But instead of heading for the window to watch him, I pull out my swimming suit from deep inside my closet. Without giving it a second thought, I slip it on and cover myself with a t-shirt that falls to my thighs. I rush through the house and walk toward the pool.
I know I don't really swim, but maybe I can enjoy the poolside, watching him. I don't even remember when was the last time I was in the pool. Probably never… not since.
Elijah turns to do another lap and stops when he sees me. Every nerve ending in my body tickles and buzzes with excitement when he looks me up and down. His Adam’s apple moves sinfully as he unabashedly checks me out. The tension around us has been palpable all week. God, since the first second we set eyes on each other. I’ve never thought of sex as much as I have since he entered my life, especially this passing week. And he’s the lead actor in my fantasies. I don’t know what he’s doing to me, but being close to him sets my body on fire like he pushes a switch inside me.
“Did you decide to join me?” he asks. His voice is breathy.
“Yeah. It’s a hot morning,” I shrug, trying to seem indifferent even though I’m nervous to take off the t-shirt. Taking a deep breath, I pull the t-shirt over my body and walk toward the pool with the confidence I don’t really feel.
“Yes. Hot,” he murmurs.
Suppressing my smile, I walk into the pool from the shallow side. My breath quickens as he swims toward me.
I shiver. “It’s cold.”
“You’ll get warm after a few laps. Come on,” he urges me with a chuckle, but I shake my head.
“I’m not a good swimmer. It’s been years since last time.”
His shock is clearly written all over his face. "You have this, and you don't swim?"
I shrug. I see the realization hit him as he comes closer to me. Lifting my chin up with his index finger he asks, “That story?”
I nod. Sadness shadows his handsome features, and when he's about to say something, I shake my head. I don't want to start my day with the guilt I carry on my shoulders. "Please. Maybe later," I tell him, hoping he'll let it go.
He nods and cracks a smile and change the subject. “Want me to help you swim?”
Excitement blooms inside me. This is how I want to start my day. I nod, half nervous half excited. I take his outstretched hand and let him pull me to the deeper side of the pool.
“Let’s see how much you know,” he says and let my hands go.
Trying to suppress my panic, I start to hit the water with my hands and feet. No matter how hard I hit, I feel the water pull me under. When my head gets under the water, I try to scream and swallow the bitter taste. The chlorine burns my throat. I open my eyes, but they hurt, too.
When strong hands grip me from my waist and lift me above the water, I start coughing.
“Shh, I got you,” he whispers over and over again while rubbing my back.
I clutch to him like a koala, heaving as I try to catch my breath. When I finally relax, I realize the position we’re in.
His hands are supporting me from my ass. My arms are wrapped around his shoulders while my head rests into the crook of his neck. Realization dawns on both of us at the same time and we both tense. I expect him to drop me back to the water or maybe move his hands to a more appropriate place, but instead, he just leans back to see my face.
“Are you okay?” he asks. His voice is husky, sending shivers to my spine.
I nod. “I panicked.”
“It’s okay. Do you want to continue or we can just stay still?”
I swallow the nerves. I’ve spent years with this fear and guilt. I want to heal. I want to remember my brother without feeling this suffocating guilt.
“I want to continue,” I say.
He nods and looks at me intensely, “I got you, okay?”
I nod again, let him lift me in his arms in a bridal style. I can’t let go of his shoulders with the fear inside me, but he slowly unwraps my hands, balancing my weight on his forearms as he places me on the water face up.
"Don't be afraid. I taught swimming to all of my sisters," he says, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes.
“I’m not your sister,” I say with more sass than I intended.