Me: Made cookies with Anna. Got sugar all over me. In desperate need of a shower.
I quickly snap a picture so Anna won’t notice me sucking on my finger and attach it.
He replies almost instantly.
Chase your boyfriend: You’re in luck. I have my PHD in sugar removal. Also, now I’m hard. *insert attachment*
I sport a silly grin when I open the photo of a large construction machine.
Me: Always compensating. Lol. I guess I’ll let you get back to work.
Chase your boyfriend: Not sure how I’m going to work with this huge boner. How about I pick you up after you get Anna to bed and prove just how much I’m not compensating?
“What’s wrong with your face?” I pull my attention from my phone at Anna’s voice.
“Huh? Oh, nothing. Just a friend being funny. Ready to put the last batch in?”
I text Chase back, accepting his offer, add a bunch of kissing emojis, and shove my phone in the back pocket of my jeans. I pick up the cookie sheet and slide it into the oven. “There. How about we start a movie?”
Anna jumps up and down. “Ratatouille!” I smile, repressing my internal groan. I can recite the movie word for word—that’s how many times we’ve watched it.
“You got it, kiddo. Let’s clean up first, okay?” By the time the kitchen is back to sparkling, the timer goes off. I take out the cookies and leave them on the cooling rack and follow a bouncing Anna to the entertainment room. At least, if I have to watch a movie to death, I get to do it in style. Plush reclining movie chairs with a gigantic screen is now my only way to watch a show. Jonathon texts, letting me know he has a dinner meeting and not to wait for him. We color while Alice cooks dinner and play I-spy while we eat. Alice leaves for the night, and we head upstairs for bath time.
“Why do you keep looking at your watch?”
“Just wondering what time it is.” I can’t help but constantly check the time. I check my phone to see if I missed any texts. My shoulders slump every time I see nothing in my inbox. Okay maybe I am needy and clingy. My phone buzzes, startling me, and I look down to see a text from Chase. Back to smiling. I open it.
Chase your boyfriend: Did you know today is the longest day ever? Legit. Looked it up. Also, my boner hasn’t gone away. He’s craving sugar.
Chase your boyfriend: Shit, sorry. That may have gone too far. What I meant to say is I miss you. My boner has nothing to do with it.
Chase your boyfriend: I feel like that came out wrong too. My boner is all about you. He’s in it to win it.
Chase your boyfriend: Again. Foot in mouth. I feel like I’m messing this all up. Don’t break up with me. My boner won’t survive it.
Chase your boyfriend: Okay, that was corny. Maybe you should… *insert face-palm emoji*
I can’t hold in my laughter.
Me: New phone, who dis?
I’m terrible. And giddy. And so freaking in love.
Chase your boyfriend: Oh, good, we’re starting over. Hello, my name is Chase and I love to listen. Would you like to touch my boner?
An unrestrained laugh bursts from my lips.
Me: Why yes, I would love to. I just recently became single. Had to get rid of this other guy. Started to get a little creepy. Pick me up at eight? I have to warn you, though, I have small hands. May need to use my mouth too.
Chase your boyfriend: Jesus…you are the devil.
Chase your boyfriend: The sexiest devil. Mine.
I release a long sigh as imaginary hearts blast from my glassy, love-sick eyes.
“The water is cold. Can I get out?” Oh, shoot.
“Yes, of course.” I get Anna dressed for bedtime.
“Can I have a cookie before bed? Promise I’ll go to sleep right after. Please. Please.”
I nod. “Yeah, just one, though.” I race her downstairs and into the kitchen. She grabs a chair and pulls it up to the counter while I pull off the top to the cookie container.
A loud crashing noise comes from outside. I stall, my attention focused on the window facing the backyard.
“Can I have the chocolate sprinkle one?” I nod as I look outside the kitchen window. What the heck was that? “I’m the best cookie maker in all the land,” Anna boasts as I hear it again.
“Anna, why don’t you go upstairs and pick out some books to read before bed?”
“Can I bring my cookie?”
I hesitate. “Yeah. Just this one time. I’ll be right up.”
I wait for her to disappear up the stairs, then grab a flashlight and the large rolling pin. Opening the back door, I peek my head out and listen. “Hello?” I call out, my voice tense. I’m met with silence. Not that a killer would reply with, “Hey, I’m over here.” I grip my hands around the rolling pin and step outside, pondering what could go wrong here with each step I take. Axed by a murderer. Kidnapped. Attacked by a wild animal— “Okay, too far. We’re in the freaking’ suburbs for Christ’s sake.”