And for that, I will never stop being grateful.
EXTENDED EPILOGUE
TEN YEARS LATER…
Tara
I stare out at the city in front of me. I’m standing at the top of the Empire State Building, admiring the view. I’ve never been to New York before, even though it’s never been too far out of reach. I guess in the last ten years, things have just been too crazy to make casual trips away just the two of us.
Having a big family has left little time for anything else, but I wouldn’t change that for the world. I love having a horde of kids - five to be exact. But for tonight, I’ve left them at home with their grandpa so that I can have some alone time with Nate.
It’s rare we’re ever alone anymore, so for our ten year anniversary, it only feels right that we have a night to ourselves to do something special.
This trip was Nate’s idea. It’s only a short flight away from home if anything goes wrong, but it’s also an adventure. All this time, that’s what I’ve been seeking. Adventure. Fun. Excitement. And this ticks all of the boxes.
“Do you like the view?” Nate asks, wrapping his arms around me from behind. I turn around to look at him with a smile.
“I prefer it now.”
“So smooth,” he says, leaning in to kiss me. Sparks jump between us as our lips meet. Even all these years later, the excitement is still so evident between us. We haven’t lost any of our passion, even as our bodies have changed and our lives have continued. Our love has always been the one constant thing in our lives.
As the kiss ends, Nate watches me with a little sadness in his eyes. He does that sometimes when he looks at me, and I’ve never been able to figure out why. I lean in close to him, holding his body against mine.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” he says. “I just sometimes…wonder.”
“Wonder what?”
He sighs. “I sometimes wonder. Did I hold you back?”
I look at him in disbelief. “What are you talking about?”
“I mean, you had so much thirst for adventure when we met. You had so many places you wanted to go to…and you have been to some but not all of them. I promised you that I’d take you to all of those places, but when we had the kids…well, your plans were derailed. And I wonder, when I got you pregnant, did I stop you from doing all the things you dreamed of?”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I’ve never heard Nate express this before, but now I wonder how long it’s been playing on his mind. I reach up to touch his cheek gently, cupping it in my hand.
“Nate, I don’t know where that ridiculous thought came from but of course, you didn’t hold me back. You’ve given me the best ten years of my life, baby. Everything started with you. I know that our plans changed, but I got one thing wrong about life. When I went looking for adventure, I thought that meant seeing the entire world. I thought that meant jet-setting and partying and doing things that you can’t do at home. But I was so wrong. The biggest adventure in my life has been having children, maintaining our marriage, and building a life. I could never have predicted it would be that way. I knew I wanted kids, but I thought I needed everything else too to be happy. But I don’t think those things would satisfy me anymore. Being away from the kids for a few nights is hard enough. I would never want to leave them to travel. Maybe when they’re old enough, they’ll travel with us, but until then, I am the happiest woman alive. Don’t ever think that you took anything away from me, Nate. I wouldn’t have this life without you. I’m so grateful to you, for all of it. And I love you so damn much.”
I feel Nate sigh in relief.
I guess it really was something that played on his mind. But he doesn’t need to worry anymore. Now, he knows that it’s him that makes me happy. It’s not our endless money or our big house or our ability to take trips like this. It’s him. It’s his kind heart. It’s the children he gave me. Those are the keys to a good and happy life.