He stiffened behind me; his thighs aligned behind mine. “You’re going to keep me out of your bed because I haven’t explained everything to you yet?”
I didn’t bother turning to look at him. “You’re clearly in my bed right now. I’m just not going to open my legs to someone keeping secrets. How the hell am I supposed to know these things?”
He tugged his hand free and rolled over onto his back. “I’m sorry.”
He didn’t offer anything else, and it was enough to cement my decision. The other night had been fun, but it was more about taking the edge off. Anything more would be a choice made, and I didn’t want him to think I’d be letting him off that easily.
I resettled into the pillow, shoving my hand underneath in a way I’d done since childhood. It was a comforting position as I used to hide my secrets there, little rocks and treasures I’d found, and when I was older, my diary with its tiny silver lock.
My chest felt tight, not in a way that meant I couldn’t draw a full breath, but in an aching sort of
way. It took me another moment to realize it was Fin’s pain I felt. He must have loosened some of his shields, or me mine, to allow this much through.
If I wasn’t so fucking hard-headed, I would have rolled over to him, offered him the comfort I’d originally denied. But I couldn’t. If we were going to have a relationship, I needed him to understand we had to be equals. And right now, he wasn’t playing that way.
After a fitful night of rest, I woke to morning sunlight streaming in the window and an empty bed.
The sound of movement through the open doorway caught my attention and I found Fin going through some kind of Tai Chi warm up with a nasty looking sword he’d obviously found in the safe house. Still naked, of course. Which made me wonder how many times he’d put on pants for my benefit when he needn’t have bothered.
I crossed around the outside of the room to head to the kitchen and pour a cup of coffee. Mug in hand, I faced him and watched. He moved with a grace that spoke of how many years he’d trained as a fighter. With the Captain at his side for a lot of it, I didn’t doubt he’d been kept in peak shape for most of that time. The Captain wouldn’t accept anything less.
A sharp pang hit my chest at the thought of him and I rubbed the ache that I knew would never go away. Fin glanced over at me, never missing a beat in his routine, and I just hoped he hadn’t felt that the same way I’d felt him last night.
I grabbed my phone I’d left on the counter the previous night and hit the speed dial for Hawk’s number. He answered with a groggy hello.
“We need another route for the metalsmithing. The contact is too afraid to help.”
He coughed and a rustle cut through the line. “You want me to go convince her?”
Seeing Hawk go head-to-head with Helix might be fun to watch.
Except, Hawk would probably get flayed open, and I didn’t want that.
“No, I promised I meant them no harm and it’s the truth. Besides, I doubt anyone could force her to help them if she didn’t want to. So, I need a new metalsmith or a new option to negate the blade.”
“I’ll see what I can do on my end. Maybe you should head back to the night market? Turn over a few more rocks.”
I snorted. “Those rocks were turned. I doubt we’d even be able to get back in after the way we left things.”
“You still think too much with your heart than your head. Next time, try negotiating.”
I took offense to that. Especially when I tried not to hurt them. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that, because I don’t want to put on pants to come kick your ass right now.”
He said, “I’ll call you when I have something. You, go back to the night market,” and hung up.
I slid my phone onto the counter and watched Fin go through his moves while I sipped my coffee. When he finished, he’d worked up a nice sweat and a sharp bite of regret consumed me. Damn it. I could be joining him in the shower right now and we could have another work out together.
Before I let my hormones or the mating thing run away with me, I grabbed a granola bar and settled on the couch with my laptop to do some research. We’d lost ground the previous day. Melinda might think no one else could help us, but I didn’t believe that for a second. Not with billions of people on the planet.
I spent the day ignoring Fin and doing research. He joined me at some point but didn’t offer any details on what he hunted for himself. When the sun started to set, I tucked my laptop away and went to get dressed for our second trip out to the Night Market.
Fin drove the SUV, and I kept silent in the passenger seat as he questioned this choice for the fifth time since he heard me talking to Hawk this morning.
When we made it to the clearing, night had descended. But no matter what magical tricks we tried, we couldn’t get access to the market.
“Is this unusual?” I asked as we headed back to the car.
He climbed in. “No, but occasionally they move the market. If we want to go back inside, we’ll have to find the coordinates again.”