Once I let that settle in my head and in my heart, the other didn’t seem as important. It’s as if I’d finally given myself the right or the go-ahead to choose something for myself without feeling selfish for it. There’s a joy that had been missing from my life, something I didn’t miss because I never had it.
With her and our babies, I don’t want to feel like I’m on the outside looking in. A distant partaker who never quite feels like I belong. I want it all with them. I want to share in the ups as well as the downs. I want to be more than just a protector and provider; I want everything that comes with being a husband and a dad. And she’d given that to me.
It no longer mattered that she’d kept my kids away from me. I accept my responsibility there. It was I who’d sent her away, so how can I fault her for doing what I asked? Besides, holding onto anger won’t change things. So, I can hold a grudge and make life difficult, or we can start over without all the things that once stood in our way.
It was freeing, liberating to think that way, to let it all go, and once I allowed myself to do that, the picture that began to form in my head was one of happiness for the future. I want to build a life with her and our children, want to experience life with her in a way I never thought possible.
As I fed on her lips, I said a silent prayer of thanks that things had turned out this way. I was willing to put the past two years behind me, to start anew and to show her once and for all that I chose her, that I was willing to make up for not choosing her the first time because of my misguided belief that I wasn’t worthy of her or of the life I now want to share with her and the babies.
There was still a bit of fear in me. Fear that I’d mess up or that I’d somehow fall short, but that fear was tempered with hope. As if sensing that my mind had strayed away from her, she played her fingers through my hair, bringing me back to the here and now, and I wrapped my arms a little tighter around her as I held her in place for my mouth to devour.
I would’ve loved my sweet shy Gianna had she come back to me, but I can’t deny that her new strength is very attractive. When I came into the room after Ma left, my only intention was to give her the earrings and maybe sit and talk for a bit about the future.
But seeing her sitting there looking so relaxed and ripe in the tight blouse that enhanced the shape of her breasts, the way she bit into her lip as she read, and the flash of heat in her eyes when I leaned over to kiss her made me have a change of plans. Just the fact, the realization that she was mine to take, that there was nothing stopping me from having her ever again, unleashed something that I’d held in check.
Now my fingers were covered in her juices as I fought to pull the jeans off down her thighs and her panties soon followed. I lifted her by her ass and brought her to my mouth, sliding my tongue deep inside of her. I spread her legs wider to make room for my shoulders and feasted on her until she came in my mouth.
My cock, which had been leaking and throbbing behind my zipper, sprang free when I wrestled the zipper open and pushed my pants down around my hips. I didn’t have the patience nor the will to push them any further because that would mean having to waste precious time when I could be inside of her.
She moaned and wrapped her legs around my waist while I hissed at the heat of her pink walls that surrounded my cock like a loving glove. She went up and over, treating my cock to the rapid pace clutch and release of her sex. We fed off each other’s lips like two starving wolves, and I ended up fucking her harder against the edge of the divan than intended.
I wanted to give her the soft, bonding love we’d always shared, but instead, our coupling was this tempestuous dual of lust and unbridled passion. The sounds she made as I surged into her sent shivers down my spine. The way her arms and legs held me closer as if trying to meld our bodies together as one and the way she sighed my name just before our lips came together again was enough to bring me close to release.