“I can show you,” Dylan says, walking toward the monkey bars. I sit down with Mac sitting right beside me at the edge of the park on the grass, watching Dylan teach him how to get across. He tries his hardest with his little arms to go across, and every single time, he makes more and more progress. Kids play around them, but Maddox is focused on the task at hand.
Nothing can prepare me for when he finally makes it across. I get up from the grass when he goes halfway, my body tense as he moves from one bar to the next. You can see the pain in his eyes as he almost slips, but his other hand finds the steel bar again. “Come on,” I mumble under my breath as he makes it through to another bar.
Finally, he gets to the last one, and when he reaches for it, I throw my hands in the air in celebration for him, then I put my hands on my head when I see him struggle with the other arm. I can hear Dylan’s voice softly encouraging him as he puts his hand behind him to help in case he falls. “You can do it,” he says to him. “Just focus.” When he reaches forward, his hand grabs the last bar, and his mouth goes into the biggest fucking smile I have ever seen on him. When his feet touch the bar, Dylan grabs him and hugs him so big. Maddox’s arms just fall to his sides, not sure what to do, and I have to sit down at the thought that no one has ever hugged him. Dylan must sense this and puts him down as he runs over to me.
“I did it,” he says with a smile. “All by myself.” Mac nudges Maddox’s hand with her head, making Maddox pet her.
I hold up my hand to high-five him, and he slaps my hand. “You did it, buddy,” I say, my chest so full and so proud of him. I blink away the tears that are stinging my eyes and sniffle. “It’s time to head back.” I get up, dusting off the sand from my jeans and waiting for Dylan to walk to us. He slips his hand in mine as we walk back to the bags and load up the car. Mac gets in beside Maddox and sits next to him, watching out the window.
Neither of us says anything as we get back to the arena. Julia is there waiting for us with a smile. “Sorry we’re late, we got hung up at the monkey bars,” I apologize, looking down at Maddox to see if he is going to smile, but his shield is back in place.
“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Dylan says to him, and all Maddox does is nod at him. Julia leads him back out toward her car, and when I look at Dylan, all he does is shake his head. “Are you done for the day?”
“Yeah.” I look around, and everything appears to be in order. If it’s not, they will call me.
We get back in the car and I look out my window as we make our way home. When we get into the house, Mac gets out of the car and walks right toward the back door. I watch her walk outside and finally turn around. “My stomach hurts.” I put my hand on my stomach. “Like it hurts knowing that he isn’t here with us.”
“I know,” Dylan says softly, sitting down. “I was thinking the same thing.” He runs his hands through his hair.
“It’s crazy, right?” I ask him. “Everything that is happening. The need to protect him. The need to make sure he goes to bed happy. The need to make sure he eats properly. The need to make sure that he feels loved.” I shake my head. “I …” I start to say, but I’m at a loss for words.
“I know,” Dylan agrees. “I know.”
Chapter 30
Dylan
“Hey,” I greet when I see Julia the next day. All night, I tried not to think of what Maddox was doing, but as soon as I closed my eyes, all I saw was his face. Then his words would echo in my ears. I can’t even imagine what he went through. I thought I went through shit when I was growing up, but at least I had my mother to protect me and show me love. He had no one, and the thought alone cuts me off at the knees.
“Hi,” she says, looking down at Maddox. “Someone was excited about getting here today. He woke up extra early.”
I smile and squat down. “You ready to hit the ice?” I ask him, and for the first time, I can see a little light in his brown eyes as he nods. “Why don’t you go say hi to Alex, and we can go upstairs and have breakfast? I’m starving.”