“He didn’t want to eat dinner,” Julia says. “Asked how much time was left until he was going. Every single hour, he got quiet, and they went to tuck him in.”
“How does an eight-year-old run away from the house in the middle of the night?” Alex asks when she comes down the stairs wearing shorts and one of my T-shirts. Her hair is piled on her head; her face streaked with tears.
“You guys don’t get it. Do you know how many times he’s probably done that during his life? Escaping in the middle of the night,” she says, and I can’t help but put my hand on the counter not to fall. My own memories come back to me. The times we had to leave quickly. The times we had to leave to escape whenever people were coming to find my father but instead would find us. The amount of time we walked around at night not looking at anyone, my mother shielding me with her body the whole time. “This isn’t something new to him.”
“I’m going to be sick,” Alex says, putting her hand to her stomach, and Max goes over to her.
“He’s going to be fine,” he tells her, taking her in his arms.
Julia’s phone rings in her hand, and everyone stops what they’re doing to look at her. “Hello.” She puts the phone to her ear. Looking at us, she shakes her head and walks out of the room.
“I have to get out there,” I say, walking to the stairs and running up them to the bedroom. I slip on a T-shirt and grab my running shoes, then run down the stairs.
“Where are you going to go?” My father waits for me at the bottom of the stairs.
“I have no idea, but sitting here doing nothing isn’t going to help him,” I reply, putting on my shoes.
“If you’re going, I’m going,” Alex says, and I walk to her and take her face in my hands. She looks into my eyes, fighting back the tears that want to come out, but it’s a losing battle.
“You need to stay here with Julia in case they call,” I explain, using my thumb to wipe her tears away.
“But what if you find him and I’m not there?” she says. “What if he thinks I don’t love him?” Her head falls forward as I pull her into my arms. Her body shakes with her sobs. “He must be so scared.”
I kiss the top of her head. “We are going to find him,” I assure her, taking a step back. “I promise you that.” I hold her face in my hands again. “I’m going to go and get our boy.”
Chapter 33
Alex
He kisses my lips one more time before he turns and runs out of the room with his father and Michael behind him. My father is there when my legs give out to catch me before I hit the floor. The only thing I can see in my head is Maddox the last time I saw him. I can even hear the sound of his laughter if I close my eyes tight enough. “It’s going to be okay,” my father says. The front door opens, and I watch, praying and hoping that it’s Julia telling me they found him.
But instead, my mother and aunt Caroline stand side by side looking at me. Mac runs over to me all excited but must sense something is wrong because she just lies next to me with her chin on my leg. My hand’s rubbing her head when Matthew comes in behind them, “What’s going on?” Caroline is the first to ask me in almost a whisper, and my mother slides her hand into hers for emotional support, not sure herself what is going on. “Where is Justin?” she asks and the worry fills her face.
“He’s fine,” my father reassures her. “He’s gone to look for Maddox.”
“The little boy?” my mother asks, and I look up at my dad, my head spinning around and around, trying to make all the plans.
“I need a lawyer.” I look at my father, whose arms fall away from me. “I need a lawyer, a good one.” I walk over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water. “I need to stop crying because that isn’t going to help find Maddox.” My hand shakes as I unscrew the top of the water bottle and take a small sip. The cold liquid runs down my throat, but it still feels dry. “I’m going to adopt him,” I tell everyone in the room. I’m not sure how many are surprised by this news, but none of them says anything. Instead, they give me a chance to continue talking, knowing I’m not finished. “When they find him, I’m going to need a lawyer to help me fight for him.”