TO: Cecelia Carter
DATE: September 15, 2014 at 11:47:09 PM CST
FROM: Matthew Wakefield
Subject: Ouch.
That hurt my feelings a little.
MSW
Sent from my iPhone
CHAPTER 4
CECELIA
“How annoying. He is seriously starting to interfere with her being single.”
– Jenna, my roommate Molly’s best friend.
Okay. I’ll admit it. After that last email last night, I feel kind of bad. I sit up in bed and grab my phone to check the time.
8:27 on a Saturday morning…
Ugh.
Then, since my phone is already in my hand, I tap open the last message from Matthew Wakefield.
That hurt my feelings a little…
Trust me. I’ve dissected the reasons why I’m giving him the brush off a million times, and here are a few of the reasons I came up with:
He is Molly’s brother. There’s, like, a Girl Code about liking a friend’s brother somewhere… isn’t there?
He is an ass.
Matthew is a hockey player for a professional hockey team. So out of my league, on so many levels.
Better to reject than be rejected…. Right? I mean. Could he possibly be interested in someone like me, other than to drive me insane?
Please see #2
Despite all of these things, I do the opposite of what any self-respecting girl would do: I pick up my phone and email Matthew back – even knowing that it’s probably not necessary (him being a dickhead and all) but nonetheless he is my roommate’s brother, and I suddenly have a stab of conscience.
TO: Matthew Wakefield
DATE: September 16, 2014 at 8:32:07 AM CST
FROM: Cecelia Carter
Subject: This is awkward.
I’m sorry my last comment was so rude last night. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. - C
Sent from my Android Smartphone
TO: Cecelia Carter
DATE: September 16, 2014 at 8:47:17 AM CST
FROM: Matthew Wakefield
Subject: Apology accepted.
Hurt my feelings? I’m a guy – our feelings don’t get hurt. We get pissed.
MSW
PS: Still. Apology accepted.
Sent from my iPhone
For a while, I’ll be honest: I sit in stony silence cross legged on my bed, completely fixated on the tiny screen of my cell, not quite knowing what to do or how to respond. I open and close the email app several times, reading and rereading his words, rolling them around in my head.
Should I respond? What do I say? Is there any way possible to play it cool?
My bedroom door is ajar, and I can hear Molly shuffling around the kitchen – I crane my head and try to get a visual on her through the small crack in my door, catching a brief glimpse of her bending to dig a pan out of the cabinet, still in her pajamas. I lean back against my headboard, frustrated, and blow out a puff of air, which sends the hair in my face flying in soft wisps.
How do I get myself into these messes?
TO: Matthew Wakefield
DATE: September 16, 2014 at 9:11:22 AM CST
FROM: Cecelia Carter
Subject: RE: Apology accepted.
Okay. I guess I won’t feel so bad then. I was wrong to assume you even had feelings in the first place. My bad.
- C
Sent from my Android Smartphone
TO: Cecelia Carter
DATE: September 16, 2014 at 9:15:48 AM CST
FROM: Matthew Wakefield
Subject: Hitting on all cylinders this morning?
I’m going to ignore that AND your sarcasm. Too early in the morning and I give zero fucks about your crappy attitude.
MSW
Sent from my iPhone
Whoa.
Again, I sit stunned on the bed.
A few emotions wash over me all at once before I can stop or analyze them: Embarrassment. Shame. Anger.
Why are things always going from bad to worse with Matthew? One minute we’re having fun and flirting in our sick, twisted way – and the next he’s cursing and calling me sarcastic.
And not in a good way.
It’s not really a situation I know how to deal with. Typically, I get along with everyone – well, except maybe my sister growing up (but she hardly counts since she’s family). And okay – I’ll admit there was this guy once at the public library I argued with over the only copy of Othello (I needed it for a class at the time)… but in my defense: he wouldn’t leave me alone, kept following me around… pestering me for the damn thing.
Which I already pointed out: I. Needed.
So yeah. There was that guy.
Confused, I stare up at my ceiling. Just when I think maybe Matthew and I might be getting along, I say something dumb and he takes it the wrong way.
Sheesh. Is it my fault he’s so sensitive?
I was really hoping that at this point we could get along - You know, for Molly’s sake (not because I think he’s cute or something). One minute we’re bantering and the next we’re bitching at each other.
TO: Matthew Wakefield
DATE: September 16, 2014 at 9:45:03 AM CST
FROM: Cecelia Carter
Subject: So this is awkward…
Okay. That last email threw me for a loop. I feel like I should apologize again for being such a…Ugh. I can’t even say it. You get what I’m trying to say right? Without my having to spell it out? I think for Molly’s sake it would be great if we could get along. I’m really not as bad as you probably think I am. If it’s any consolation, you’ve seen me both times at my worst. I mean – can you say “smudged eyeliner?” - C