I run my hands over my face and through my hair, holding on to my neck. My heart is beating so fast in my chest I don’t know if I can even talk right now. “What the fuck are you doing?” he asks me when he gets closer to me, and I turn to sit on the beach because my legs give out on me.
“I’m …” I look into the dark of the night at the water. I don’t even know what to say to him. I try to think of anything to say. “Thinking about what I’m going to do.” My stomach burns as I sit here not able to go after her. And if I’m honest, she would have pushed me away if I went after her. She would not listen to me, and she would spin it to me, just saying that I loved her back to just say it. No, I know her enough to know she needs to settle down before I tell her anything.
Michael sits next to me, and I wish I could tell him I want to be alone. I wish I could be like get the fuck out of here, or better yet, I wish I could tell him I’m in love with his sister. But how do I even say the words? Also, before I tell him, I need to tell her. We need to talk about this.
Chase comes out and walks toward us. “Don’t go in there.” He points at Michael’s villa. “They said to get the fuck out and not to disturb them for the rest of the night.”
My stomach burns so much looking over my shoulder. “I’m going to go and make sure Alex is okay.”
“She’s fine,” Chase says, sitting on the other side of me. “She said to tell you that she’s fine.”
I don’t know what Michael and Chase talk about nor do I know how long I sit out here. Finally, I get up and dust my pants off. “I’m going to get dinner in my room,” I say to them. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.” I walk away from them toward my villa. My eyes go to Michael’s villa as I walk by and I try to see the light coming out from the living room and the shades are closed.
Walking into the cold villa, I see the light in her room is off and the door open. I walk to the doorway, hoping by some miracle she is lying in bed, but all I can see is the empty bed in the darkness.
I walk back over to the couch and sit down, running my hands over my face. Her words replay over and over in my head. She’s in love with me. The minute she admitted she was in love with me, I couldn’t believe what was happening. I was shocked and then I waited to make sure I heard her right. My heart was beating so fast in my chest as it soared and all I wanted to do was claim her mouth and stop her from talking. I leave the light off all night long, knowing it might make her not come here if she thinks I’m up. The whole night all I can do is replay the whole thing over and over again in my head. How she looked so sad telling me how she felt, how she shed those tears, and the pain I felt in me to watch them fall, not being able to wipe them away for her. Knowing she was crying because of me, gutted me.
I put my head back on the couch as I wait for her, but when I open them up again, I see the light coming in from outside as the sun is shining high in the sky. Rubbing my face, I check the clock on the desk and see it’s past 9:00 a.m. I get up and walk over to her bedroom, and my body turns cold as ice when I see that her luggage is gone. I turn and rush out of the villa, going straight to Michael’s. I knock on the door once and then walk in.
“Hello,” I say, frantically looking around, and Julia comes out of her bedroom. Her eyes spot me as she glares at me. Okay, so she knows. “Where is she?” I ask, looking around for any sign of her. “Alex!” I yell and push my way past Julia into her bedroom, seeing the bed not made but her luggage isn’t there. “Where is she?” I walk back out, and she just stands there folding her arms over her chest. “I’m not playing, Julia, where the fuck is she?” I say as calmly as I can, but it comes out harsh with my teeth clenched together. My whole body feels like it’s going to explode.