Frances banged her knuckles in rapid motion against her cheekbones.
‘Stop hitting yourself,’ said Lars.
Frances dropped her hand. ‘I’ve never represented anyone in court before,’ she said.
‘This isn’t court,’ he said. ‘This is just a silly game.’
He looked over at Jessica, supposedly pregnant.
‘Tell Masha that my partner and I are planning to have a baby,’ he said flippantly.
‘We can’t lie,’ said Frances. She was clearly exasperated with him, poor woman.
The expression on her face made him think of Ray when Lars had done something to annoy or frustrate him. The compressed lips. The resigned slump of his shoulders. Those disappointed eyes.
He remembered the impish face of that little boy from last night and realised with a start that it wasn’t his younger self at all. The kid had hazel eyes. Ray’s eyes. Ray and his sister and mother all had the same eyes. Eyes that made Lars want to close his own because of all that terrifying love and trust and loyalty.
‘Tell Masha if I don’t live I’ll take out a wrongful death lawsuit against her,’ Lars told Frances. ‘I’ll win. I guarantee you I’ll win.’
‘What?’ Frances frowned. ‘That doesn’t even make sense!’
‘None of this makes sense,’ said Lars. ‘None of it.’
He saw again the dark-haired little boy with the hazel eyes, felt the tug of his hand and heard his insistent voice: I’ve got something to show you.
chapter sixty-four
Jessica
Jessica and Zoe sat opposite each other, cross-legged, on a yoga mat, as if they were about to do a joint Pilates exercise.
Jessica would have given anything to be in a Pilates class right now. Even the cheap one she did before they won the money, in that draughty community hall, with all the local mums.
‘Do you think this is, I don’t know, serious?’ Zoe’s eyes darted over to her parents and back. Jessica couldn’t help but notice Zoe had great natural eyebrows.
‘Ah, yeah, I kind of do,’ Jessica answered. ‘I feel like Masha is, like, totally capable of anything. She seems very unstable.’ She tried to control her breathing. The fear kept rising and then receding in her stomach, like bouts of nausea on an amusement park ride.
‘She wouldn’t really, like, execute anyone, of course,’ said Zoe, smiling fiercely, as if determined to show she was making a joke.
‘Of course not,’ said Jessica, but how did she know what this woman could do? She’d given them drugs without their consent, and who knew what she’d done to Yao and Delilah. ‘It’s an exercise, that’s all, to make us think. It’s just a really stupid exercise.’
‘I’m worried my mother might antagonise Masha. She’s not taking it seriously enough.’ Zoe shot a look at Heather.
‘Don’t worry, I’ll do a really good job defending her,’ said Jessica. ‘Your mother is a midwife. She helps bring new life into the world. Also, I was on the debating team. First speaker.’ Jessica is a conscientious student.That was the comment she used to see most often on her report cards.
‘And I’ll do a good job defending you!’ Zoe sat up straighter, with the air of a fellow conscientious student. ‘So, okay, I thought, first of all, I should obviously mention your pregnancy, right? You can’t execute a pregnant woman. That would be against some convention or something, right?’
‘That’s true,’ said Jessica doubtfully, although she wasn’t sure why she felt doubtful. Was it because the pregnancy wasn’t confirmed? Because it seemed like that was exploiting a loophole? She only deserved to live because her innocent child deserved to live?
And if she wasn’t pregnant, why should she live? Just because she really wanted to live? Because her parents loved her? Because she knew her sister loved her too, even if they were currently estranged? Because her Instagram followers often said she ‘made their day’? Because last financial year her charitable donations were higher than what had once been her annual income?
‘When we won the money, we really tried to, you know, not be selfish,’ she told Zoe. ‘To
share it, to give to charity.’ She ran her fingers through her hair like a comb and lowered her voice. ‘But we didn’t give it all away.’
‘No-one would expect that,’ said Zoe. ‘It was your prize.’
‘That’s one thing I miss about our old life,’ admitted Jessica. ‘Before we got rich we didn’t ever have to think about whether we were “good” people, because we didn’t have time to be good. We were just paying the bills, getting by, living our lives. It was kind of easier.’ She winced. ‘That makes it sound like I’m complaining and I promise you I’m not.’