“You have a horrible way of starting things. I was thinking the worst was about to come out of your mouth.”
I make steady eye contact with him so he can see my truth. “You’ll know when I’m about to tell you something bad. Or if I’m going to leave you. I won’t just tell you. I’ll do something way cooler and creative like burn all your stuff.”
“I love it when you talk dirty to me.”
He presses his lips to mine. “I’m proud of you baby. I think you’re going to make a hot little college student…” He takes a second to consider his own words. “Any chance this is an online school?”
I chuckle, standing on my tippy toes to kiss him back.
“I have something I—”
I cut him off. “Wait…that’s not all. Now, don’t be mad.” His smile falls. “I did something else. Please don’t be mad, but I just thought…”
“Jesus, you’re horrible at this shit. Spit it out.”
“Open the letter.”
He glances at me, confused. Tapping his fingers against the manilla envelope, he rips open the top and pulls out the thin stack of papers. I watch as he takes in each sentence. Slowly, he looks up at me. “You said forever. For me, that means us as a team. I know we’ve talked about it, and you said that ship had sailed, but I say it’s just getting ready to board. You don’t have to do it, but…I just thought…”
“An application?”
“It’s the same college I got in to. It has a great pre-med program. I talked to Ben. I know I went behind your back, but he suggested it. I can take undergrad classes until I figure out what I want to do, and you can finish the two years you have left. We could do it together…”
Oh god, he looks like he’s going to be sick. What have I done? I should have asked. He continues to stare at the pages, and I know I messed up.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed. I love you for whoever you are and whatever you decide to do. This was silly—”
He drops the papers on the couch and walks off toward his bedroom. I cover my face with my hands to hide the sudden tears. I bite at my trembling lip, mad at myself. Drawing in a deep breath, I pull my hands away. To my surprise, Chase is back, standing in front of me.
“Open this.”
“Wh—What?”
“Open it.”
Confused, I open the white envelope and pull out the trifold piece of paper. I wipe at my eyes so I can see the words clearer. My lips part at the first sentence. I almost have to read the second sentence over again. I look up, my heart beating erratically. “You…”
“I had a talk with a beautiful girl once. She convinced me it’s never too late to follow your dreams. It just took me some time to convince myself I could do it.” He cups my cheek. “Angel, I want to be better for you. The man you come home to and respect. I want to provide for you and know you’ll want for nothing.”
“So, you…”
“I applied to go back to school. Not sure I have it in me to take eight years of schooling to become a doctor anymore, but this way, I can at least work towards becoming a general practitioner or something.”
I shake my head. “But how? We applied to the same—”
“Ben, that bastard, played both sides.”
“You talked to him about it?”
“He was the one who pushed me to this school. Makes sense why now. Told me it would be a great start for you as well. I have registration paperwork in the kitchen for you. In case you were ready.”
Before I met Chase, I was drowning. In sorrow. Regret. I allowed a tragedy to rule my life. I took blame for something that was out of my control and vowed to live the rest of my days paying for those sins. I loved a boy, and because of that, he died. I fell so deep into darkness, I truly believed I didn’t deserve to love again. To be loved. My heart was too shattered to ever be mended.
And then Chase came into my life. He was my savior. The road to hope and healing. He pulled me out of the darkness and showed me I deserve to live. To be loved. He brought warmth into my heart, and as it slowly mended, he allowed me to see that life does go on.
I once believed there was only one person in this world you would love. It’s taken time to accept Jax’s death, but Chase gave me a new perspective on love, and it stuck with me. Maybe everything does happen for a reason. Jax taught me how to love. To see beauty in the smallest things. To have faith. And he allowed me to find Chase.