Now I was lying in his arms wondering why I wasn’t freaking out and wondering if I should start to.
Pike pushed some of my hair back from my neck, fingering it, twisting the strands around his fingers. Like he was fascinated by it, by me, every piece of me. It was so different from the way that Carter had been looking at me, like I was a piece of meat to him, a conquest. Pike was staring at me like even a bit of me was beautiful to him, like he was a little bit in awe of me.
I wanted him to stare at me like that for the rest of my life.
Pike nudged my nose with his, smiling at me. I smiled back before I could stop myself, feeling warm and helplessly caught in his gaze, feeling content for the first time in… possibly ever. I couldn’t remember when I’d ever felt this way.
“So,” Pike said, brushing his lips against my nose now, and then against the curve of my cheek, his fingers now tracing the line of my shoulder, “I think that it’s obvious we really can’t fight this thing between us.”
I was tempted to say something sarcastic. To put up walls by being sassy. It was how I did everything else, after all. I snapped and raged at Morgan, I even got defensive and snarky at Michelle, the one person I always knew I could open up to. But Pike was looking at me with this open, vulnerable sort of expression in his eyes, and I realized that he wasn’t asking me to step out onto thin ice. He was the one standing on the thin ice, he was the one who was in danger of falling through to the icy water. He was asking if he could join me on the solid, dry land.
“It’s staring us in the face, Billie,” Pike went on. His fingertips traced my cheek before he settled his hand against it. It felt like his bones fit perfectly to mine, almost like we were puzzle pieces finally falling into the right place. Damn I was getting sappy. “I want you. And I know that you want me, even if you want to keep denying it.”
The thing was, I didn’t want to keep denying it. I was so tired of doing that. I wanted to do what I had done the night of the kegger and give into my desires, just go for them. Everything else had fallen apart afterwards but for that night? For that moment? Everything had gone perfectly.
But what I wanted didn’t always fit with reality. And the reality was that I wasn’t the only girl in Pike’s life. “I’m not going to be your side piece,” I told him. “Your—alternate, or whatever.”
Pike stared at me, looking genuinely confused, his brow furrowed. “What are you talking about? Alternate?”
I was going to roll my eyes and snap at him for it, but I realized that—he actually looked confused. Like he didn’t know what I was talking about. But how could he not? “You’re dating Amber,” I told him. “Everyone saw you at the country club.”
Understanding lit up Pike’s face and to my surprise and annoyance he looked… amused. What the fuck was amusing about this?
“I’m sorry.” Pike was grinning but shaking his head. “I shouldn’t be laughing, sorry, that’s—it’s just that it’s not true. Um.” He tried to get his smile back under control but only seemed partially successful. “I’m sorry. I’m only pretending to date Amber, actually. I thought that I didn’t have any chance with you and she needed my help, so I agreed.
“She’s got this other boyfriend, rich, good family, all that shit but he was kind of a problem at the country club so her parents don’t want her to marry him. She asked if I could pretend to be her boyfriend and remind her parents of how much they hated me and how much worse she could do, in their eyes. I went to the club, caused some trouble, made sure everyone saw us, and the gossip mill did its work.”
Okay, I had to admit, that was a little funny. I could see Pike having a lot of fun with that, enjoying making all those stuck up rich people quake in their boots.
“How do I know that I can trust you?” I pointed out. “I want to trust you, but, you left. For four years. And you didn’t tell anyone where you were going. How can I believe that you’re telling me the whole truth now?”
“At least give me a chance.” Pike took my hand, kissing my knuckles. “I know that it’s a crazy thing that I’m doing, but it’s just to help Amber out. It’s not real. I don’t want her or anyone else. I just want you. And as soon as Amber’s convinced that her parents are ready, we’ll have some awful public break up and then she’ll get to marry her guy and I can openly be with you.” Pike interlocked our fingers, his eyes staring right into mine. I couldn’t look away, even as his gaze left me breathless. “I only want to be with you, and I’ve been saying that—trying to say that—this entire time. Maybe you’re right, and you can’t trust me, and I disappoint you. But you don’t know until you try, do you? All I’m asking is that you give me a chance, that you give us a chance, that you give us an honest try.”