Hate and love, Maria said. Those near enemies that are so close they can merge into one. Like night becoming day. It seemed I was well and truly in the dusk between hating him and loving him.
He shifted beside me, making my hand fall gently on the pillow between us. I rolled over slightly, just a shift of my hips to get a better look at him. He was so beautiful. So perfect in every way. Without even planning to, I gently caressed the side of his cheek, softly running my fingertips over the stubble that was longer and darker now than I had ever seen it. He looked more handsome, more rugged, and more irresistible than ever.
He grumbled when I touched him, drawing his face away slightly. But now that I’d felt his skin, I was hopelessly entangled in the need to be closer to him. With only my fingertip, I traced a line down his shoulder, his upper arm, and up his thick and veined forearm.
“Anika,” he growled against the pillow which was smashed against his cheek. “Seriously. Let me rest.”
“I can’t,” I said softly, now exploring the muscles on the sides of his abdomen. I dragged my finger back up his abs to his chest, and then pushed him onto his back with the flat of my hand. As I rolled him onto his back, I said, “I can’t stay away from you. I can’t help myself.”
Still he grumbled, but I had to take a chance. It was either spend a sleepless night beside him or take him for myself. And show him that I too had power here, that I too could be in control.
I straddled him in the dark, continuing to explore his body. His pecs, his nipples, that hollow at the bottom of his muscular throat. The scars that lined his body, so many mysteries untold. I let my hair fall over my shoulder, tickling his skin with it as I explored him. Somehow, I could feel him softening, warming up to me. Relenting.
Finally, his tired eyes opened and met mine. They were dark with heat and greed.
He reached up to pull me down to him for a kiss, but I resisted. I liked it here, above him, over him. He was so much bigger than me and so much more powerful, I knew this control I felt was only temporary. He was a like a wounded lion, down for only a moment. I had to seize my chance. “Where were you?” I asked him. “Why did you leave me?”
Maksim nudged my hand with his cheek, placing a kiss to my palm. “I’m sorry I did that,” he said, with his lips still close to my flesh.
“Tell me,” I said. “If I’m your wife, I deserve to know.”
As I said that word, that magic word wife, I felt his cock harden between my legs. We still had the sheets and my britches between us, and I took advantage of that too, grinding my pelvis against him, making him groan.
He gazed up at me as he rolled his hips into mine, in tandem with my movements.
“I was finding out some truths. About me, about this whole kingdom. And about you. Us.”
He moved to take hold of my hips, but I seized his thick wrists and pinned his hands against the bed. If he’d wanted to resist, he could have. But he didn’t.
Not yet.
I slid my palms against his so that we could entwine our fingers. He let me grip his hands first, then followed my lead. It was then I understood that he wasn’t just letting me control him. He was showing me, without a word, how to be controlled.
“Can there ever even be an ‘us’?” I asked him, grinding my pubic bone into him. “Everything depends on them. On your uncle and my mother.”
Maksim shook his head. “Not everything. Not now. There are things you don’t know, things I’ve only just started to find out. A little longer and it will all become clear, I promise. Telling you now would only worry you.”
My heart sank. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
Now he gripped my hands hard in return, looked me in the eye, and said, “Exactly. And you don’t even know the details. Trust me, all will work out.”
“How can I though? I don’t know who you are, not anymore. At least before I knew you hated me, now I don’t know what to think.”
He flipped me onto my back and pinned me to the mattress beneath him. I struggled against him, but he was so much bigger than I was that I was powerless. It didn’t stop me trying though. But my writhing was testing his patience, and he narrowed his eyes.
“Hands on the headboard,” he said, placing them just where he wanted them. “And don’t you fucking move them.”