I didn’t really care about what else was going on. I’d gotten the answers I came for. Gianna had not been with him, and I’d venture to guess that she was telling the truth when she said she wasn’t with anyone else. I turned and walked away with my shadows following me out of the room.
GABRIEL
She was asleep on the bed with the kids when I got back to the house. I stood next to the bed, looking down at the four of them, and for the first time since she came back felt like I could truly breathe. Everything had been a rollercoaster ride from the moment she opened the door to her family home earlier, and it was only now that I felt a sense of calm.
I’m not gonna lie; I’m only feeling this way partially because of what I just learned. It had been sticking in my craw the thought that she’d been with someone else. When she’d gone missing all that time, I never let myself imagine it. Even though I knew that she would go on with her life at some point, I wasn’t expecting to be here, so I wouldn’t have had to deal with it.
Now that I know it was all a lie, my next step is to figure out why and who had come up with the ploy. I wonder who had the kind of understanding to realize that I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on anything else while thinking about her engagement. And they were right, whoever it was, because I hadn’t given any real thought to Sicily in the hours since she’d been back except for a short window of time earlier while sitting at my desk.
Not only that, but I don’t seem to have the same drive I had even a day before. Like I’d told Pop, I wanna live, I want to have many more days and nights with my little family, and that need has overridden the other. Now I have to think of ways to get rid of Ricci without getting my hands dirty, which might take some time. The fact that Pop and his new friends have him stashed away somewhere might add to my troubles as well.
I left them on the bed and went over to the computer. Instead of checking the alerts that had come through, I found myself looking up parenting books especially dealing with multiples. I fell down the rabbit hole of everything, baby and toddler, until my eyes started to bleed.
I don’t know if she was aware that I was back since I’d left the light off in here, but I heard one of the babies fussing, and before I could get up to go to him, she was there already. I was halfway out of my seat when I saw something that filled me with awe.
She had the baby in her arms, well, more like he was resting on her lap with her arms supporting him as he nursed. I’m not sure what’s the normal emotion a father should feel when witnessing something like this, but for me, it was an eye-opening revelation. For some reason, that one act showcased for me just how strong she was and how strong she’d had to be to raise my kids on her own for so long.
Though I’m glad there wasn’t a man in her life, I felt sorrow that she’d had to do it alone, that my mother and sisters, my aunt, grandma and Sheila, the whole gang hadn’t been there to rally around her the way they no doubt will in the future for my sisters.
I feel like that’s something else I’d robbed her of, and watching her in the darkness as she hummed to our son and rocked him as he fed made me so damn sad, I could scream. I have a lot to make up for. A lot I will make up for. I went back to my online shopping.
I had to find everything new, then I had to think about their nursery and realized the fact that the guesthouse was not childproof. There were four bedrooms here, all of decent size, but that won’t be enough, not when she starts having more kids. Unless they’re like their aunts who refuse to be separated, then they’ll be needing their own rooms.
I shook my head when I realized where my thoughts were going. We’re a long way from there. Another kid started fussing just about the time she was done with the first, and I automatically went to her to help. She was startled to see me there but passed the baby off without an argument before picking up the next one.
“He needs changing!” I could swear I heard humor in her voice, like a challenge of some sort. I’m sure she thought I would fold, but she has no idea who she’s dealing with. I can fix a Rubik’s cube with my eyes closed; there isn’t much I can’t figure out given enough time.