Courtney chuckled. “Well, it’s not really a question, more of... I don’t know.”
I tore my eyes away from my sandwich and fixed them on her. What was she being so shy about?
“Spit it out.” I popped the remainder of my sandwich into my mouth and grabbed another one. Training always left me more hungry than usual.
“Well, I don’t know a nice way to put this, so I may as well just say it,” she said, fiddling with her bangs. “What about us?”
I frowned, not understanding what her question pertained to. I cleared my throat after swallowing the bite I had taken. “What about you... in what way?”
“About... everything.” She threw her hands out then brought them back to her lap. “Our father, the realms, the lineage and heir to the Warlock stuff. What are Bella and I to do about it all? Do we have a role to play? Or are we destined to just stay here forever, like Mother?”
I blinked, letting the questions sink in. I reached for my necklace only to remember it didn’t work here. I groaned.
“I can’t think of anything worse than being stuck here,” I admitted.
Courtney nodded. “You and me both... I mean, you know.”
“Yeah, of course.”
We both meant no disrespect to Bella, the one of us that could probably be happy to stay in the realm forever, but it wasn’t us.
I was suddenly hit with the fact that Courtney had so desperately wanted to come with me but stayed behind because I told her to. I didn’t regret it, either, knowing what I knew now. But I could understand why she had a bit of attitude. She didn’t like to be cooped up. She was like a tiger prowling in a cage that was too small for her, and when she was finally released from it, she was going to pounce.
“I don’t think Mother really wanted to stay isolated for so long...” I said, thinking about what others had told me about her. “I mean, she was so liked, happy, powerful, I think she could have done great things in the magical realm in the right position.”
“So, what made her come here?” Courtney asked, picking at something on her seat.
I sighed. “Honestly, when she got pregnant, she put her life, and ours, in danger.” I didn’t know how else I could explain it. Again, I wished I could have talked to Mother myself and gotten some clarity.
“So, basically, she fell in love with the wrong guy,” Courtney said, trying to make sense of my answer.
I laughed. “Yeah, that was definitely her undoing,” I said, nodding. “Getting pregnant probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do either, especially knowing Father couldn’t actually be a father to us.”
Courtney chuckled, her cheeks turning pink at the thought of pregnancy. It was hard to remember she was barely twenty-one.
“Yeah, well... she certainly paid for it with twenty-four years of isolation,” she said.
I nodded and hummed in agreement, alt
hough I didn’t think our mother had ever regretted her choice.
“So... what do you want to know, Court?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at her. “What are you really asking?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, really,” she admitted. Her voice had gotten small, as though she was suddenly shy with being scrutinized. I wasn’t sure what else she expected when she asked questions like this. “But... what are we going to do? It sounds like it’s way too dangerous for us to come out of the closet... so to speak. But I want to meet our father too!” She threw her arms out. “I want to take lessons from the Fae, and become stronger, more powerful. Surely this isn’t our destiny? To be stuck in an off-human-world forever?”
Her pain was far too real to me. I knew how isolated I’d felt for so long. And yet, I got to leave. I got to go on this journey while she was forced to stay behind.
I reached over and squeezed her hand, before withdrawing to my couch again.
“Look, Court, I can only tell you what’s going on for the moment. I have no idea what’s going to happen in the future,” I said.
Courtney picked up another sandwich. “That’s fair.” Her eyes flickered over at me. “So, hit me.”
I inhaled sharply. “So... I didn’t believe mother when she said how dangerous it would be for us to find our father, and look what has happened,” I said. I took a quick bite of my food. I lifted my hands in a helpless gesture and shrugged. “As much as I hate the fact that I was cooped up, I have to admit, Mother was right. And now I feel stupid for putting all of us in so much danger, just because I wanted adventure.”
Courtney nodded. “I know the feeling.”
“Yeah, but I can’t even... explain how bad I feel about it,” I continued. I began to rip the sandwiches into small pieces, needing something to do with my hands. “I’ve thrown the magical realm, and our lives, into total chaos. I mean... look at me. Back here, hiding, praying to the Universe that no-one finds us here. I know I’m safe... technically. I just don’t say anything because I don’t want to worry you about it.” I hung my head. “I’ve made things so much worse.”