She looks down and then looks back up with tears in her eyes. “Brutal.” She stops talking when the waitress brings over two glasses of whiskey and puts one down in front of me.
I just smile. “I’ll have a glass of wine, please.” I slide the second glass over to Julia, who takes her glass and brings it to her lips.
“I don’t think I will ever get over that little girl’s blood-curdling screams.” She looks down at her glass, spinning it in her hands. “Anyway, tell me something new.” She shakes her head. “Take my mind off it, please.”
“Well, we selected twenty kids to get in the program.” I smile happily.
“You have no idea what that will do for some of these kids,” she says. “They are usually handed the short end of the stick and”—she takes a sip of her drink—“some end up a product of their environment because they know nothing else.”
“I don’t know how you do your job,” I say. “After going through the files and reading their backstories, I wanted to give it to each and every single kid.”
She takes another drink. “Just remember you can’t save everyone.” She laughs bitterly. “No matter how much I remind myself of that every single time I get a file. The younger they are, the easier it is, but sometimes, you get a fourteen-year-old who has been through more than I can even put into words and looks at me like I’m just another person coming into their life.” She takes a sip. “The woman who died today.” She looks at me. “She was in the system herself and got pregnant at fourteen.” She rubs her face. “It makes me so thankful for what I have.”
“We are very privileged.”
“Okay, this is a little bit depressing,” she says. “Let’s talk about our family vacation.” She laughs. “Can I just say how crazy it is that I consider myself family?”
I laugh at her. “You are family,” I insist. “My father thinks you’re his daughter. Sometimes, he counts you before me.” She just smiles. “And we leave in two weeks to go to Hawaii.” I put up my hands.
“I can’t wait.” The light returns to her eyes. “Two weeks of sun, sand, and activities.”
“I want to do the sunset cruise, and then I want to do the paddleboarding, and then maybe I’m going to try surfing,” I say excitedly.
“So you are going on an Instagram vacation.” She laughs, and I roll my eyes.
“It’s Hawaii. I just looked up the hotel.” I use finger quotes. “It’s insane! I’m not going to admit it to Matthew, but he did good.”
“I caved, and I’m going to stay with Michael and Jillian. To help with the kids.”
I open my mouth, shocked. “We were supposed to be roommates.”
“You can room with Vivi.” I shake my head.
“No, she promised Emma and Mia.” I put my head back and groan.
“It’ll be good. You can share with Dylan.” I look down and try not to show anything as my head starts to spin.
“He’s already here.” I try to sound chipper about it, but instead, my heart starts pounding so hard in my chest I can only hear that in my ears.
“When did he get here?”
“Yesterday.” I try to change the subject as the tears start to sting my eyes. The burden of having no one to talk to starts to eat at my stomach. “I have to tell you something,” I say, my voice going soft. The waitress brings over my glass of wine. I smile at her and blink away the tears, but one falls, and I wipe it away.
Julia reaches her hand across the table and puts her hand on mine. “What is it?” she asks, her own eyes filling with tears.
“Oh my God,” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat and taking a sip of wine. “I don’t know if I can say it out loud.” I try to smile, but the tears continue to fall. “Because if I say it, it’s like out there in the universe.”
“Oh my God.” Julia puts her hand to her mouth, and her own tears come. “Whatever it is, it’s going to be fine.”
I’m terrified to finally admit this to anyone, but I’m going to get over it. “I’m in love with Dylan,” I admit softly. I watch her eyes to see if she looks at me with disgust or shock. What I’m not expecting is for her to throw her head back and laugh.
“Oh, good God.” She takes her hand off mine, putting it on her chest. “Jesus, thank fuck.” She grabs her glass and downs the rest of the whiskey. “I thought you were going to tell me you were dying or you had cancer.”
I look at her, surprised. “Aren’t you shocked? Maybe you didn’t hear me. I’m in love with Dylan.” She just stares at me. “Like Dylan Dylan.”