pack my bags, and leave. Go back to my place. But I knew I had to fight for us or at least attempt to. You hurt me so badly, Asa, and you being gone all day without so much as a text, it only made that pit in my stomach sink even lower.” Her eyes are looking down at her hands she has clasped together.
“Montana, I want to apologize to you, assure you that shit like that won’t happen again, but it’s kind of hard when your eyes aren’t where you can see mine.” I could force her with the way I have my hands wrapped in her hair, but I’d rather not do that.
“Fine, it’s kind of hard not to when you say things like that.” Her eyes are puffy and red, the tell-tale sign of how she’s been handling me being a grade-A dickhead.
“Fuck, babe.” I take a deep breath, wanting to kick someone’s ass when in truth it should be me doing it to myself. “I’m sorry, so damn sorry. I’m thankful as hell you didn’t leave, though to be fair, I was only stopping here to take a shower before finding you. Even if you were glugging margaritas, I’d be there. I’ll be a dick from time to time, no doubt about that, but I will never, I repeat and promise with all my heart that I will never throw those words out there like that again.”
I wait, shit, do I wait. Montana isn’t making this easy. Tears are pouring from her eyes. My thumbs move from her hair to sweep them off her cheeks; they’re having a hard time wiping them all away. When she doesn’t say anything, I figure this is it and I fucked it all up.
“Asa?” She says my name like a question. The rasp in her voice, it’s filled with so much anguish.
“What is, Montana? Anything you want, everything I’ve got to give, it’s all yours.”
“If you ever use my love against me, I’m gone, plants and all. Even if we get rid of my apartment. I’ll move in with Leena, and you know how protective she can get.” The light at the end of the tunnel opens, my girl throws out a bone, and I’m not a fucking idiot. I’ll be taking it.