She sniffled hard, watching me. Interested, curious. But still scared as fuck. As well I could understand.
“I believe in one thing in this shit-ass world—you. I’m not about to lose you. You’re mine and I’m yours, whether you fucking like it or not. You’re my wife. Period.”
Her eyes were hard as steel in the moonlight. Worse than that, she looked afraid of me. Terrified and full of regret and shame. She shook her head, blinking rapidly and drawing her body away from mine, resisting my embrace.
At a silent look from her, Falroy ran off into the underbrush, no doubt to wait for her at some agreed rendezvous.
“You used me, Maksim. And I will never forgive you. You aren’t my brother. You aren’t even my stepbrother. And you’re not my husband. You’re nothing to me.”
Her words hit me like a battering ram in the gut. Once, she had been nothing but sweetness and light. But now she was full of venom and hate. And it was all my fault. I fell to my knees in front of her, flattened with the guilt and grief I felt inside.
“Maybe that’s true,” I said, my voice thick with tears, “But you are everything to me. You always have been. You always will be. You are and you will always be the only one for me. Since the moment I saw you, I’ve been saving myself for you. And I knew that it might never happen. But I didn’t fucking care. Because I am yours, Anika. Your husband, your brother, yours. No matter how you feel about me.”
“Then why?” She cried. “Why, Maksim? Why didn’t you just wake me, tell me you were going to leave me like that, to face all that shame, all that laughter. Why?”
“Because I didn’t know if my plan would work. A note was the best I could do, it was the most I could give you. More than that would have been tempting fate to deny us our happiness. I’m sorry. I had to be sure. Don’t you see? I couldn’t get your hopes up, Anika, not when the chances of success were so slim.”
“But where did you go? Why did you have to leave?”
“For us, Anika. I had to leave for us. All will be clear, I promise, but not right now. This has to be my secret, for a little longer. Just trust me.”
For a long time, she said nothing. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into me, letting my tears spill into the soft warmth of her hips and thighs. I couldn’t remember the last time I cried, if I ever had. But if ever there was a moment to show my true self, this was it. Everything was on the line. My heart, my future, my reason for living.
I felt her inhale deeply and then she exhaled, slowly, carefully, blowing out a breath that told me her lips were trembling. And finally, she wrapped her arms around me, running her fingertips through my hair.
Thank the fucking lord, I thought, as I wiped my cheeks on her torn tunic. I looked up at her and found her eyes waiting for me, soft and welcoming. But still in need of some serious explanations.
“I need to sleep. And I need you with me,” I said. “I promise that once I’ve got my head back on straight, I’ll explain it all. Everything.”
She moved to pull away from me, shaking her head furiously. “There’s no way I’m going back in there, Maksim. I am not going back to that life. I risked my own skin to get this far. I’m not turning back now.”
I rubbed my face, inhaling against my palms. I loved the fuck out of her but goddamn it she could frustrate me like nothing else. “Anika,” I said, face to my hands. “Seriously.”
“No! No way.”
Her tone was playful now. That spoiled, wonderful bratty playfulness that I loved so fucking much. Or usually did, anyway. Right now, I was just so goddamned tired, I didn’t know what I loved and what I hated.
“I’ve been riding to get back to you for twenty-four hours, straight,” I said, positioning my chin on her belly and gazing up at her. She looked so beautiful with the stars behind her, with the fireflies around us. So beautiful that I completely forgot what I’d planned to say next.
She hadn’t forgotten, though. “And?” She actually put her hand on her hip. “And?”
“Anika,” I growled, in a warning this time.
“Oh no, no, no,” she sassed. “Don’t you Anika me.”
“Fuck it,” I said, standing up and hoisting her over my shoulder. “Enough talk. We’re going inside.”
She fought me with such fury that I couldn’t help myself from giving her a few firm swats on that fantastic ass of hers. She beat my back as I carried her along. I let her squirm it out.