“How was I supposed to know when you never said anything? You’ve been my best friend since forever.”
“I didn’t want to make things weird and awkward between us. If you rejected me, our friendship would’ve been over. If we dated and broke up, I’d never get to see you again. Every time I was close to confessing, I chickened out. You gave me so many mixed signals that I didn’t know where you stood. But fuck it, now it’s weird, so it might as well be out in the open.”
“I gave you mixed signals?” I ask in shock. “I thought our friendship was mutual. You’re throwing all of this at me, and truthfully, I don’t really know how to respond.”
“Well, what if I told you I think Knox’s all wrong for you? You deserve better, and he’d only break your heart. Deep down, I think you know that too. If you gave me a chance, I’d prove how amazing we’d be together. We already know everything about each other and practically act like a couple between going out to eat and you crashing at my house on the weekends. Why is it so crazy to think I wouldn’t be attracted to you or want more?”
I contemplate his questions. My brain is hardly working today as it is, and this isn’t helping the hangover.
“I don’t know,” I reply honestly. “I’m really confused, but I know I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear, but I’m very conflicted at the moment.”
Without a word, Kane closes the gap between us and pushes me against the wall. He squeezes my hips and pulls our bodies together.
“What are you doin’?”
In his deep, husky voice, he says, “Something I should’ve done a long-ass time ago.”
He cups my face and slants his mouth over mine, capturing my lips in a heated kiss. I wait for my mind to freak out, but it never does. Instead, my body melts into him, and I fist his shirt, tilting my head back so he has full access.
I often wondered if kissing Kane would feel like kissing my brother. It doesn’t.
A moan escapes my throat when he slides his tongue in and massages it with mine. This kiss is hot and eager, and the heat between my thighs surprises me. Kane groans as he slides a hand behind my neck and up into my hair, and I contemplate ripping off his shirt. Knox isn’t the only one with tattoos. Kane also has them on his arm and chest, along with a six-pack of abs that I’ve seen dozens of times but have never explored.
With that thought, I lower my hands and slide them underneath his shirt, feeling his muscles tighten beneath my touch. He leans into me, his erection poking into my lower stomach, and the urge to release him consumes me. I wonder if he has dick piercings too. I’ve never had such vivid and intense thoughts of Kane before, but now that they’ve surfaced, I know they won’t just go away.
“Hads,” he murmurs, softly breaking our kiss. We pant into each other as he rests his forehead on mine. “You have no idea how goddamn long I’ve wanted to do that.”
“Why’d you stop then?” I whimper, almost pouting like a child who got their favorite toy taken away.
“Because if I didn’t, I’d rip off your clothes and fuck you until we both passed out from pleasure. And that’s not how I want this to go. I want to take you out. Spend time with you. This isn’t just about sex for me. I’ve imagined you underneath me more times than I can count, but I don’t want it to be the basis of our relationship. I want you to want this too, Hads.”
My throat suddenly goes dry, and I wish I could give in to what I’m feeling, but I know that’d be impulsive. I’m too indecisive to truly know what I want in the heat of the moment.
Kane looks at me, patiently waiting for me to respond, but instead, tears fill my eyes.
“I’m torn because I don’t want to hurt you, and at this point, no matter what I do, someone will get hurt. Whatever choice I make will affect us forever. That’s a lot for me to grasp, so I hope you can understand that I don’t have an answer right now.”
He lowers his eyes with a nod, and the guilt creeps in. A part of me wants to jump him and give in to what my body’s feeling, while the other wants to have an emotional breakdown.
“Can you give me some time to think about all of this? I need to have a clear mind before deciding anything, and right now, I’m dealing with a massive headache.”
“Yeah, of course. I’ve sprung a lot on you. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t keep it in any longer.”