CHAPTER8
Kim’s heart felt as if it were going to pound out of her chest. She hadn’t realized Justin had come upstairs. He’d disappeared downstairs as soon as he’d filled his plate with food over an hour ago and she hadn’t seen him since. After her brother headed down as well, she thought she could breathe a sigh of relief. Apparently, she’d been wrong. Now she was standing in the hallway outside the bathroom with less than two feet between them.
Their gazes met for a long moment before he stepped out into the hallway. His broad shoulders seemed to take up too much space and her body reacted to the proximity. He was wearing one of those long-sleeved T-shirts that molded to every one of his muscles.
His gaze dipped down to linger on her mouth and her lips began to tingle at the memory of him kissing her. When he looked at her again, there was a heat in his eyes that told her he was remembering, too.
The air around them felt charged as they stood staring at each other. She wanted to touch him, but that was dangerous. Anyone could see them...especially her brother...and she didn’t want to cause a rift between Mark and Justin. Mark wasn’t exactly known for being accepting of Kim’s boyfriends.
Not that Justin was her boyfriend. They’d had one night together. A night she’d begged him to give her, to show her what it would be like to submit to a Dom. He’d given her that. He’d opened her up to the world of Dominance and submission and made her realize what she’d been missing in her past relationships.
Justin cleared his throat. “Bathroom’s all yours.”
Kim swallowed. “Thanks.”
Neither of them moved.
She had no idea how long they stood there. Eventually, their bubble burst when her brother’s voice filled the hallway less than five feet from them. “There you are,” he said, his words slurred. “I thought you were bringing me another beer.”
Justin shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to face Mark. “Had to take a leak.”
Kim watched as Justin and Mark turned and walked away, leaving her standing in the hallway alone. Justin didn’t look back. Not that she’d expected him to. They weren’t a couple. It was just sex. She was going to have to figure out a way to forget about it.
There were plenty of fish in the sea, right? She could find another Dom who made her feel like Justin did. One who sent her heart racing with one heated look. She just had to keep looking.
Even as she tried to convince herself, she feared it wasn’t true. She’d been a member of the club for almost three months now and the closest she’d come to feeling anything like what Justin sparked inside her was when she’d watched a scene between one of the female dominants, Beth, and her submissive, Drew. It was as if Kim could feel the connection between them...feel the pull they had toward one another.
Kim finished up in the bathroom, then ducked into her old room. She needed a minute...or two.
Her old room hadn’t changed much since she’d moved out. Her bed was still there and so were some of her old posters. The only addition were some boxes stacked by the closet.
Kicking off her shoes, Kim climbed onto her bed and closed her eyes, trying to focus her breathing like her yoga instructor was always telling her to. Slow breath in. Slow breath out. Slow breath in...
Five minutes later and she didn’t feel any better, so she did the only other thing she could think of. She called Ali.
Her friend didn’t bother with a standard greeting. “What happened?”
“Hello to you, too.”
“Hi,” Ali said. “And you didn’t answer my question. What happened? Did you and Justin end up having crazy monkey sex on your old bed?”
Kim snorted. “No, we didn’t have crazy monkey sex.”
“Plain old vanilla sex, then.”
Kim rolled her eyes. “No sex.” At least, not tonight anyway. Ali didn’t know about the night Kim and Justin had spent together. One of the few secrets Kim had ever kept from her best friend.
“Bummer.” Ali sounded disappointed.
Deciding it was a good time to change the subject, Kim directed the conversation to less dangerous territory. “How’s your mom doing?”
“She drank two bottles of wine and passed out on the couch.” Ali sighed. “Not exactly the fun-filled New Year’s celebration I’d been hoping for.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m used to it.”
Unfortunately, Kim knew that was true. “So does that mean she’s crashing at your place until she finds the next guy?”
“Probably. It’s not like she has anywhere else to go.”
Ali’s mom didn’t have friends she could turn to because she tended to burn any friendships she developed at the whim of whatever guy she was dating. On the flip side, Ali was overly cautious when it came to relationships. Kim and Ali had been friends since their freshman year of college and Kim could count on one hand the number of guys Ali had dated in that time.
The two talked until a knock on her bedroom door brought Kim’s attention away from the phone. It was her mom. “Everyone’s gathering downstairs for the countdown.”
Kim glanced at the clock. Sure enough, it was almost midnight. “Thanks,” she said to her mom as she began scooting off the bed.
“I’ll let you go,” Ali said.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year.”
Kim disconnected the call and tucked the phone into her pocket. The call had worked. She was feeling more like herself again.
By the time she made it downstairs, everyone was facing the television, watching the host as the clock counted down the last seconds of the year. Her dad came up beside her and handed her a glass of champagne as everyone in the room joined in with the countdown.
Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...one!
Fireworks filled the skyline on the big screen television as everyone screamed Happy New Year before taking a drink of their champagne.
“Happy New Year, sweetheart.” Her dad placed a kiss on her cheek.
“Happy New Year, Dad.”
The room joined in as the host led everyone in Auld Lang Syne. By this point in the night, almost everyone was tipsy. People were signing at the top of their lungs, hugging and kissing each other to celebrate the start of a new year.
Several people pulled her into their embrace and most kissed her on the cheek before moving on to the next person. The atmosphere was full of joy and hope.
She saw her mom and went to go wish her a Happy New Year, but before she could get across the room, someone bumped into her. The man turned around, brushing his arm against her breasts. With the way her body reacted, she knew who it was before their eyes met.
It was the hallway all over again. Time seemed to stop as they stared at each other before someone else bumped into Justin, seeming to break whatever trance they were in. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, the same as at least a dozen other people in the room, but unlike those other kisses, when Justin’s lips touched her skin, she felt it all the way in her belly.
“Happy New Year,” he whispered before turning on his heel and walking away.
Taking a deep breath, Kim forced her feet to move. She found her mom and pulled her into a tight hug, needing the comfort of her mother’s embrace. “Happy New Year, Mom.”
“Happy New Year, honey.”
Her mom didn’t say anything about the extra-long hug, of course that could have had something to do with her brother. As soon as she’d released her mom, Mark came up behind her and lifted her off the ground again. “Happy New Year, Sis.”
He was talking way too loud and she could smell the beer on his breath. “Happy New Year to you, too. Now put me down.”
Mark laughed but lowered her feet to the floor again.
Justin stood in the corner, watching Kim, Mark, and Belinda. The Langleys had been good to him. He’d lost count of how many nights he’d stayed over during the last two years of high school. And when his parents had moved out of state when he was eighteen, Davis and Belinda had gone out of their way to make sure Justin was doing all right on his own.
He and Mark had met on the first day of football practice and they’d hit it off right away. Before long, Justin was spending more time at the Langleys’ than he was at his own home. He ate meals with them and even tagged along on a vacation to Florida the summer before their senior year. They treated him like family.
Mark was the brother Justin never had, but the feelings Kim evoked in Justin were anything but sisterly. She was only fourteen when they first met and shy. He’d thought she was cute, but to be honest, he’d been more focused on sports at the time. Sports and cars.
But as time went on, the way he looked at her began to change, and by her sixteenth birthday, Justin was reminding himself daily why he couldn’t make a move on her. That didn’t mean he didn’t notice everything about her down to how her glasses would slip down to the tip of her nose while she was reading and she wouldn’t notice until they were on the verge of falling off. He’d wanted to be the one to push them back up or take them off altogether so he could look into her eyes, but he’d been a good boy and kept his hands to himself.
It had been easier once Kim graduated from high school and left for college. He didn’t see her as much and threw himself into achieving his own goals for the future. Sure, he saw her when she came home to visit, but she’d often bring a friend with her and it was easy enough to keep his distance.
For seventeen years, he’d been a downright saint when it came to Kim Langley. A saint until she’d shown up at his home and knelt naked on his living room floor, offering herself to him on a silver platter. He should have said no, but years of attraction and longing had convinced him to give in just once.
It had been a huge mistake. Before, he’d only imagined what it would be like to sink his cock deep inside her and hear her moan and gasp as he pumped into her sweet pussy. He’d thought that was torture enough, but he’d been wrong. His body knew what being with her felt like and it wanted more. He wanted more.
An hour later, people began to head off for the night. Many lived in the neighborhood and were able to walk home. Some called for rides as they’d drunk a little too much to get behind the wheel. Except for a few sips of champagne at midnight, Justin had stopped drinking over three hours earlier. He lived too far to walk and there was no way he was crashing at Davis and Belinda’s. Having Kim sleeping under the same roof was too much of a temptation.
Justin pulled into his driveway a little before two in the morning. The street was quiet other than some dogs barking. In his twenties, he’d lived in a loft downtown and he’d loved it. He could walk to bars, restaurants, and clubs. It was great.
But he wasn’t twenty anymore and his life had changed quite a bit from that of a randy twenty-year-old who was out looking to get laid. He’d learned that quality was more important and quantity when it came to sex. That’s not to say he was a monk or anything, because that wasn’t the case, but he was more discerning with his partners than he used to be.
Of course, thinking about his sex life brought his thoughts back to Kim. He could still feel her there. Still smell her perfume wafting in the air if he closed his eyes.
Justin needed to get over her and move on with his life, but he had no idea how. Two weeks ago, he’d taken a sub upstairs at the club to play, something he hadn’t done since being with Kim. The scene went all right. He’d taken care of his sub, but there had been a disconnect for him. He couldn’t get into the right headspace no matter how hard he’d tried and he knew why.
Stripping off his clothes, Justin headed into the shower. He was hoping the warm water would help to relax him and make him sleep.
The spray cascaded over his broad shoulders and down his torso. He tipped his head back into the water before reaching for the shampoo.
As he lathered his head, Justin tried to figure out what he was going to do about the one woman he couldn’t have but couldn’t stop thinking about. There was no easy answer he could come up with and her being at Serpent’s Kiss complicated things.
The way he saw it, he had three options, and none of them were great. He could keep ignoring her as he had been, which didn’t seem to be working all that well if the hard-on he’d been sporting for most of the night was any indication.
Option number two was that he could help her find a Dom. It was what she wanted. Or, at least, it was what she said she wanted.
He rolled that option around in his brain even though thinking about it made him sick to his stomach. It was a logical option. Once she belonged to another Dom, maybe his libido would get with the program and realize she was off-limits.
The third option brought back all the guilt he’d felt since that night. He could forget about his friendship with Mark—forget about all that the Langleys had done for him—and give in to what he wanted. It would be the easy solution. At least, in the short term.
Justin already knew what Mark’s reaction to that option would be, but he had no idea how Davis or Belinda would feel about it. They thought of him as a son. They’d told him that many times. But that didn’t mean they’d be thrilled about him dating their daughter.
Was the risk worth it?
He didn’t know, and it was so hard to think around his desire to feel her in his arms again. His body knew what option it wanted.
Letting his head fall forward, he watched as the suds ran down his body into the drain before disappearing. Was he willing to flush his friendship down the drain for a woman? Not just any woman, grant you, but a woman nonetheless.
Could he break the trust of the family who’d been there for him at every turn? He was closer to Davis than he was to his own dad. Hell, it had been Davis who’d sat him down before Justin’s first date with Monica Jenkins and talked to him about responsibility and being safe. All his own father had done was toss him a box of condoms and tell him not to be stupid.
And it was Belinda who’d sat with Justin for hours on the porch steps after he found out his grandmother had died.
Turning off the water, Justin reached for a towel. As much as he hated it, there was only one real option. He had to find Kim a Dom. A Dom who was worthy of her and would take care of her like she deserved. As much as the idea turned Justin’s stomach, he couldn’t betray Davis, Belinda, or Mark any more than he already had.
As he slipped into bed, Justin noticed a side effect of his decision. Thinking of Kim with another Dom had successfully killed his erection.