3
BILLIE’S POV
What the hell?This was insane. Absolutely mental. I couldn't quite wrap my head around it. Not only had RedEye Security taken me to a safe house to look after me, but that Cody, of all people, was here. My God, I didn't even know that Stark had taken Cody under his wing, much less that I was ever going to deal with him again.
I pressed my hand to my heart and felt it pounding. I could hardly even begin to suck in a breath because I was so anxious and worked up. It was over six years ago since I last saw Cody––over six years ago since I was so caught up in my feelings for him that I was more than happy to sneak around with him and enjoy the little snatched moments around our workplace.
It was so hot and heavy. The most passion I had ever felt in my life. The taste of his plump lips, the feel of his rock hard body pressed up against mine, and his hands all over me... inside of me... touching me, tasting me...
"Are you okay?" Grant's question shocked me out of my thoughts. I was sure he could see the glazed over expression flooding my face.
"Err, yeah." I nodded vigorously. "I think so. Just a bit stunned."
"Yeah, I get that. It must be a bit of a shock to have us turn up at the gas station like we did. I'm sorry if we startled you... well, we definitely startled you."
"I’m sorry about how I reacted. I understand why you had to get to me like that," I replied warily. "I just have to protect my son at all costs."
Grant nodded understandingly. "Of course. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling, knowing how your former squad mates from the project have suffered in the hands of those people. It's a real shame, isn't it? I feel so bad for all of them."
I couldn't even bring myself to respond. I swallowed hard and nodded. Luckily, it didn't seem like Grant expected me to give him an answer. Since Stark only had the best of the best military men working for him, I knew that he would just get it.
"Is Stark coming here personally?" There was a weird little tremor in my voice as I asked that, which I had no idea where it had come from.
"I believe that Stark is caught up in another job at the moment, which is why he isn't here. I know that he would want to see you face to face if he could, Billie."
I almost tripped over a box of Lego as we entered the bedroom set up for Joey, which surprised me. This was Joey's favorite toy, he absolutely loved building, so to have the chance for him to play with them here was amazing.
"Oh! Who brought the Lego? That's really nice of you guys. Wow!"
"Phoenix made sure we had everything Joey might like." Grant smiled. "He knows it's going to be hard for the boy out here in the middle of nowhere."
That was sweet, really nice. These guys had gone all out for me, which would have made my whole chest warm up with delight had it not been for Cody. He really did have me on edge, and I didn't know what to think.
Clearly, he was very aware that this job would involve me, which meant he likely had questions for me. He was going to want to know why I left abruptly all those years ago without even saying goodbye to him. Especially when things were going so well between us. It wasn't just hot and heavy, it seemed like it could go somewhere as well. Maybe. I mean, there were no guarantees, we were a lot younger back then, it could have easily fizzled out with time. But there was that underlying feeling there––at least for me there was––which made it so hard to leave.
But I had to leave. I didn't have any choice in the matter. While things were going well between us, I didn't want things to be forced. I didn't want there to be any pressure. Basically, as soon as I found out that I had a secret growing in my belly, my instinct was to run like the wind. To vanish and never see Cody again.
It was freaking weird to have us together in the same place again.
What am I going to tell him?I wondered desperately as I kissed Joey on the head once Grant had laid him down on the bed. What am I going to tell any of them?
I did not really need this mess on top of everything else that I was going through. The added pressure of Cody being around while my life was on the line was mind boggling. My head was absolutely all over the place.
"Okay, well, I'm going to leave you here for a moment," Grant said with a smile. "Let you settle your son into bed, then we'll see you in the living room in a moment. I think we do need to have this meeting, to get us all on the same page."
I nodded and watched as Grant walked away from me, wondering how much he knew. I didn't think Cody was a 'kiss and tell' type person, but he might have caught the other guys up on some of our history. That was a little weird as well––thinking of them all talking about us behind my back.
"Oh, Joey," I whispered as I stroked his hair softly. "As long as you're safe..."
That was the hardest thing, wasn't it? Keeping my boy safe. But it sure as shit didn't make life easier with this secret hanging over our head. Was I ever going to be able to tell everyone the truth here? Would Cody work it out?
Fuck! My heart was absolutely hammering hard. I felt a little sick. I was going to have to calm myself down to remain focused on what was important here. The best thing for us to do would be to put it all in the past, to not think about it at all, so we could focus on what we all needed to do here––to keep danger away.
Eventually, I knew that I couldn't hide away in the bedroom any longer. Like Grant said, we needed to have this meeting so we were all on the same page about what we needed to do. I was just going to have to face Cody.
It will be fine, I tried my hardest to convince myself, no matter how skeptical I was. We will be fine, there is nothing to worry about at all.
I still walked tentatively slowly through towards the living room. I could hear all the guys talking to one another. Not about anything in particular, but it was enough to really have me on edge. There it was, that fight or flight instinct again, only this time there was absolutely nowhere for me to run.
I sucked in a shaky breath and pushed the door open before finally heading inside. While there was a bit of an 'all eyes on me' sensation, it wasn't quite as overwhelming as I thought it was going to be.
"Ah, Billie, you're here," Phoenix said with a grin. "Good, so we can get on with the meeting then because Stark has a lot of rules."
There was a seat available next to Cody, and I could feel him eyeing me, wanting me to sit with him, but there was also another chair on the other side. I chose to sit there, put some distance between us. Maybe Cody would be disappointed, but I hoped he understood that I was doing this for the best. To make it easier for the pair of us. There was just too much tension there.
"So, Stark's main rule is that two of us guys are up each time, awake and keeping a lookout. Much as we're safe here, we can't let our guard down,” Phoenix started after a while.
"Just you guys?" I pointed around the room. "What about me?"
The guys all stared at me in shock, like I had an alien growing out of my head.
"I don't think so." Cody was the first one to answer. "You don't need to be involved in any of this. Stark has given us the job to do. You just need to relax..."
"Relax?" I narrowed my eyes and folded my arms across my chest. "While you guys have all the fun? Are you joking? I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself. I can certainly sit up and keep watch when the time comes."
"But you have your son to worry about..." Grant tried to cool me down.
"Yeah, which is exactly why I want to help keep watch. I mean, I was going to do this all by myself, wasn't I? I had no idea that RedEye was getting involved. I was going to watch Joey all by myself, and I would have had to keep a lookout anyway. No, no… I’ll do my part. I will stay up."
"But you don't have to worry about that now." Cody rose to his feet to highlight his point. "Because we are here. We're here to take care of that for you."
"I don't need you to. I am capable of this. I want to help out."
A thick silence clung to the air, hanging around almost painfully so. I glared at every one of the guys in turn, making it really obvious as I stared at Cody. He knew me better than anyone here, he knew that I wasn't about to back down.
"Okay fine." Cody eventually held up his hands in defeat. Thank God he could at least remember my stubbornness. "There's no point in arguing with Billie about this, she won't let it go. Let's make sure she can help out."
That was a little bit patronizing. But whatever, I could let that go for now because I was getting my way. I leaned back in my seat and smiled. These men might believe that they were stronger than me, that they had it all under control because they were men and wolf shifters, I'd experienced a ton of that in my military career, but I was just as tough and capable as all of them. They would see that––I was going to prove to all of them that I had shit under control.
I could have looked after Joey alone, and I was more than prepared to do so. I wasn't going to be the damn damsel in distress while these guys took over.
"Well, you have had a long night tonight," Cody declared with a lop sided smile. "So, you must at least agree to get some sleep tonight. Me and Grant will take first shift. Does that work for everyone else? Yeah. Good."
I couldn't argue with that. Truth be told, I was shattered. But Phoenix wasn't done yet. He had a lot more rules to go through, but these ones were much easier to follow. No electronic communication, no leaving the safe house without telling anyone, nothing that could put us in any danger. It was all about keeping away from society which I suppose was for the best. Even if Joey was going to find it hard.
But it seemed like Phoenix knew what to do when it came to kids––with the Lego box and everything. Perhaps they would help keep him entertained... although Cody was going to be a different matter. I was going to have to tell him how he was really linked to Joey. Much as it absolutely terrified me, and it wasn't something that I had ever planned on doing, I was going to have to be honest.
I watched him from the side of my eye, wondering how he would take the news. He was either going to absolutely hate me and maybe even storm out of here, refusing to help us both. That was a possibility that I was going to have to get used to. But he could also want to get back together as well, which was wild...
Yeah, I needed to stop thinking that because it was a concept that was leaving me breathless. Someone was going to notice soon enough.
Eventually, Phoenix called the meeting to an end. He sent Grant and Cody out to keep watch and told Jasper to show me to my room. I hadn't had much chance to talk to Jasper as yet, but something about him intrigued me. It was the intensity––that look in his eyes gripped onto me and wouldn't let me go. Unfortunately, with Cody being around, it was hard to think about anyone else.
"It's just upstairs," Jasper told me, pointing towards the stairs. "Near Joey's room. We thought it might be nice for you guys to be close together."
"Yeah, I think I need that," I mumbled almost under my breath. "Because eventually he's going to wake up in a strange house, and he will be worried. The nearer I am to his room, the better. I want him to be able to find me."
Jasper nodded. I felt like there was a lot more he wanted to say, but he couldn't find the words. I wasn't about to encourage him to continue because my head was everywhere. I needed to take my scrambled brain to bed.
"So, this is you." Jasper finally pointed to where I needed to go. "I will just be downstairs for a little while longer, so come and get me if there is anything you want or need. We know this situation isn’t ideal, but we're here to make you as comfortable as we possibly can, okay? Don't be afraid to ask."
There it was again, that intensity. There was something about that I kinda liked. I wasn't an intense person at all, or I certainly didn't feel like one, but I appreciated it in other people. I had a feeling that me and Jasper would get along well. I thanked him with a smile before I finally slipped into my bedroom.
I leaned against the door and let out a sigh of relief because I was finally alone. I didn't need to get all wound up anymore, trying to keep my cool in front of these guys. It wasn't exactly working anyway, so what was the point?
My head pounded as I thought of Cody, Jasper, Phoenix and Grant as well. They were here to keep me away from any danger, and I appreciated that, but I had to admit that it was a little scary putting my life in the hands of other people. I wasn't sure I could do it. Even if I pretty much had to...
Eventually, I concluded that it wasn't going to be as easy for me to shut off as I thought it was. In this situation, the best thing for me to do was take a shower. If I could get my muscles to unwind, I would be in a much better position to get my head on straight. I'd be able to work out a plan of how I would handle all of this––if there was a way to handle all of this that is.
Thankfully, in the one bag I actually managed to bring in from the truck, my towels and pajamas were in there. I could at least get through tonight. Of course, Phoenix had been right, I needed to hand in the rental car at the first place possible, even if it was booked under a false name, just to be on the safe side.
The store worker had been surprised when I returned the vehicle much sooner than I said I would, and at a different location at that, but I didn't need to worry. There was no way that anyone could track me now. I was as safe as I could be.
"Where is the bathroom?" I wondered to myself as I left my bedroom. Sure, like Jasper offered, I could have headed back down the stairs and asked for directions, but I wanted to figure this out by myself. And I could. Surely it wasn't going to be that hard for me to find the bathroom, right? "This way... surely."
There were a lot of rooms on this floor, which I guess made sense because we were all staying here––we needed many bedrooms.
I was very careful as I pushed doors open. I didn't want to accidentally stumble across anyone, but thankfully it very much seemed like I was alone. That was until I actually found the bathroom and saw a figure standing there.
Not just anyone but Cody.
Fuck, I thought he was on lookout, but he was here, stepping into the shower, driving me a little crazy. My heart was in my throat, thundering away, leaving me weak at the knees.
There he was, in all his naked glory, reminding me all too well of the steamy encounters we shared––in the office, in our rooms, in the stationery cupboard one time. We really couldn't keep our hands off of one another, no matter how hard we tried. It was virtually impossible. That sensation was there once more, as the heat burned and flushed through my body. It was damn near impossible not to rush over to him, grab him and kiss him all over again, to let him just take me once more.
I didn't like to think while I was around Cody, I just liked to act, and it seemed like the years away from him hadn't changed that at all.
If he hadn't turned around at that exact moment and locked his eyes with mine, causing me to flee out of sheer humiliation, I would have let my body move of its own accord. There was no way I could talk to Cody now, not even to apologize for ogling him like that, dumb struck because he was just so freaking hot. Possibly even better looking than he was before.
"Shit, shit, shit!" I muttered to myself as I ran, ice cold shame racing through my veins. Now I was never going to be able to face Cody again, never mind talk to him long enough to tell the truth. "Oh God, Billie, what a start. What a start."
All I wanted to do was leave this place and never come back. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to happen.