I sigh because he’s right, but Parker didn’t lie to him about so many important things. He had sex with her the first time with his eyes wide open. He wasn’t manipulated into it.
“Let’s look at this from another angle,” Jude says. “Would you take it back?”
“What?”
“All of it. The nights you spent together at Beth’s wedding, the pregnancy, the time you two had together before the other shoe dropped. Would you take it back? If you knew then what you know now, would you wish it all away?”
I look down the sonogram image of my son, my head immediately shaking.
“No,” I answer honestly. “None of it.”
“Do you love her any less right now than you did before?”
Brooks shifts in his seat as if he’s totally invested in my answer, making me feel like a shitty friend because I’ve never reached out to him to talk about these things.
“Or do you love her more than ever before?”
“More,” I say, having to clear my throat when my emotions threaten to take over.
“Are you better off without her?”
I shake my head.
“If you were together right now would it only be because she was pregnant with your child?
“Of course not.”
Jude sits back like he’s solved the greatest problem in the world. “Then I don’t see the problem. Fight if you have to, then make love to her and tell her you forgive her.”
“I’m not the one who fucked up,” I remind him.
“But you are fucked up with this distance between the two of you.”
“I don’t even know if she cares for me like that,” I mutter.
Brooks huffs as if he has a crystal ball and can see the future. I give him the bird, but there’s no heat in the action.
He grins at me.
“She feels something if she’s going to name her son after you.”
“Our son,” I clarify.
Jude grins wider, but then his face grows serious once again. “If you love that woman and can see yourself as a part of her future, then I’d say it’s about time to lay it all on the line.”
“Because your moping is getting annoying,” Wren says over the loudspeaker.
“Such a fucking pussy!” Puff Daddy screams before Wren can close out the mic.
I look back to my best friend. “What? I agree.”
“Of course you do,” I mumble. “She has to come to me. I’m not the one who—”
“Fucked up,” Jude says. “Yeah, yeah. We know. What happens if she showed up in the office right now?”
I look toward the front office, half expecting her to be standing right there. Disappointment hits me in the chest when she’s not there.
“I’ll love her for the rest of our lives.”
“And if she never shows up?”
My chest constricts with the implication. “I don’t know.”
It’s a solid fucking lie because I’ve already been fighting the urge to go to her. After the anger settled to more of a simmer, I wanted to go to her. Pride and worry that even after all the time we’ve spent together, she doesn’t want me the way I want her kept me away. I couldn’t take another hit. My self-esteem couldn’t handle it.
“So you’ll just suffer when the love of your life is right across town?” Jude holds up his phone, the image of my son still on his screen. “This is her waving the white flag.”
“Don’t wait for the smoke to settle to accept her surrender,” Brooks says. “Don’t forgo your chance at happiness because it doesn’t look exactly like the fairy tale you’ve built in your head. Love is messy.”
I slow blink at my best friend. He’s never once said something so profound to me before. The man is usually all charm and devious grins.
Brooks’s head snaps back as if he’s just been slapped.
“Fuck,” he snaps. “I gotta go.”
Jude and I are left staring at his back as he all but runs across the room toward the elevator. When it doesn’t come fast enough, he hits the emergency exit to take the stairs.
“What the fuck was that all about?”
“He’s going through his own shit right now,” Jude answers. “You’ve been blind to it because of your own suffering.”
Yep, shittiest friend in the world.
“I say give yourself a cutoff date. Get a date in your head and if she doesn’t come to you by that time, then you need to go to her. Pride is the only thing keeping you away. Just remember that the longer you wait, the longer she hurts, and I know you never want her to feel that way.”
Jude walks away, and I’m left sitting alone.
I look at my calendar app even though I don’t need it. I mean, twenty-four hours doesn’t require visualization.
I go right back to social media.
Eric: Do you remember making fun of him because he was drooling at her high school graduation?
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