I told myself, the only thing wrong in this picture was me. I shouldn’t have been there, watching them. He was a guy without a commitment and she was a woman who wanted that guy.
Me?
I was the stupid girl who fell in love with the wrong guy.
I was the masochist who hurt herself the same way, with the same mistake, again and again.
“Sorry I interrupted,” I whispered. My voice was hoarse because of the invisible hand that squeezed my throat.
“Melody, stop,” Kellan called out behind me, but it was too late. I was already out of his office. He could still catch me if he came after me, but he didn’t.
I grabbed my purse and coat from my office, put the folder on Emily’s desk with a note, and left the building as fast as I could in robotic movements, trying not to cry.
Kellan
Pacing back and forth in my office I was ready to explode. I made mistakes, I knew I did. First, I told her that she didn’t mean anything to me.
Fuck me if she didn’t.
She became the most important person in this world in such a short time. I didn’t even notice when and how she got under my skin, put a spell on me, but she did.
I wanted to spend every second with her –laughing along with her, working with her, fucking her. Lately, I was the happiest I had ever been.
Before her my life was dull. I was working, becoming the master of my own empire. I was fucking faceless women wherever I went, however I wanted. My life was fun, but it wasn’t satisfying, it didn’t make me feel alive.
After her… everything became complicated. My feelings were all over the place, I couldn’t even name all of my emotions around her. One moment I was enjoying my time, the next I was angry at something I couldn’t put my finger on.
Every time I was inside her, I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t want to leave her place, or her to leave mine. As a total opposite to my previous encounters I missed her warmth in my arms, her curves molded over my hard lines, her scent was what surrounded me when I opened my eyes in the mornings. When she wasn’t there –in my arms, in my bed, I was angry, disappointed even, and there was an unsettling feeling like something huge was missing in my life.
Each passing day, an idea rooted itself inside me, a silly idea –fantasizing a life with her, and the worst, each passing day those ideas didn’t sound so silly, anymore.
Being in a relationship was a risk I didn’t want to take. In the end, people got hurt… just for the sake of love. But could it be love if the only thing it did was hurting people?
I saw the damage a broken relationship could cause, I was the product of it. I saw how love could turn itself to hate, day by day… how it could kill everybody inside. Love had its expiration date and when that date came, it turned into an invisible murderer. As a small child I promised myself that I would never get attached, never love anyone else but myself. I promised myself that I wouldn’t be a killer, like my father was to my mother.
After Melody, I forgot my promises, I let her distract me with her sweetness and sensuality. But I was Brad Hawke’s son, hurting women was in my blood. My twenty nine years of life was proof of it.
How many women have I made cry because I couldn’t love them?
How many women loved me even as I didn’t even remember their names?
And how many times did I hurt Melody, even though I cared about her?
I had to get her out of my system. I knew all of those strange feelings were only my dick controlling my mind. I was determined to fuck her out of my mind with someone else… for the benefit of both of us.
That’s when Ruby came into my office… she was just like me –only one night stands, no commitment, no feelings. That was why I hooked up with her more than once. She was the only person who didn’t create drama.
“Hey, Hotshot. Long time no see,” she sat on one of the armchairs in front of my desk. Her long blonde hair was falling down in waves over her shoulders. It was similar to Melody’s, but not
as bright as hers. Melody’s hair was like silk around her face, creating a shiny halo.
Shaking my head, I focused on the beautiful woman in front of me. Her cleavage was deep, but her breasts were small, not like Melody’s soft tits.
Damn you, Kellan. Stop thinking about her!
“Yeah, I was busy. How are you doing?” I forced myself to smile.
“Same, I went to England for work after we last saw each other. And England taught me one thing: Despite the accent stupid guys are everywhere,” she rolled her blue eyes at me. Her eyes weren’t as expressive as Melody’s. I could get lost in the depth of Melody’s eyes, but Ruby’s eyes were just dull with boredom. I couldn’t blame her, being a lawyer was stressful.